


Dreamscapes

by Zoe1078



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Romance, Shameless Smut, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-06
Updated: 2015-07-06
Packaged: 2018-01-07 19:12:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 77,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1123371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoe1078/pseuds/Zoe1078
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bella dreams of Jacob after she breaks his heart following the newborn battle. He is forced to leave town to protect her from a continuing threat, and the dreams continue. They are more than they appear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Won a Non-Canon Award and a Fanfic-N-Tastic Award. Also nominated for JBNP, Energize WIP, and 5 Fandom Choice Awards. Old story being posted here for the first time. I'm still trying to figure out how to properly format, so please forgive the lack of italicization, etc.

Summary: Bella dreams of Jacob after she breaks his heart following the newborn battle.

Rating: MA for lemons. 

Disclaimer:  All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 

 

X-x-x-x-X

Sunday

X-x-x-x-x

 

 

She can't stop thinking of the look on his face when she broke his heart. He is the only person in her life who has been consistently good to her, kind to her, and she has brought him little but heartache and pain. She recalls his screams as his bones were re-broken. She knows he would suffer through that physical torture an infinite number of times if only she would take back her words. All she can see is the hope in his eyes as she finally admitted her love for him, and the shade that came over them when she said it wasn't enough. She wishes it could be different, wishes it could be other than it is. Wishes that her heart belonged to her so she could give it to him. She knows it would be safe in his care.

 

 

But she gave away her heart long before she realized she could love him, and her heart was never returned to her. When Edward left, he took the broken pieces of her heart with him. Scattered them far from her on his travels. She found Edward just when she was on the cusp of taking back the broken fragments. She was about to pull them back to her. She was going to entrust them to Jacob. They both knew he would have fashioned the shattered pieces into something stronger than they were before. It’s what he does. He fixes things. Makes them better. But before she had the chance, she fled halfway round the world, found Edward and brought him home, but she still doesn't know what he's done with her heart. She can't give her heart to Jacob because she doesn't know where it is. She’s not even sure the pieces fit together anymore. Edward is back and she thinks he still has them, and he isn’t giving them back. She has no choice in the matter. Edward has the pieces of her heart, so she can’t give them away to someone else.

 

 

It's been days since she broke Jacob's heart. It's been days since she left him lying in his small bed, since she broke his heart to reflect his broken body. She knows Jacob will heal. There is old magic in him. It will take his fractured bones and bruised body and mend it together. But who will mend Jacob's heart? Is there magic in him to repair what she has done to him? Jacob put her back together. Who will put him back together?

 

 

She wants to undo what she has done. She feels guilt like she hasn't felt before. In the daylight hours, Edward tells her it's okay. Tells her that he knows she loves Jacob and didn't want to hurt him. Tells her that Jacob was there when he wasn't, and that it's okay that she loves him. She cries out that she loves Edward more. Murmurs that her love for Jacob is nothing compared to her love for him. Claims she has no regrets and wishes only for her eternity with him.

 

 

But at night, with cold arms wrapped around her, she dreams of warmth. She dreams that the lips that brush against hers are soft and pliant. Now she knows just how right the other lips taste on her tongue, and she cannot deny them in her dreams.

 

__

_ She is standing outside the closed door of his room. Everything she really wants is on the other side. Everything she really needs. Here, in the darkness of his home, she can admit it to herself. She takes a deep breath to steady herself. She enters, and quietly closes the door behind her.  _

 

__

_ He is peaceful and still as he sleeps. She had forgotten how young he really is. How innocent he should be. Innocent no longer, forced into a world of monsters and demons, growing into a destiny he does not desire. _

 

__

_ She watches his chest slowly rise and fall. His chest is no longer bandaged; his bruises have faded in the days since she left him last. The casts are gone, but she knows he is not yet entirely well. Weak moonlight filters through the window, illuminating his bronze skin. She wants to touch it. Wants to run her fingers along his collarbone, lying exposed before her. Wants to trace a path up his neck, along his pulse. Once she's turned, will his pulse call out to her? Will the blood running through his veins sing to her? They tell her that the wolves are repulsive to them, that the scent repels them. She edges closer to him, close enough to inhale the combination of rainwater and pine needles and earth that is uniquely him. That she could ever find his scent anything other than alluring is preposterous. His scent is comfort. His scent is home. With her luck, he will be her singer, her mortal enemy whose heart she has broken. _

 

__

_ She sits on the edge of the bed, causing his thin bedsheet to slide down. The movement exposes his torso to her greedy eyes. Her breath hitches in her chest. He is the most beautiful thing she has ever seen.  _ _ How has she not realized that fact until now? Yes, her marble-skinned Adonis is a work of art. But here in front of her are a broader set of shoulders, a plumper set of lips, a thicker set of long, dark lashes, a more defined set of abdominals. She looks at the arms that carried her to safety, that caught her before she fell, that wrapped around her to pull her out of churning, deadly waters, and that spun her in circles of love and laughter. _

 

__

_ One of those arms is still healing from a dozen different fractures. He is made more beautiful because of his vulnerability. His impermanence. He is more beautiful because he can be taken away. Because despite the long life afforded him, someday he will be gone. She has almost lost him already. And now she has driven him away.  _

 

__

_ She can't stand what she has done to him. So tonight she will make it up to him, if he will have her. She will give in to her true desire. She gently runs her hands along the planes of his stomach. She traces the ridge and valley of each rectus abdominis. Runs her index finger along the edge of his hip, where the external obliques point down to make a V. She traces back up. Serratus anterior. Pectoralis major. Deltoid. By the time she reaches the biceps, his eyes are open and looking right at her. _

 

__

_ He doesn't look at all surprised to see her. He knows her better than anyone else. He knows what she really needs. He can hear it in the sudden racing of her pulse. He can see it in the dilation of her pupils. He can hear it in the catching of her breath. He can smell it in the musky scent that floods his room as soon as she sees him looking at her. And now he wants to taste it on his tongue.  _

 

__

_ He starts by slowly sitting up. He doesn't want to scare her away. Her fingers are still on his injured arm, so he runs the fingers of his other hand up her opposite arm. He traces the opposite path that her fingers just travelled. Fingers, hand, arm, shoulder, breast (oh, so lightly), stomach, hip. He leaves a trail of burning electricity along her skin underneath the t-shirt she wears to sleep. He pulls her closer to him, and tugs until she's seated against his uninjured side. He wraps his arm around her waist to pull her flush against him, and runs his fingers up her flank until they are tangled in her hair, gently cradling the base of her skull in his large hand. She is plaint against him and neither of them has blinked.  _

 

 

_ He zeroes in on her parted lips. They are warm and soft and pink and still very much alive. He wants so very badly for them to stay that way. His words have not convinced her, but can his body? Is that why she came? He draws her in, dips his head, and barely brushes his bottom lip against hers. She lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding, and he breathes her in. She is gone. There is no point in resisting. She melts into him, her tongue reaching out to trace his lips. She could do this for days. This is the way a kiss is supposed to feel. Heat and passion, not cold and restraint. There is need and want and lust. But most of all, there is love.  _

 

__

_ She relishes his grip in her hair. He is flexing his injured hand gently against her thigh. The cotton beneath his fingers is soft, the flesh beneath even softer. She isn't sure if he has pulled her down or if she has pushed him back, but she finds herself lying on top of him, straddling his left leg through the thin sheet, her chest flush against his and her lips running down along his jaw. She nuzzles her nose along the sensitive skin of his neck and kisses the dip where his neck meets his shoulder. She tastes the salt of his skin and he moans. The sound provokes another rush of arousal in her, and she isn't embarrassed in the least to know that his heightened senses can pick up on every physical sign of her need for him. Because she can tell just how hard he is against her leg.  _

 

 

_ His fingers release their grip on her hair and her leg to find that the skin of her back is even smoother than he remembers. He has held her before, touched her skin, but never like this. He needs more, and so does she. He traces her vertebrae upward with his good hand under her shirt, while with his injured one he lightly tickles her flank, finding sensitive spots that he memorizes for later. She squirms a little, and he wonders what she'll do if he runs tongue there instead. He reaches a spot that makes her back arch, causing her to pull back from him just a little.  _

 

__

_ He is a little tentative, stilling his hands against her ribs and staring up at her. It makes her bold. She sits up all the way, the heat of her core easy to feel through his sheet and her thin cotton pajama pants. She looks him straight in the eye, pushes him back to the bed, grips the bottom of her shirt, and pulls it above her head. Her long hair drops down around her, partly shielding her breasts from his gaze. He can't breathe. He can see the underside of each breast, and he can't take his eyes off them. He is frozen until she takes his good hand in her own and gently squeezes, giving him permission. He swallows thickly, and gently brushes her hair over her shoulder and stares. _

 

__

_ She expects him to touch her, to pull his hand from her shoulder and trace, caress, cup, and fondle. But he doesn't. He is memorizing the way she looks right now. He is burning the image into his brain. He always wants to remember the exact blush across her chest, the pattern of freckles on her skin, the tightening of her light brown nipples in the cool air. It arouses her beyond belief, and he has barely touched her anywhere. With Edward, she is always in awe. Weak to his strength, submissive to his judgement, undeserving of his attention. But right now, she has never felt so powerful in her life. _

 

__

_ When Jacob finally moves, instead of reaching for her breasts, he pulls her up and toward him. She falls forward and locks her arms so as not to smother him with her chest. Although that is probably what he wants, because he reaches for her left nipple not with his fingers but with his tongue. He traces circles along her aureola with the tip, and laves the hardened peak with the flat expanse. It sends a deep ache between her legs and she moans deeply. He draws as much of her breast into his mouth as he is able, and he suckles lightly. Each taste draws a different sound from her throat. He wants to hear them all. He experimentally, lightly, runs his teeth along the nipple, and she tosses her head back and gasps. He feels a corresponding rush of wetness between her legs, and she unconsciously begins to squirm against his leg.  _

 

__

_ She is climbing higher and higher just from this. She had no idea her breasts were so sensitive. She has touched herself before, has fantasized before, has brought herself to orgasm by her own hand before, but the heat of him is more than she ever imagined. The waves of pleasure washing over her are wonderfully new to her. The seam of her pants is pressing up against her clitoris, and she can't stop herself from rocking against his thigh to cause delicious friction in just the right spot. He reaches his left hand up and brushes his knuckles along her right nipple, elevating her right to the cliff's edge. He can sense just how close she is, knows that she needs just a little push. So he rolls her right nipple between his fingers, oh so gently rolls her left nipple between his teeth, and presses his left thigh up into her core, and she is flying off the edge, crying out in wordless joy. _

 

 

_ She collapses on top of him, disoriented and happy. She feels him smiling into her hair. He is smug, surprised, and not just a little satisfied. If he can make her feel this way with half her clothes still on, how good will it be once she's completely naked and he's able to touch her everywhere? She decides to find out. She lifts herself off him and hooks her thumbs into the waistband of her pants, gazes at him through her lashes. His smirk disappears, and she pushes the fabric down past her hips. Her pants pool around her ankles and she steps out of them. His eyes are serious and dark as they rake up and down her body. She feels beautiful and wanted. He reaches out his damaged hand and lightly grips her hip, drawing her back to the bed. Before she climbs back onto the bed, she takes hold of the thin sheet still wrapped around his waist and tugs down.  _

 

 

_ Her breath leaves her in an audible woosh. She shouldn’t be surprised that he is naked. He wears little enough clothing out in public; why would he wear anything in his own bed? Despite having nothing to compare him to, she is quite sure that by any standards he is enormous. Enough to make her worried. Is there any way that's going to fit? She realizes she's been staring for a while when she drags her eyes off his cock and back up to his face, finding the smirk has returned. This time it's accompanied with a mischievous glint in his eye. She decides to wipe the smug look off his face, so she kneels on the edge of the bed and draws her fingers up his length.  _

 

 

_ He sucks in a sharp breath as she grips him by the base with her left hand, leaving her right free to explore. He is hot and hard and silky all at once. She traces along the large vein that runs its length, provoking a large sigh from him. She runs her thumb along the crown's edge, drawing a sharp gasp as she finds a sensitive spot in the center of the crown. She is fascinated by the drop of clear liquid weeping from the tip. She smooths it over the head with her thumb, and he groans. She brings her thumb up to her lips to taste him, and he is salty and tastes better than she'd imagined. At the same time she pumps once, twice, three times with her left hand. She grips him with both fists at once, the right on top of the left, and he is so large that nearly half of him is still exposed to the open air. She experimentally twists her fists while pumping them up and down in sync, drawing a series of deep, breathy moans from deep within his chest. He struggles to keep his eyes open, to watch what she is doing to him, to burn the image of her working his flesh into his memory to fuel his fantasies. If this is a game, she thinks she is winning until he grabs hold of her busy hands, stilling them, and pulls her up toward him. _

 

 

_ She thinks he is going to kiss her until he feels him tug her higher, settling her above him, her lovely legs resting on either side of his head, her core right above his face. She reaches for the wall to support herself above her, and is more nervous than she has ever been. For a second she is embarrassed about her own compulsion to shave herself bare, until she sees the hungry look in his eye. It's obvious that he loves the way she looks. He breathes deeply, and this time she really is embarrassed and trembles a bit above him. Before she has a chance to pull away, he leans up to kiss her mound sweetly. He smiles up at her. It’s not the bright, sunny grin that she thinks of as the quintessential Jacob smile. This smile is truly sexy. This one is meant for her, and her alone. It centers her. Calms her. Only Jacob could make her feel so comforted at a time like this.  _

 

 

_ Then his eyes darken and his lids droop. He moves side to side, nuzzling his nose gently along the folds at the top of her inner thighs. He peppers barely-there kisses along her lips in tingling trails. She had never realized just how sensitive her skin is there. When she’s touched herself in the past, she never took the time to explore her own body so slow or so thoroughly. She had no idea she could feel this good, and he still hasn’t touched her center.  _

 

 

_ He has her lovely ass gripped in his large, hot hands, and he can’t believe his good fortune. He is more turned on than he has ever been, and he knows he has brought her to the same place. She is desperate. Wanting. But not knowing exactly what it is she wants. She is on the verge of begging when finally, finally, he reaches out his tongue to lave the entire length of her slit. The taste is pure sex, and his cock throbs in response. Now he wants more. He teases her with a few more light strokes of his tongue, not quite stroking along the nub, until she is whimpering with need. With a groan, he gives in and presses his tongue firmly against her clit, and she screams.  _

 

 

_ He licks in frantic circles as she grinds down against his face. She is whimpering continuously, trying to get even closer to him. His hot mouth on her is pure pleasure. He pulls back just a little, and she is alarmed until she feels him move down to plunge his long tongue deep into her. Oh, a different sort of pleasure. He slowly thrusts his tongue and she tosses her head back with a gasp. He can sense the shift in her, that the wonderful sensations he is causing in these dual parts of her sex are separate and distinct. He grins into her body, slides his tongue back up to flick at her clit, and slides one large, thick finger slowly into her. She freezes above him. It’s almost too much. It’s somehow not enough. He gently fucks her with his hand as he tongues her, slowly picking up speed. He can’t believe how tight she is, and can’t wait to plunge his dick all the way in. He gazes up at her and thinks to himself that this is his new favorite view. Her head has fallen forward again, and she’s biting her bottom lip just like she does when she’s nervous. He knows that every time he sees her do that, from now on, he will flash back to this moment.  _

 

 

_ She needs just a little more, just a little something extra. He slides a second finger in and experimentally turns his fingers, and she bites her lip harder. He twists and pumps simultaneously, and she vibrates with pleasure. Then he curls his fingers. She cries out, arches her back, taut as a bowstring. He is incredibly turned on, and she isn’t even touching his cock. He repeats the motion again and again, and when he finally sucks her clit into his pursed, soft lips, that’s it. She’s gone. She’s coming, her legs locked onto his skull in his new favorite embrace. It’s almost endless, and her keening pleasure triggers his own release. He pumps up into the open air, spurting all over his own stomach. She finally falls over onto the bed beside him. _

 

 

_ He turns his head to look at her curled around his uninjured side. She looks more than satisfied. She looks happy. And she looks... asleep. He chuckles to himself. It’s just as well, seeing as he already came as well. Although he’s still hard, despite his own orgasm. Maybe it’s just being a teenage boy, maybe it’s one of the few perks of being a werewolf, maybe it’s that the girl lying next to him is Bella, but he’s pretty sure he wouldn’t even need a minute to recover for another round. But she looks more peaceful than he’s seen her in months. More peaceful than he’s ever seen her, really. He gazes at her sleeping form for long minutes, calm and content. He wants to hold onto this perfect moment in his hand. It’s the last thought he has before he succumbs to warm darkness. _

 

 

The next morning, Jacob gradually wakes with a small smile on his face. He doesn’t want to move. Last night was the best experience of his life. His smile turns into a smirk. Maybe they can finish what they started. They fell asleep too soon, and have some very pleasurable business to attend to. He reaches out his left arm and hits the wall. Oh. The sheets are cool beside him. His smile fades. He doesn’t want to open his eyes to confirm what he already knows. Was it really just a dream? Never in his life has a dream been so vivid. No other sex dream has ever come close. He can almost smell her strawberry scent in his nose. He’s dreamt of her before, sure, but not with such clarity. Nightmares aren’t so vivid. Not even the dreams he had of his mother in the weeks after her death, when he could feel her arms wrapping around him and hear her voice humming low in his ear, felt so real. He opens his eyes, squinting against the weak Washington light, and is greeted by a bare, empty room.


	2. Chapter 2

X-x-x-x-X

Monday

X-x-x-x-X

 

Bella stretches like a cat as she gradually comes awake. She luxuriously stretchwes her arms above her head, and rolls over onto the cool, empty side of her bed. She frowns. There is supposed to be a warm, soft body lying next to her, isn’t there? What happened? She rubs her legs together and is surprised to find herself fully clothed. For some reason, the soft fabric feels constricting. Did Jacob somehow dress her while she was sleeping? She blinks her fuzzy eyes in confusion and turns toward her rocking chair. Oh, good. He’s here. She smiles. His oversized body barely fits in the chair. Why is Jacob wearing a shirt? He was stark naked when she climbed into his bed the night before. Mmmmm. Jacob naked. What a sight. She looks back down at her pillow. Wait. She went to his bedroom last night, not hers. What is she doing here?

 

A musical chuckle startles her. It’s the wrong voice. “Your dreams were, ahem, eventful last night.”

 

She stiffens. What is Edward doing here? How can he sound so amused to find Jacob here in her room? She rolls back over to face the room and spies Edward sitting in the rocking chair. “Um, good morning?”

 

The smile he aims at her is a new one. It looks almost dangerous. “You know I love that that you talk in your sleep.”

 

Oh God. It was all a dream. Jacob isn’t here, but Edward has been here all night, and by the look on his face he was privy to quite a bit of her subconscious mind’s activities. She is absolutely mortified. His eyes are sparkling. “Don’t be embarrassed, love. It’s normal and natural. The wedding is only a few weeks away, and I know you’re thinking about us. I am too.” His eyes darken and his voice drops in pitch, “I miss being able to dream the way you were last night. But soon enough, it won’t matter. We can live those experiences with each other instead of just dreaming of them.”

 

He obviously thinks she was dreaming of him. It’s only slightly less mortifying, but she is very grateful that he can’t see her thoughts. Not once has she dreamed about him in such clear detail. The dream is as precise as memory.

 

“I’ve never wished more that I could see into that mind of yours, Bella.” She realizes he’s gripping the arms of the rocking chair tightly, barely restraining himself from denting the wood. “I wanted so badly to see that dream. But it’s probably best that I couldn’t.”

 

She laughs nervously. She can’t think of a thing to say to this. They never talk about their sexuality in this direct way.

 

“You don’t know the control I had to exert over myself last night, Bella. It was one of the most difficult experiences of my existence. It was the sweetest torture. I nearly fled from the room. I got as far as the tree outside the window, but the sound of your voice drew me back in.” He is staring at her intently. He licks his lips. “You were absolutely enthralling, my love.”

 

Suddenly he’s gone, and the chair is rocking and empty. Charlie knocks on her door. “Are you up, Bells? I’m on my way to work. You’re going to be late to Newton’s if you don’t get out of bed soon.”

 

She coughs and clears her throat. “Thanks, Dad, I just woke up. See you for dinner?”

 

“Okay, kiddo, have a good day.”

 

His footsteps recede, and Edward emerges from her closet. “You have me so distracted this morning, Bella. I didn’t hear him coming until he was right outside the door.” He flashes quickly to stand next to the bed and bends over her, pressing his lips firmly against hers. She shivers in response, and he smiles, mistaking it for pleasure. His lips are too hard. Too cold. She flashes back to her dream. _His hot mouth on her is pure pleasure. He pulls back just a little, and she is alarmed until she feels him move down to plunge his long tongue deep into her._ She flinches and imagines unyielding stone on her soft, warm core. It doesn't seem nearly as appealing as it used to, now that her body has a memory of something better.

 

She isn't responding to Edward's kiss. He pulls back and frowns. "What's wrong?"

 

_ Everything. Nothing.  _ She is so confused. She smiles sheepishly. "I just need a human moment, Edward."

 

It's not entirely a lie, so he believes it without question. "Of course, how foolish of me. Like I said, you have me so distracted. I'm about to make you late for work, aren't I?" He pushes himself off her, and she feels an unfamiliar sense of relief. He moves to the window. "Go ahead and get ready, love. I'll just wait until your father is gone and I'll be going as well. I'll see you tonight?" She nods, and he leans forward to drop another cold kiss on her lips. She flees to the bathroom before he can give her another.

 

She shuts the door and leans her forehead against it. What’s wrong with her? For nearly the entire duration of their relationship, she has been waiting for him to express this kind of desire. She should be taking advantage of it. She should be wrapping her hands into his tousled bronze hair and pulling him toward her. She should be indulging in the deep kisses he is usually too afraid to give her. She should be pushing his boundaries to see just how far he will go.

 

Instead, she is hiding in her bathroom remembering the burning touch of another man. A man she already rejected. A man whose lips have only actually touched hers twice. A man who is apparently haunting her dreams. _When Jacob finally moves, instead of reaching for her breasts, he pulls her up and toward him. She falls forward and locks her arms so as not to smother him with her chest. Although that is probably what he wants, because he reaches for her left nipple not with his fingers but with his tongue. He traces circles along her aureola with the tip, and laves the hardened peak with the flat expanse. It sends a deep ache between her legs and she moans deeply. He draws as much of her breast into his mouth as he is able, and he suckles lightly._ She flushes at the memory despite herself.

 

She shakes her head to clear it. She really is going to be late if she doesn't hurry. She turns the shower on and strips out of her pajamas, and brushes her teeth while she waits for the water to warm. She steps into the steamy shower and the heat transports her. _He has her lovely ass gripped in his large, hot hands. She is desperate. Wanting. But not knowing exactly what it is she wants. She is on the verge of begging when finally, finally, he reaches out his tongue to lave the entire length of her slit. The taste is pure sex, and his cock throbs in response. Now he wants more. He teases her with a few more light strokes of his tongue, not quite stroking along the nub, until she is whimpering with need. With a groan, he gives in and presses his tongue firmly against her clit, and she screams._

 

This is ridiculous. It was just a dream. She needs to get a hold of herself. She quickly finishes her morning routine and steps into the hallway wrapped only in a towel. She should have grabbed an outfit on her way to the bathroom. Will Edward still be in her room? She's not sure she wants to see him now in her state of undress. She pushes her bedroom door open cautiously and breathes a sigh of relief when she finds it empty.

 

She rushes off to work, pulling into a parking spot just in time to meet Mrs. Newton at the door of the store.

 

The day passes slowly. She alternates between boredom and anxiety. She isn't busy enough to keep her mind off the previous night. Not once has she had a dream with that level of detail. She is used to hazy dreams. Some elements of her dreams normally stand out, with vague connections between. Timelines skip, locations melt away, events shift and blur. Even her old nightmares when Edward was gone were never this sharp and focused. It felt so real. All her five senses were in overdrive. The sight of his rich, sweat dampened skin. The touch of his rough fingers sending electricity zinging up her spine. The heavy scent of musky sex surrounding them as they moved against one another. The sound of his rumbling moans from deep in his chest as she touched his shaft. The sharp, salty taste of his precum on her tongue.

 

How does her subconscious know how to supply such details? She is inexperienced, and normally her dreams reflect that. She has woken in the night slipping out of erotic dreams about Edward, but they always fade into a hazy sense of desire when she reaches a point in the dream with which she has no experience. They are rather like her real life in that way-- just when things start to heat up, Edward always pulls away. He doesn't pull away in her dreams, but her mind, lacking any firsthand knowledge of the actual sensations of sex, supply only the vaguest of details when she dreams. And at night, lying in Edward's cool embrace, she has little privacy with which to indulge her fantasies. It normally leaves her aroused and frustrated, and unable to bring herself release.

 

That must be it. She has been sexually frustrated for the duration of their relationship. Now the wedding is only weeks away, and he has promised to finally make love to her. Now that the moment is close to arriving, she can't help but think about it, even when asleep. And if the man in her dream is the wrong one, it really should come as no surprise. After all, Jacob has never hidden his feelings from her. Has never hidden his desire. And she has felt so guilty for hurting him. So it makes perfect sense that her subconscious would cast him in the starring role. It's a combination of sexual frustration and guilt.

 

She feels better having come to this conclusion. Guilt she can live with. Guilt she can understand, even embrace. It's her love for Jacob Black that she can't accept. 

 

\----------------

 

Jacob has never before been grateful to be responsible for all the laundry in his house. Today, though, it’s a blessing. Around the same time he realized that Bella had never come into his room the night before, he also realized he had had his first ever wet dream. His sheets are a mess. He feels completely ridiculous. This didn’t even happen when he was first going through puberty. So on top of being in pain (he still winces every time he moves), he is deeply frustrated, generally humiliated, and of course heartbroken, and he can now add to the list annoyed and horny. 

 

He sighs and strips his bed, picking up odd pieces of clothing off the floor on his way to the washing machine. He hears a knock at the front door, and Billy’s voice in greeting, “Afternoon, dear. He’s up and about now. Take a peek in the laundry room.”

 

Leah Clearwater steps into the small room. She tips her head in greeting, and he does the same. She has been acting almost solicitous to him in the past few days. Apparently all it takes to get on Leah’s good side is to save her life, or be related to her. The list of people she seems to like is short. It contains Jacob, her brother, and her mother. He figures he’s probably being unfair to her. She would probably be doing well if she wasn’t stuck here on the rez against her will, with only her pack brothers and their imprints for company. 

 

“Did I miss anything at the pack meeting?”

 

“Yeah. Everyone says ‘hi’. Quil wanted to come over last night to entertain you with a Girls Gone Wild video, but I stopped him. You can correct me if I was wrong, but I figured that even if you weren’t resting up like you’re supposed to be doing, watching lame soft core porn with one of your closest male friends wasn’t high on the list of things you wanted to be doing.” She passes Jacob the bottle of detergent on the shelf behind her.

 

“Thanks. You were right.” It was a good thing too, considering the dream he would probably have interrupted. _The last thing I needed was for anyone to bust in on me while I was lying unconscious on my bed with a raging boner._ “Any updates I should know about?” He finishes putting the load of laundry in, and they move into the kitchen.

 

“Unfortunately, yes. You know how we noticed some residual vamp trails around the battle site? Well, it turns out that they aren’t all from those Italian bloodsuckers or the Cullens cleaning up the area. There’s one scent in particular that we keep running across, and Dr. Fang told Sam he’s sure it belongs to none of them. It’s pretty fresh.”

 

“Shit. I was really hoping we could catch a break for once. Do you want something to drink, by the way?”

 

Leah nods. “Sure, thanks. It gets worse. The trail passes by the Swan place. I don’t know what it is about that girl, Jake, but she’s gotta be some kind of bloodsucker catnip.” She stops and rolls her eyes. “I really, really don’t get what it is about that girl.”

 

Jacob realizes that he’s about to spill the orange juice he’s holding, he’s started shaking so hard. Leah puts her hand out to take the juice away before it all ends up on the floor. “It’s okay, Jake, we’re keeping a close eye on her. Since no one really knows what’s going on yet, Sam and Dr. Fang decided to keep playing fast and loose with the boundary line. They’re still not allowed on our land, but we can patrol anywhere we need to.”

 

“I’ll get back on the rotation today.”

 

“You know you’re not supposed to do that yet. You’ll be no good to her or to us limping around on a bunch of broken bones. Although I’d pay good money to get one of those giant cones around your wolf’s head,” she says with a grin.

 

Her attempt at levity falls on deaf ears. “Look, Jake, I don’t understand her in the least. I pretty much despise her, as a matter of fact. And the guys aren’t exactly thrilled with her, either. But none of us are going to let anything happen to her, or any other human being. We’re running extra patrols, and we’re practically sitting on her 24/7.”

 

“And if she asks for something to happen to her?” Jacob asks, an agonized expression on his face. 

 

Leah knows exactly to what he is referring. It’s his worst nightmare: her plans to be turned into one of them, and it’s about to come true. “You mean her suicide pact? Our response is still a matter of debate.”

 

Suddenly, Jacob is screaming and running out the back door. “What the fuck! She’s supposed to be...” He’s phased before he finishes his sentence, his tattered clothes dropping to the ground. Leah sprints after him, ruining one of her last remaining sundresses in her haste to phase and follow Jacob into the woods. He’s not easy to catch up with, even though she’s incredibly fast and he is still injured. As she enters the pack mind, she can feel him pushing through the pain of his newly re-injured body.

 

_ What the hell are you doing? _

 

_ I saw her! I saw that red-headed leech. I thought she was dead!  _

 

More voices add to the confusion. Quil and Brady are already on patrol. _Jake? What the fuck is going on? You’re not supposed to be phasing yet._

 

_ How did you let her get by you?  _ Jacob rages, racing full tilt toward Bella’s home. _Did she come from the ocean?_

 

_ Who, man? What the hell are you talking about? _

 

_ The crazy red-headed bitch. The one I thought Edward and Seth ripped to shreds last week! I saw her in woods behind my house. I was looking out the window, and there she was between those two giant fir trees. _ He flashes them all the memory of the crazy vampire glaring at him from the treeline. 

 

Quil turns back to the spot Jacob referred to. _Here? This is where you saw her?_

 

_ Yeah, right there. Where the fuck did she go?  _ Brady is circling the Black house while Jacob and Leah race to Forks.

 

Quil sniffs carefully. _Man, there’s no trace of a scent. You’re not following a trail, are you?_

 

_ No, I don’t smell anything. But I have to make sure Bella is safe. I have to make sure she’s okay.  _

 

Leah is running alongside him. _I don’t smell anything either, Jake. And I didn’t see anything._

 

_ You had your back turned to her when I spotted her. Guys, check the trees. Maybe that’s why we can’t pick up on a trail.  _ Quil obliges, exploring carefully.

 

Jacob and Leah approach Forks. Jacob is limping badly now, ignoring the tearing pain along his fracture lines, some of which have now split back open again. They reach the Swan residence. Leah splits off to circle the house and search for any fresh trails. He hears Brady running a wide circle around his house, and Quil still searching the trees carefully, finding nothing. He pads silently toward the backyard and stops just shy of the clearing.

 

She’s here. She’s alive. She’s warm and breathing. He can see her through the kitchen window. She has a dangerously sharp looking cleaver in her right hand, and she’s chopping vegetables. He nearly collapses in relief when he realizes that she is safe, and none of the wolves have found a fresh trail nearby. Leah approaches him. 

 

_ The old trail back that way is the same one we ran across earlier. Nothing new. _

 

Quil and Brady chime in. _We’ve searched the woods, Jake. No sign of a leech._

 

_ I don’t know what’s going on, guys. I know what I saw. _

 

_ But she’s dead, Jake. Shredded and burned. Maybe it was another leech that just looked like her? Escaped at the top of the trees, so we can’t tell?  _

 

He flashes the image to them again, of Victoria behind his house.They all agree that it does look just like her.

 

_ Go home, Jake.  _ Leah nudges his flank with her nose. _You’ve just re-broken a couple of those nasty fractures. We can take it from here. Unless you want to go see her?_

 

_ No, I can see her from here. She’s okay. I don’t need to talk to her. There’s nothing left to say. _

 

_ Do you need help getting home? _

 

Jake shakes his head. _Brady, Quil, you guys didn’t check along the shoreline, did you? Do that before it gets too late. The tide could wash away any fresh tracks._ He keeps his thoughts carefully neutral as he limps home.

 

\----------------

 

Leah waits until Jacob has phased out before calling out to Quil. _Can you bring me some clothes? There should be something you can take off the line behind the house._ Quil shows up several minutes later. She takes the dress in her mouth and steps behind a line of trees. They both phase back to human to talk privately. 

 

“Thanks for the clothes. What do you think that was all about?” 

 

“Not a clue. I’d say Jake was just high on painkillers, but what he showed us in his mind looked pretty clear. It did look just like that crazy bitch vamp from last week.”

 

“You’re right. It did. I don’t know if it has anything to do with the other trails we found around here. Have you sniffed them out yourself?”

 

“No, I didn’t bother. My patrols have all been back home, not around Forks.”

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“Here, then. Come this way. Maybe you can find something I didn’t notice.” Leah leads him deeper into the woods to the stale smelling trail that passes by Bella’s home. 

 

“Yeah, this isn’t exactly fresh, but it’s not old enough to be from before the big battle. One of them obviously did escape. I’m going to follow it out a bit. I know you did that already, but it can’t hurt to double check, right?”

 

“Uh huh, it’s a good idea. I’m going to stay here and keep an eye on the house. I’ll catch up with you later, Quil? At the end of the shift?”

 

He nods as he lopes off into the forest. Leah heads back to the Swan house. She only pauses for a minute before making up her mind.

 

\----------------

 

Bella is glad to be home. Mrs. Newton could tell that something was off, but was too polite to ask. Still, Bella felt scrutinized, and it’s nice to have some time to herself. She has a couple hours of solitude before Charlie gets home for dinner, and a couple more before Edward will sneak back into her bedroom. She’s decided to put a little more care into dinner tonight. She can use the distraction of extra work. A stir fry means lots of extra chopping, thinly slicing the chicken and cutting lots of vegetables into small, bite sized pieces. Even better, it’s a healthy meal that Charlie genuinely enjoys. Now she just has to get him to eat brown rice instead of white. Ever since Harry Clearwater died of a heart attack, Bella has been a bit paranoid about Charlie’s poor dietary choices.

 

She has just finished slicing the carrots when a knock at the back door startles her. She flinches at the sound, accidentally flinging the cleaver up into the air. She feels herself pulled abruptly backward a tight, warm grip as the cleaver flips over mid-air and lands with a thunk, sticking straight up out of the chopping block.

 

“Careful, there. Unless you plan to make your blood part of the sauce.” Leah lets go of her arms. 

 

“Um, thanks?” She mumbles, stupidly.

 

“That trick with the knife would have been kind of cool if it had been deliberate, and if you hadn’t nearly impaled your own hand with it.” Leah is smirking and leaning against her kitchen wall. It reminds her of Jacob. 

 

“Well, you know, clumsy me.” She nods, not knowing what else to do, so she pulls the knife out of the wood and pulls out celery to slice.

 

“Making a stir fry?”

 

Why is Leah here? It can’t possibly be to grill her about her dinner plans. It can’t possibly be for anything good. She rambles nervously, “Charlie likes stir fry. I want him to eat better, you know? And this is one of the only ways he eats his vegetables without pouting like a child. And I don’t have to use much oil, so that’s good. He usually says that poultry is for hippies, and beef is for real men, but I just won’t make him a steak every day. It’s not good for him.” The moment her babbling words leave her mouth, she realizes what a mistake she’s just made, “The way he eats on his own, he’s going to give himself a coronary. I’ve to go take care of him since he’s not going to take care of himself.”

 

Leah narrows her eyes at Bella. She didn’t come here to argue, but Bella is so dense and so infuriating. Did she really just go there? She snarls, “You think that feeding him healthy food for two months is going to make up for what you’re about to do to him? Take care of him? What the hell is the point of taking care of him for two more months, and then abandoning him for all of eternity? You’re worried about his heart? Are you kidding me? You’re going to fucking break it when you walk away and never come back, and you’re worried about his heart?”

 

She’s shaking now, and Bella backs away. It’s taking everything Leah has not to phase in the middle of Charlie Swan’s kitchen. Leah grits her teeth. “I’m not here to fucking argue with you. You’re not worth the extra breath.”

 

“Why are you here?” Bella asks in a small voice.

 

“The rogue vampire. I need to know what you know.”

 

Bella looks at her blankly. “Rogue vampire?”

 

This produces a dark laugh. “Oh, of course he didn’t tell you. Your loving fiance hasn’t mentioned that one of the leeches escaped from the newborn battle last week?”

 

Bella shakes her head. “I don’t know about any of that,” she whispers.

 

Leah smirks at her again. “He doesn’t tell you much, does he? Enjoying blissful ignorance, huh? Love isn’t just blind, is it? It’s blind and stupid.” 

 

“What are you talking about? I thought they were all dead.”

 

“At least one got away. There have been some trails by your house. Nothing too fresh, but new since the battle.”

 

Bella sways on her feet, lightheaded all of a sudden. Edward said nothing about this, nor did any of the other Cullens.

 

Acid drips from Leah’s tongue, “Well, ask your precious bloodsucker the next time you see him. And try not to get yourself killed, okay? I’d hate for you to get murdered before you have a chance to commit suicide.” And she’s gone.

 

What the hell was that all about? Edward said that the Volturi destroyed the only newborn who survived the battle. He hadn’t told her anything about fresh trails or a remaining threat. Could it be that he doesn’t know? It seems unlikely. Even if no one had told him anything, he can read the minds of his entire family and the wolfpack. She sighs in frustration as she finishes chopping the vegetables. She’ll ask him about it tonight, and she already know what he’s going to say. She’s sure he has her best interest in mind, but it doesn’t make her any less frustrated. 

 

She spends the next few hours swinging between annoyance, fear, and guilt. Leah’s words about breaking Charlie’s heart are starting to get to her. She has tried not to think too hard about Charlie. She has grown accustomed to cooking for him. He’s always so appreciative. Their dinners are spent in a comfortable silence, neither of them pushing too hard into the other’s personal space. It makes it simultaneously easier and harder to walk away from her father. Life, for him, will go on much as it always had. They’ve spent most of the last several years apart from one another, and he has done fine for himself. He’ll do fine again once she’s gone, despite how much he’s come to enjoy her presence. It’s not hard to justify leaving. After all, if her life had taken a more mundane path, she would still be leaving in a few months. She’d just be going away to college.

 

She has done a pretty good job avoiding thoughts beyond the next couple years. He’ll miss her when she doesn’t come home for the holidays, but he must have expected to split his already limited time with her between himself and Renee. And maybe after the first few years, her newborn thirst will be controlled, and she can come back and see him. She will at least be able to talk to him on the phone. It’s not like she’ll actually be dead. 

 

Moreover, it’s not like she really has a choice in the matter. As Edward told Jacob, being apart nearly killed both of them. She can’t live without him; he can’t live without her. It’s as simple as that. So there is are only two options. Be with him as a human, or be with him as a vampire. The former option is simply absurd. In a few short years, people will wonder about them as a couple. She’ll be labelled a cougar. A few more years beyond that, and people will think she’s his mother. Then his grandmother. Then her mortality will catch up with her, and she knows that he’ll end his own life rather than live without her. It’s ridiculous and untenable. It’s no option at all. Which leaves only one choice.

 

Just as she’s finished cooking the rice, she hears Charlie’s cruiser pull up the drive. He greets her, and she thinks he probably had a long day at work from the look on his face. “Hey, Bells, smells great in here. Man, I’m gonna miss your cooking. I think the diner will be getting their number one customer back soon.”

 

She feels a wave of guilt wash over her. “I hope you like it. Long day?” She sets a plate down in front of him.

 

He picks up his fork. “We got the strangest report today. A swimmer got attacked in the water. That’s a new one around here. I thought we had our wild animal quota filled by those bear attacks.”

 

“Was there a shark or something?”

 

“Doesn’t sound like it. Odd story. This guy apparently goes swimming just about every day, apparently he’s very strong in the water. He was finishing up his usual hour down by First Beach when he felt something drag him down. Says something cold and hard wrapped around his leg. Nearly drowned.” He digs into his meal and chews. 

 

“How did he get away?”

 

“Not really sure. Apparently one of the Quileute kids saw him struggling and dove into the water to get him out. Brady Fuller. You ever met him?”

 

“I’ve seen him at some of the bonfires,” she nods, waiting for him to continue.

 

“So Brady happened to be on the beach, saw him thrashing in the water, and didn’t hesitate to run on in and help the guy. It sounds like by the time Brady got to him, whatever had grabbed his leg was probably gone. Got scared away maybe? But he was really struggling by then, had inhaled a lot of seawater and was only half conscious. Brady pulled him to shore, and he coughed up all the water. Somebody had called 911 by then, so that’s how I got involved. Who knows what kind of animal it was. I guess I’ve heard octopi can be sort of aggressive, but I’ve never heard of one attacking a human swimming along the surface by the beach. Anyway, stay out of the water for a bit, okay?”

 

She shakes her head. “I’ve got no plans to go to the Beach anytime soon, Dad.”

 

“You should pay Jake another visit. He’s still laid up at home, isn’t he? I’ll bet he’d love to see you.”

 

“I’m not so sure.” The wave of guilt she felt earlier has been overtaken by a wave of fear, but another wave of guilt is coming on.

 

Charlie frowns again. She knows he wants to say more, but neither of them is any good at that kind of conversation. Not for the first time, she’s thankful for it. She’s lost her appetite and picks at the rest of her meal, worrying quietly. The thing in the water was no octopus. She knows exactly what it was. The pack is going to have to figure out how to phase into sharks now. She has the ridiculous thought that Jake and Seth would made great dolphins. Leah could be a barracuda. 

 

The rest of dinner is efficient and quiet until Charlie plops himself in front of the Mariner’s game, and Bella heads up to her room to find Edward standing by the window.

 

“Good evening, my love.” His pupils are back to their usual golden color. The lustful black dilation of his pupils is gone. He steps forward to hug her, but she stops him with a hand.

 

“What’s going on, Edward?”

 

He looks genuinely puzzled. “Regarding...?”

 

“The vampire that got away. The one from the newborn battle.”

 

He looks down at his feet. “Ah, I was hoping to spare you the worry, darling.”

 

She’s frustrated and steps back, “Too late. Leah came by today and asked me what I knew. She said the trail leads by the house.”

 

“It hasn’t been by for several days, love. I don’t think it’s still around.”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Her fists are clenched, and she has to actively think to release them.

 

“Like I said, I was hoping to spare you the worry. And it hasn’t been here in days. We’re keeping a close eye on you and Charlie, Bella, and so are the wolves. You know that none of us will let anything happen to you.”

 

It’s frustrating and endearing all at once, his desire to protect her from worry. She knows he means well. Edward always means well.

 

“Then you’d better talk to the pack, Edward. I don’t know what happened today, but I’m pretty sure Leah Clearwater didn’t just feel like dropping by for a social visit.”

 

He steps toward her and reaches out a cool hand for one of her warm ones. He squeezes gently. “You’re right, my dear. You have my apologies. Am I forgiven?” He flashes her his charming, crooked smile.

 

“Maybe.” _Yes._ She is learning she is powerless against his hold on her. She will forgive him anything, and this is such a small thing to forgive. “But this is a newborn who was created for the sole purpose of destroying me, correct?”

 

His face clouds over. He nods. 

 

“So even though its creator is dead, the only thing it knows is that it’s supposed to kill me?”

 

“I won’t let that happen to you, Bella. You know that. I’ll always protect you.” He pulls her in with a fierce grip. His voice is hard.

 

“I know, Edward. I trust you.” _I have no other choice._ “Just keep me updated, okay?” She remembers the mild sense of humiliation she felt when Leah realized she was entirely in the dark. She shouldn’t be the last to know, not about this.

 

He releases his grip on her. “You should get some rest, my love. I’ll be here all night to watch over you. I won’t let anything happen.”

 

She nods and turns to ready herself for sleep. He tucks her in, surrounding her with blankets to ward off the chill emanating from his hard form. He gracefully lowers himself down next to her and wraps a protective arm around her. She turns into the crook of his arm and is asleep before she realizes it. Her last conscious thought is to wonder if it would be more comfortable to lie on something softer.


	3. Chapter 3

X-x-x-x-X

Monday night

X-x-x-x-X

 

_ He doesn’t want to wait tonight. He’s too impatient to see if she will show up again, so he finds himself climbing the tree outside her window. He’s lucky for once. The window is open, and she is alone, deeply asleep. He grins lasciviously as he drops silently into her room. When he woke the night before, she was staring hungrily at him, tracing her fingers across his skin. Now it’s his turn to stare. He tried hard to memorize every inch of her skin last night, but he didn’t get to explore. Her body is a rich, fertile land, and he wants to intimately acquaint himself with every inch of her. _

 

_ He quietly closes the window behind him. He doesn’t want her to get cold. He silently crosses the room, avoiding loose and squeaky floorboards, to flip the lock on her door. He wants no interruptions tonight. He kneels by the bed. The night is uncommonly clear, a full moon sending a glow through the window, illuminating her pale skin. She is lovely. Peaceful. He almost doesn’t want to disturb her rest. But he knows she won’t mind.  _

 

_ She’s wrapped in a ridiculous number of blankets to ward off the cold from her open window. It’s summer; why so many covers? She doesn’t need those anymore. He’ll keep her warm. She’s lying on her stomach, arms wrapped around her pillow, face turned toward the window. Her rich, chestnut hair is blocking his view of her face, so he gently brushes it away. She doesn’t stir. _

 

_ He pulls the heavy comforter down and away, revealing another thin blanket underneath. He tugs that one down as well. There’s still a sheet. It’s like he’s unwrapping the best gift he’s ever gotten. He removes the sheet as well, and then there’s just her. He’s getting hard just looking at her back rise and fall. She’s wearing a simple white tank top and thin, light blue boyshorts. Totally unpretentious. Somehow just as sexy as expensive lingerie. _

 

_ He could watch her all night long, enthralled by the simple movement of her breathing, listening to her occasional deep sighs. If she gets her way, the number of breaths she has left is severely limited. If he gets his way, she’ll have a few billion more sweet breaths. _

 

_ He places a warm hand on her calf. He loves her legs. Long and slender all the way up. She's not a skirt or dress sort of girl, but the summertime is too warm for jeans, even this far north, so she lives in shorts a lot of the time. He secretly loves to walk behind her so he can stare at her legs and her ass as she walks, a sexy little sway to her hips. It's totally unconscious, which makes it even more alluring. She is the definition of effortless beauty. There is no false advertising here. She doesn't cover herself with unnecessary makeup, heavy perfume, or fancy clothes. She is just naturally lovely. Just the way he likes it. _

 

_ Ever since he shot up nearly a foot and gained 50 pounds of muscle, Jacob has noticed girls noticing him (not to mention the women, and a few men). He's not interested in girls who paid him no mind only months before, who had known him most of his life and were entirely indifferent to his presence, who now flirt shamelessly. But Bella continues to treat him exactly as she always has, even if he occasionally catches her gazing at him out if the corner of his eye. If he ever teases her about it, she blushes and vehemently denies. She genuinely doesn't seem to realize that he does have an effect on her even when it's plainly obvious to everyone else that he does. But now he has the chance to prove it to her. He plans on taking every opportunity that arises. _

 

_ He lightly runs his fingers up the length of her legs, stopping only when he gets to the hem of her sleep shorts, and runs them back down. It produces a sIight shiver, but doesn't wake her up. He moves down to massage the soles of her feet. She never complains, but he knows that by the end of a shift at Newton's, they are usually aching. She has very sensitive feet, and moans a little in her sleep. Still she doesn't wake.  _

 

_ Her skin is so soft. He can't resist, so he plants light kisses on the sole of each foot and up the back of each leg. He notes which spots produce unconscious squirming for later.  _

 

_ She wakes to the delicious sensation of his hot tongue tracing circles along the back of her left knee. Who knew that would be an erogenous zone? Only Jacob could know. He's tickled her there before. No one else has touched that spot in years. _ _ Certainly not Edward. She pushes thoughts of Edward far from her mind. He’s not here. She hopes he stays gone, wherever he is. _

 

_ She hears herself moaning, and turns her head to speak. It comes out rough and sultry since she’s still half asleep. “You’re here. I was afraid you wouldn’t come.” _

 

_ She feels his lips smile against her skin, “You know I can’t stay away from you.” _

 

_ “Don’t stop what you’re doing. It feels so good.” _

 

_ He chuckles, and the puffs of his breath leave tingling in their wake. He moves slowly up the backs of her thighs, alternating between kisses, licks, and gentle nips with his teeth, simultaneously running his fingers behind his lips. He learns that the area just below her ass is especially sensitive, and he can easily tickle her if he moves the wrong way. Or perhaps it’s the right way. He keeps running into the hem of her shorts. “These are in my way,” he growls. _

 

_ She lifts her head off the pillow. “So take them off.”  _

 

_ He pulls away, and she lifts her hips to assist his efforts, but he doesn’t move back toward her. She turns, and he’s kneeling on the end of the bed, hands on his hips, looking like sex personified. She gawks at him rather blatantly. He’s dressed in his usual denim shorts, and nothing else. She peripherally takes in his well defined abs and sculpted biceps, but can’t help but zero in on his cock. He’s already erect, and she hasn’t even touched him. He’s so big that he doesn’t fit into his shorts. She can see the thick head of his cock peeking out from the denim. She realizes she’s almost drooling, and gulps loudly. “That looks uncomfortable.” _

 

_ He’s staring at her intently, and smirks. “Wanna help me with it then?” His voice is low and husky. His voice often has the same timbre when he first wakes. She knows she’s going to get aroused whenever she wakes him up from a deep sleep and hears that rough tone in his voice.  _

 

_ She nods, and can’t think of anything to say, so she just reaches for the fastening of his shorts. She can’t help but brush up against his thickness with the backs of her fingers as she frees the button, and she lowers the zipper with a shaking hand. His skin is so hot. As usual, he’s wearing no underwear and springs free. She reaches for him with her small hand, but he grabs it before she can properly take hold of him. He shakes his head and slides off the end of the bed, standing so he can lower his shorts. The head of his cock is weeping, and she wants to taste him again.  _

 

_ He stops her before she can start to stroke him. “Nuh uh, not yet.” He’s afraid that once she gets her hot little hands on him, it’ll be all over, and he wants to take his time tonight. He pushes her arms back down toward her body, turns her to her original position on her stomach. She’s confused until she feels him nudging at the small of her back. He’s pushing her thin shirt upward with his nose, exposing her skin just a little bit at a time. He drags his plump bottom lip up her spine, making her gasp. He runs his tongue along her flanks, and produces squirming moans. He has her shirt bunched up under her shoulderblades, and finally decides it’s just in his way. She lifts up just high enough that he can tug it off, and he pushes her prone again. He discovers that kissing between her shoulderblades makes her hum, and massaging her shoulders makes her sigh. _

 

_ He brushes her thick hair to the side, exposing her neck. He barely brushes his lips back and forth where her neck meets her shoulder, and hears her start to pant. He extends his warm tongue to caress the same spot, and experiments with different levels of pressure until he finds the throaty moan that he loves. He shifts to kiss just behind her ear. Her reaction is instantaneous and strong. She's been turned on since he put his hands on her, before she even awakened. But when he kisses the spot behind her ear, she instantly gets wet. The scent drives him wild, and as he lavishes attention on her with his tongue and lips, he lowers his body to press against her fully.  _

 

_ She loves the weight of him pressing her into the mattress. She relishes the sensation of his hot length pressing into her thigh, leaving his precum to mingle with the liquid pooling between her legs. He's so close to where she wants him to be. She squirms helplessly in a vain attempt to shift him just a little higher, just a little deeper in between her legs. She realizes she's whimpering rather pathetically. She's in no position to get him to move, and her shorts are still in the way. _

 

_ "Patience, honey. We'll get there, I promise," he chuckles warmly, whispering in her ear, "There's so much more of you that I want to explore." _

 

_ He pulls away, leaving a chill behind on her skin, now shimmering with a thin sheen of sweat. He rolls her onto her back. "We're not even halfway there." _

 

_ She looks into his eyes for the first time tonight. Before, she was too distracted by the sight of his cock. He is fixated on her with an expression that is equal parts lust and love. How can he be so tender, yet so powerful, all at the same time? She reaches out for him, and he can't resist falling into her outstretched arms. She pulls him in to hold him, and he slides his arms underneath her so he can give her a full-on signature Jake Black bear hug. Minus the spinning her off her feet, that is, and minus the clothes. They are still for several long moments. That is, until she wraps her long legs around him to complete the hug, and in so doing tilts her center into direct contact with his skin. She gasps and arches, and does it again. It's such a delicious feeling, her core sliding against his taut skin.  _

 

_ He pulls back again and grins. “Hey now, I thought I told you I’m not done exploring. I want to know all of you, baby.” Oh. She wants to hear him call her baby again. She wants to hear what the word sounds like when he’s laughing, when he’s whispering softly into her ear, and most especially, when he’s moaning in ecstasy buried deep inside her. She just wants him, and she wants him now. But he shifts to hold her hips still. _

 

_ She pouts a little, and in response he runs his thumb along her bottom lip. “Mmmmm. So damn soft. I love your mouth, baby.” A thrill runs through her again at the endearment. He leans forward to press his lips against hers, and she immediately parts them. If he won’t slip his cock into her the way she wants, she can at least try to take charge of this kiss. She runs the tip of her tongue along his upper lip, and then his lower. He hums, and she smiles. Now she’s the one drawing wonderful sounds from him. She grins and bites his lower lip gently, and he groans. She deepens the kiss until they’re both panting, locked together. _

 

_ He reluctantly pulls back again. “You’re trying to distract me. I have a plan, honey, and I have every intention of following through.”  _

 

_ She shifts her hips against him again, and moans in protest, “Please, I want you.” _

 

_ “Me too, baby, so bad. And you’ve got me. I promise.” She has more than just his body, and they both know it. _

 

_ He scoots up a bit to place butterfly kisses along her hairline, down her nose, and across her eyelids. It’s tender and sensual all at once. He traces a path down her jaw and neck, paying special attention to her pulse point. He stops to relish the beating of her heart beneath his lips, and reaches out to touch the spot with his tongue. It sends more shivers down her spine, so he lavishes the area with attention. Eventually he trails along each collarbone, finding them sensitive as well. He files the information away for later, when he has the opportunity to just tickle her.  _

 

_ He kisses a path down her left arm, stopping to nuzzle the inside of her elbow, barely even touching, and discovers another sensitive spot. He kisses the tip of each finger in turn, and then stretches to give the same treatment to the other arm. By the time he’s done, her whole body is tingling.  _

 

_ He turns to rest his cheek between her breasts. “Aahhh. Maybe I’ll just stop and take a nap here. It’s so comfortable.”  _

 

_ “Don’t you dare stop now,” she whines. She runs her fingers through his thick hair, tugging lightly. He lifts his head up, and traces back and forth just beneath her collarbones with his fingers. He moves slowly down until he is circling around her nipples, never quite touching them, sending her into a frenzy. She’s squirming around frantically, and dripping with want. “Please... please,” she cries. _

 

_ “I will, honey, I will,” he whispers against her skin. He’s brushing his lips against the underside of her breast, oh so lightly. Her skin is ablaze with heat. He has her hips gripped in his strong, hot hands, holding her still as he places soft, open mouthed kisses all over her belly. He stops to trace his tongue along the edges of her bellybutton, and then dips the tongue inside. It sends a jolt straight to her center, and she rocks upward against him. _

 

_ He scoots down further to the edge of her short, and glances up at her wickedly. “I want what’s under here,” he growls.  _

 

_ “It’s yours, I’m yours. Just... please!” It’s one of his favorite fantasies come to life. Bella writhing and begging beneath him. He runs his nose along the top edge of her shorts and inhales deeply. “The way you smell, baby, I can’t get enough.” And he grips the fabric in his teeth, and pulls down, working her shorts all the way down her legs and off. He tosses them aside.  _

 

_ As he crawls back on top of her, he whispers, “You should never wear clothes, ever again. I want to lock you up here with only me to keep you warm.” _

 

_ She laughs out some of her built up tension, relaxing slightly until his hot form lands on top of her, and he draws her right nipple deep into his mouth. She wails. Electricity is shooting straight down to her groin. He’s running the tips of his fingers lightly along the top of her left thigh as he works her breast with his mouth. He’s sucklng deeply while he works his way closer to her center. He switches the movement of his tongue to quickly flick back and forth over her stiff peak as his fingers barely touch her lips below.  _

 

_ She can’t take much more of this teasing. She needs more. She knows he does too, since she can feel his cock weeping and throbbing against her leg. But he seems to be ignoring his own needs in favor of torturing her. He’s just barely touching her swollen, aching lips, but she’s so wet now that his fingers are covered in her essence. He rises up, letting go of her breast, to lick her flavor from his fingers. He actually moans out loud. “You taste amazing, baby.” _

 

_ He lowers his head to her other breast, leaning over and shifting his lower body so it’s no longer in direct contact with her legs. It’s almost too much for him. He can hardly keep himself from humping her thigh. The new angle affords his fingers easy access to her center, and he finally, finally, dips a finger inside her.  _

 

_ Now she’s continuously mewling and whimpering. She’s totally keyed up from his endless teasing, so it only takes a few shallow strokes of one finger, and she’s coming. The dual pleasures of his tongue on her breast and his finger in her cunt have her shaking with pleasure. She rides the wave, but he doesn’t really let her come down from it. Just as the tension in her belly is starting to unwind, he adds a second finger, thrusts deeply with his hand, and presses his thumb against her clit. She’s coming apart again, this orgasm stronger than the last. She wails and moans and thrashes under him.  _

 

_ He releases her breast from his lips and leans back so he can watch her come. Her head is thrown back, her mouth open in a continuous, keening wail, her back arched. Her breasts are jiggling with the spasms wracking her body. He shifts his gaze down to where his hand disappears into her body. She’s tight. So tight. He wants to add a third, thick digit, to prepare her little body for his even larger cock. But she’s just started to wince a little. It’s too much right now, so he releases his thumb from her clitoris, and she relaxes back into the bed.  _

 

_ She opens her eyes and looks at him in a daze as he continues to slowly pump two fingers in and out, keeping her on the edge. She’s able to form coherent words again. “So, so good. Don’t stop, please don’t stop.”  _

 

_ He leans forward to kiss her deeply until she starts to squirm against him again. “I want you to come one more time, honey, before I take you with my cock. And then I want you to come all around me, okay?” _

 

_ She nods frantically. She can’t think of any verbal response. She just knows she wants whatever he has to offer. His dirty talk has turned her on even more, if that’s possible. The idle thought occurs to her that if they ever have to spend any significant time apart, she’s going to lock herself in a soundproof room and get Jacob to have phone sex with her. It will be totally embarrassing and completely worth it. _

 

_ He slides down to settle between her legs. He shifts so that her legs rest on his shoulders. He still has two fingers buried deep inside her. She wants to watch what he’s doing, but all the teasing and her subsequent orgasms have drained her of energy. She can’t hold her head up long enough to see, so she closes her eyes and gives in to the wonderful sensations he’s giving her.  _

 

_ “I’m going to get you ready for me, honey. Is that okay?” _

 

_ All she can manage is an incoherent, “MmmmHmmmmm,” followed by an extended, “Ohhhhhhhhh,” when he strokes his hot, flat tongue against her clitoris. He starts to pump his fingers in rhythm with the stroking of his tongue, and she’s in climbing again. She’s bucking against his face and soaking his hand, and he’s so damn happy. He smiles as he flicks his tongue rapidly against her swollen nub. He feels like a god. He can’t wait to be inside her fully, but he really wants her to come one more time. He dedicates himself to the task, sucking her clit between his lips while still swirling his tongue against the tip. At the same time, he adds a third finger (fuck, she’s so tight, he can barely work it in) and curls them all, remembering how it made her lose her mind the night before. He does it once, twice, a third time, and she’s wailing, her walls clenching around his fingers, impossibly tight. It’s the longest, hardest one yet.  _

 

Abruptly, Bella wakes in the throes of a strong orgasm, crying out, pulled violently from Jacob to feel a cold hand clamped over her mouth, a hard body lying heavy on her form. What the hell is going on? Where did Jacob go? A freezing hand on her face is making it hard to breathe, and instead of a hot tongue and warm hand between her legs, Edward is crushing her into the bed, lying fully on top of her in a way he has never done before. 

 

“Shhhhh, Bella. You’re waking up your father. You have to be quiet,” Edward hisses. 

 

She tries to calm herself. It’s hard to get air in with his hand clamped over her mouth. He clearly doesn’t realize he’s blocking her nose as well. She can feel his arousal pressing into her thigh. She’s shocked on every level. He’s never allowed himself this close to her, never allowed her to feel the physical evidence of his desire for her. His whole body is rigid, and he’s staring at the door.

 

She starts to struggle beneath him. She needs him to lighten his grip so she can breathe. As she squirms beneath him, he presses his crotch more firmly into her thigh, looking pained and aroused. He suddenly releases her and disappears out the window. There’s a knock at the door. “Bells, are you okay in there?”

 

She gulps in a shaky breath of air. Her voice cracks, “Yeah dad, I just had a crazy nightmare. Sorry to wake you.”

 

He opens the door a crack. “Don’t apologize. Um, can I get you something? A glass of water? Maybe some tea so you can fall back to sleep?”

 

She accepts a glass of water. She knows Edward won’t be back while Charlie is up and about. She needs the extra time to get herself under control. She slows her breathing as she sips her water, and wonders how Jacob is doing across town.

 

She doesn’t realize that he has just slammed awake as well, sitting straight up in bed and reaching out for a warm, soft body that isn’t there.


	4. Chapter 4

X-x-x-x-X  
Tuesday morning  
X-x-x-x-X

Jacob shoots up suddenly out of bed. He’s clawing out at thin air. He’s panting. He’s disoriented. His erection puts normal morning wood to shame. He can still taste Bella on his lips. Feel her wet heat clenching around his fingers. He wants to go back. He’s tempted to run across town, crawl up her window, and pin her down to finish what they started. His body aches to press against hers. 

Instead he settles for trying to determine what woke him from his dream. He listens carefully. Billy is still asleep; he can hear steady breathing from his father’s bedroom. No wolves howl outside. He carefully sniffs the air. There’s no trace of burning, oversweet decay and bleach in his nose. The phone is silent. So basically, nothing at all woke him up. 

He sighs heavily. At least this time he didn’t come all over his own bedsheets. It spares him the extra chore of doing a load of laundry, anyway, and the embarrassment of Billy noticing him washing his sheets two days in a row. Billy’s not stupid. He’d know exactly why his hormonal, teenaged son would wash his bedding again, and it’s not due to some newfound dedication to cleanliness. He lies still and tries to will his erection away. He tries to focus on the pain of his injuries to make his arousal fade. It doesn’t work. He wants to pick up his dream right where it left off. He was just getting to the good part. She was coming, again, with overwhelming force. He was going to give her a few minutes to recover, and then he was going to finally, finally, slide his cock in. All the way.

Okay, this isn’t helping at all. He gives up and heads for the shower. There’s only one way to get rid of his erection. He stands under the hot spray and allows the water to relax his overtaxed muscles. He braces himself against the tile with his left hand, and takes himself in hand with his right. He loses himself in the memory of the night before. He pictures himself tracing her most sensitive spots. His tongue swirling on the backs of her knees, tracing along her flanks. He grips himself hard. He groans aloud, thinking of the soft skin where her neck meets her shoulder, and that spot behind her ear. He pumps his shaft, pausing to smooth his precum over his sensitive head. He remembers flipping her over and teasing along her chest and arms, finally taking her nipple into his mouth and sliding his fingers into her body. His balls tighten against him, and he reaches down with his other hand to fondle them. Her cries of pleasure ring in his memory, and that’s it. He’s coming hard, hot jets emptying uselessly down the drain.

Later in the morning, he makes his way to Sam’s house for another pack meeting. Emily greets him at the door with a warm smile, a soft hug, and two huge blueberry muffins. He’s the last one there. Everyone has arrived except Embry, who is currently running patrol. Their voices are low and concerned.

“It only came up the shore a few feet. Like it basically stepped out, looked around, and decided to head directly back into the water,” Brady is explaining. 

Quil chimes in, “We checked absolutely everywhere. The only other trails we found were all old and stale.”

Sam questions, “What about the trees? We’ve lost them up there before.”

“Dude, we really looked everywhere. Embry and Collin came to help out, and we must have climbed, like, two hundred trees yesterday. No fresh trails except the one on the shore.”

“Anybody hear how that guy is doing? The one you pulled out of the water?” asks Paul.

Sam nods. “Chief Swan said he’s fine. Didn’t even have to stay the night at the hospital. He doesn’t know anything useful, apparently, which is probably a good thing for his sake.” He turns to Brady. “Good job, man. That guy’s alive because of you.”

Brady ducks his head. He’s still just a kid, really, despite the crazy turn his life has recently taken. He would probably be blushing if his skin was light enough to show it, “I don’t think I actually did anything, though. It’s not like I dove into the water and wrestled the vampire away.”

Jared adds, “You scared it away, Brady, and so you saved that guy’s life. May as well take credit where it’s due.”

Jacob can tell that Brady is still embarrassed, so he switches the subject. “So who do we think it was? I know what I saw yesterday, and I also know that the bitch is already dead. Anybody have any ideas?”

Seth sticks his hand up like he’s in school. “After everything calmed down, I went down to the beach. The scent definitely doesn’t belong to the vampire I helped tear apart last week. It’s something different, but it did seem familiar.”

Sam nods. “There were so many leeches at that battle last week that it was nearly impossible to distinguish all their scents, but I agree that this one smells sort of familiar. It must have gotten away from us somehow, and is still sticking around for some reason.”

Paul is staring out the window. “How the hell are we supposed to cover the ocean? We can’t exactly phase into sharks and dive into the water.”

“Tell me about it,” Quil mutters.

Paul turns to him, incredulous. “Oh my god, that’s what you were trying to do last night?” He barks in laughter. “When I phased in to patrol last night, I sensed this moron doggy paddling in the ocean. I thought you were just trying to see if you could find a trace of the rogue vamp!”

“Hey!” Quil defends himself, “We’re not actually werewolves, right? We’re supposed to be shapeshifters, aren’t we? So in theory we should be able to turn into something else, shouldn’t we?” Everyone else is howling with laughter and clutching their sides. Quil yells, “It was worth a shot!”

Sam is trying to hold in his laughter. “You need to pay more attention when Billy tells the legends, man.” After several minutes of everyone ragging on Quil, he tries to get the pack to focus. “But seriously, anyone have any suggestions about how to protect the water? We can concentrate our patrols along the shore, but we can’t exactly run along the beach in midday in wolf form, or keep people out of the water.”

“Maybe we can,” Jacob breaks in. Everyone turns to look at him. “Beaches get closed for all kinds of reasons. Bad weather, chemical spills, jellyfish attacks. A few years back, my sisters went to Florida for Spring break. They came home all pissed because the beaches were closed because of a red tide. Something about toxic algae blooms, and no one was allowed to go swimming. We can fake a report like that, get the council to put some kind of temporary restriction on swimming, until we can catch this vampire.”

“How are we going to make the water red?” Quil asks.

Jared rolls his eyes. “I don’t think red tides are always actually red, dude. And anyway, who’s going to argue with the council? Some under cover marine biologist is going to show up at the beach with a microscope and tell us we’re wrong?”

Sam ends the discussion. “It’s a great idea. I’ll get the council to do it. And I’ll see if the Cullens can meet up at the treaty line tonight. We’re due for an update. I want to know if they’ve been holding back any info on this latest threat.”

The meeting breaks up and turns into a free-for-all of Emily's kitchen. It only takes minutes for the pack to decimate three hours of her labor. Jacob stops to thank her. "Em, the food was amazing as usual. Did we leave anything behind for you guys to have for dinner?"

"As a matter of fact, no," she laughs. "I'm headed to the store in a few minutes. I should get you guys to build me a warehouse in the back yard. I'll order food wholesale and get 18 wheelers to deliver right to my front door."

"Do you want a hand with the shopping? I can't patrol yet since I can't phase again for a bit, and Billy doesn't need me for a few hours."

"Really? That would be great, Jake. I usually need two carts to get everything, and when I'm alone it's really awkward to drag them both around. Are you sure it's not too much trouble?"

Truth be told, it's a welcome distraction. He's sure that left to his own devices, the only thing he'll accomplish is a lot more brooding over Bella Swan. Or, worse yet, lusting after Bella Swan. Probably both simultaneously. "It’s really the least I can do, Em. You take such good care of us." He grins, "And I have an ulterior motive. Seeing as I'm likely to partake in the results of your shopping, I can influence the choice of purchases and come back to enjoy them later."

While Sam gathers the council to seek a restriction on swimming at the beach, Jacob and Emily head to the store to restock her pantry. 

"How are you holding up, Jake?" she asks gently. 

"Sore, but I'll live. I just need to avoid phasing a bit longer."

"I heard you re-broke a couple bones yesterday. Did you see the doctor?"

He looks startled and shakes his head. "I don't plan to unless it's absolutely necessary."

"You'll get better, I know you will." They both understand she's not talking about his body anymore. Jacob isn’t entirely convinced, but Emily is. It will just take time. She’s not at all sure that Bella Swan will figure out just how much better Jake is suited to her than her own fiance, but she is sure that Jake will make it through this heartbreak. It’s just not in his nature to break down.

He distracts her by insisting on paying for the groceries. She tries to stop him, but he knows that Sam and Emily don't have a lot to spare. Neither does he, of course, but he's only trying to keep one hungry werewolf fed on his budget, not the entire pack. "Nuh uh, Em. You do all the work, and don't pretend like it's nothing. Plus, you and I know that this doesn't even cover one month's worth of the food I eat out of your kitchen." 

Emily thinks to herself that Jacob really is a catch. Too bad Bella Swan is too wrapped up in Edward Cullen to see it. But she won’t judge. She, of all people, knows that you can’t always help whom you love.

The shopping trip doesn't take up nearly as much time as Jacob had hoped. He finds himself with most of the afternoon and evening stretching out in front of him, with little to fill it other than thoughts of his Bells. He only has two tasks to complete for the rest of the day. He should cook dinner for himself and Billy (but cooking always reminds him of Bella), and his bike needs a new clutch cable and a tune up (but working on his bike always reminds him of Bella).

Morosely, he looks in his refrigerator to realize that he spent the past two hours shopping, but brought no food home. There’s not much to make other than jarred spaghetti. At least there’s one more pack of ground chuck in the freezer, so he can have some meat sauce. He defrosts it in the microwave, browns it, and sets the sauce to simmering. 

Now the only thing left to do is work on his bike. He manages to keep his thoughts neutral while replacing the clutch cable, but feels drained by the time he’s done. He hasn’t done anything taxing today, but trying not to think about Bella is sapping his energy. He’s probably also using extra energy in the process of knitting together his broken bones. A few weeks before, he had dragged a slightly broken, hand-me-down loveseat into the garage. It’s collapsing in the middle, and the color has faded from a bright blue to an uneven gray. It’s never looked so inviting. He lowers his frame into it slowly. He’ll just sit for a few minutes, and then he’ll replace the fluids in the motorcycle.

Three hours later, Billy comes looking for him. It’s not like Jake to skip a meal. His father finds his large frame sprawled across the small seat. Falling out of it, really. Billy wonders why Jake even bothered with the chair. It’s small enough that he may as well have just lay a few blankets on the ground; it would be more comfortable. He’s tempted to get a quilt and tuck his boy in, but realizes how silly it is, with Jake’s skin so hot. He turns off the light in the garage and wheels back into his house.


	5. Chapter 5

X-x-x-x-X

Tuesday

X-x-x-x-X

 

Bella still hasn’t gotten over the humiliating manner in which she awoke. It’s dually horrifying that she not only alerted her fiance to the content of her dream, but she was apparently so loud that she even managed to wake her father down the hall. At least she had had enough nightmares in the past year that he really did seem convinced when she lied to him about why she had been screaming.

 

Edward, on the other hand, was not so easily fooled. His reaction simultaneously thrills her, scares her, and confuses her. She has spent their entire relationship feeling a bit rejected, longing and disappointment filling her every time he pulls away from a heated embrace. She has long wished for him to release some of his tightly held control. He has always explained that his walls were constructed for her safety, but she never really understood it until now. She is glad to know that her body does produce a lustful reaction in him. She even feels a bit triumphant to have finally produced an erection in him. But his hold over her mouth and nose was genuinely frightening. It was actually quite difficult to breathe, and he clearly didn’t realize. This is one of the only times she can recall that he was not in complete control of himself. It’s what she’s been waiting for, isn’t it?

 

On the other hand, maybe the dreams are a blessing in disguise. It can be like exposure therapy for patients with phobias. He can gradually acclimate himself to her sexual self in this manner before the wedding.

 

All the same, she finds herself relieved when he doesn’t reappear in her window later in the morning. In fact, she hasn’t seen him all day. She spends another day bored at Newton’s. It has been the kind of day that is usually followed with Edward insisting, again, to pay any and all expenses she has, basically until the end of time. It still makes her feel uncomfortable. She has been able to fend off his request for her to quit her job by explaining that it would look suspicious to Charlie, who thinks she is paying at least part of her way through college.

 

What she doesn’t say out loud is that Charlie and Renee have raised her not to take handouts, and despite not really liking her job, she likes the independence it affords her, and the knowledge that she is supporting herself. Secretly, the Cullens’ wealth makes her uncomfortable. She’s still not clear on where most of it comes from. Carlisle’s job at the hospital confers a hefty salary, but is not so great as to support their lavish lifestyle. Which means that most of it probably comes from Alice’s visions, and therefore the stock market. Bella feels like it should be illegal, except who would ever write such a ridiculous law?

 

By the time Charlie gets home in the evening, he has apparently forgotten all about last night’s awakening. She’s not about to bring it up, so they share a companionable meal. She is a bit on edge all evening long, wondering when Edward will make his appearance. She hasn’t heard from him all day.

 

The closer it gets to bedtime, the more nervous Bella becomes. She has had the most enticing, vivid, and erotic dreams of her life for the past two nights running. Dreams that don't include her fiancé.

 

Will tonight be the same? She feels silly, working herself up in nervous anticipation of a likely non-event. Part of her is worried that Edward will probably be exposed to another challenging night trying to hold himself still in her room. The bigger part of her is secretly looking forward to another wonderful dream.

 

That doesn’t stop her from being scared that she will call out Jacob’s name in her sleep. She has absolutely no control over that. And if Edward realizes she’s dreaming of his enemy, how will he respond? So far he has been aroused but intrigued. But he was also unintentionally frightening enough the night before, and she is confident that he had no idea she was dreaming about Jacob.

 

Those nervous thoughts swirling around her mind keep her awake for quite a while. But eventually her fatigue overcomes her. She slips into slumber just as Edward is entering her window. She faintly senses him seating himself in her rocking chair just before she fades away, thinking that it probably is best that he not try to lie in her bed tonight.

 

_ She will go to him tonight. She can’t quite remember what interrupted them the night before, but knows they have unfinished business. In fact, the events of her entire day are rather fuzzy in her mind, as if the waking hours were just a dream. She is actually no longer sure which events are real. The only thing she's certain of is Jacob. _

 

_ She opens the front door to his house and tiptoes to his bedroom. She can hear Billy snoring lightly down the hall, but where is Jacob? His bedroom door is wide open, and the room is empty. Perhaps he’s on patrol? He’s not supposed to phase again so soon after his injuries. She resolves not to leave without finding him, even if it means wandering the beach in the middle of the night. _

 

_ She steals out to the garage. She has low expectations since there is no light coming from within, but he has incredibly sharp vision. The moon is bright in the sky tonight. Maybe he just doesn’t need extra light. Her eyes are not as good as his. She stands in the doorway to the garage, blinking until her vision adjusts to the darkness. Even before she can see him, she can sense him somewhere in the room. She can hear him breathe, slow and even. _

 

_ When she can finally see, he is sprawled across a small loveseat. He really doesn't fit, and it makes her smile. He is completely out. She clears her throat, but he doesn't stir at all. It gives her a chance to really look at him. _

 

_ He is wearing his usual outfit of denim cutoffs and nothing else. His long, thickly muscled legs are sticking out in front of him, and he has slid down in the seat at an angle, his upper body resting in the corner of the seat, his right arm propped beneath the back of his skull, the left flung over the back of the chair. Even completely relaxed, the muscles in his shirt and arms are prominent and defined. He looks positively enticing. His full lips are slightly parted, and his long lashes brush against the top of his cheeks. She wants to feel them tickle her skin. _

 

_ She approaches him slowly, fully intending to wake him with her lips on his skin. She's trying to figure out where to start, his chest or his mouth, when instead, she trips over a loose cord on the ground and lands directly in top of him with a great, "Oof." Great. So much for her plans of seduction. _

 

_ She brushes her hair out of her face as she feels him wrap his arms around her middle. “Well, hello there,” he coughs in surprise. _

 

_ “Um, that’s not what I meant to do.” She is blushing, and he can see it even in the dark. He loves it. It’s adorable, for one, and better yet, it’s proof of the lifeblood still running through her veins. _

 

_ “You’re here. That’s all that matters.” He pulls her more tightly against him. “Where’d you go? All of a sudden, you were just gone.” _

 

_ She frowns and tries to remember. She can recall with perfect clarity his hands on her body, his lips and tongue sweetly stroking, and her whole body flushes. But whatever happened next, she can barely remember. She thinks it has something to do with Edward. And her father? She grasps at the memory, but it’s gone. “I really don’t know, but right now I’m exactly where I want to be.” _

 

_ He grins. “Damn straight, you are. In my arms, where you belong.” The grin turns into a lascivious smirk. “Wanna see how much closer you can get?” _

 

_ She leans up to kiss him, lightly brushing her lips against his own, before whispering against his mouth, “Yes, please.” _

 

_ He scoots up so he’s sitting upright, winds his left arm around her waist to pull her in so she’s straddling him fully, and winds his right hand through her hair. He brings her in for a deep, luscious kiss. He growls low in his chest when rakes her nails against his scalp, burying her hands in his own thick hair. He wants to feel her nails scratching his back as he thrusts deep within her. _

 

_ He’s immediately hard and straining against her. She can feel him through their layers of clothing. His heat, and the proof of his desire for her, stimulates a response from deep within her. She loves how passionately he responds to her. In her normal life, she feels ordinary at best. Lucky, blessed even, to have the attention of her picture-perfect fiancé. Placed upon a pedestal where she doesn't belong. She's not worthy. And It's one of the reasons she wants to be turned. So she can finally fit into the life she has chosen. _

 

_ But here in Jacob's arms, Bella Swan feels sexy. Jacob knows her better than anyone else in the world. Better than Edward, better than Charlie, better than Renee, better even than she knows herself. He knows her mind, her spirit, and now he knows her body as well. And the more he knows her, the real her, the more he wants her. Here, in the darkness of his garage, wrapped in his embrace, in the place that feels like home more than anywhere else in the world, she's ready to give herself to him. _

 

_ But first, she wants to get to know him a little better. The night before, he took the time to intimately acquaint himself with the contours of her body. Tonight she wants to learn his. _

 

_ She starts with his handsome face. She copies his movements from the night before, placing tiny kisses across his forehead, down the bridge of his nose, and across his eyelids. She loves the sensation of his eyelashes fluttering on her cheeks just as much as she thought she would. She pauses to nuzzle along his high cheekbones, and brushes her lips against his. He tries to pull her in for more, but she moves aside to kiss along his jawline. She moves down to discover a sensitive spot underneath his chin, and grins in triumph when he sucks a sharp breath in. She wants to find every spot on his body that makes him gasp. _

 

_ She steps off him and he frowns. "Where do you think you're going?" _

 

_ She recalls his words from the night before. "Patience, honey. We'll get there, I promise. There's so much of you that I want to explore." He grins in recollection and leans back to give her access. _

 

_ She shakes her head and takes him by the hand, tugging him forward off the seat. "Kneel," she orders. _

 

_ He arches a brow, but obeys. "I think I could get used to you ordering me around. And the view from down here is pretty nice, but it would be even better if you were naked," he teases. _

 

_ He’s better at seductive banter than she is. She wants to say something sexy in response, but can’t think of anything suitable, so she just arches her brow back at him and turns him so that he’s sitting on the floor between her legs. She’ll let her touch do the talking for her. _

 

_ She starts by gently massaging his shoulders. He relaxes, and she kneads more deeply, pressing as hard as she can. His head drops forward. He has knots in his trapezius muscles, and she works them all out one by one, placing soft kisses behind. She indulges in staring at the prominent muscles of his back, and wonders that this is the same gangly boy she grew up with. He’s changed so much, and yet so little. Life keeps throwing impossible and overwhelming situations at him. He responds by squaring his now broad shoulders, drawing upon some apparently endless inner well of strength, and turning directly to face the new threat head on. She doesn’t know how he does it and still keeps his sunny Jacob smile on his face. _

 

_ She is glad that she can bring him some comfort and respite from the chaos his life has become. Since he can apparently read her mind, he softly says, “You make me so happy, Bells. That feels so good.” _

 

_ She works her way down his back, slowly working each knot away into submission. When he’s good and relaxed, she lightens her touch to almost a tickle. After all, she did start this to find out where his most sensitive spots are. She discovers that he is most responsive to light touches on either side of his spine. _

 

_ Next she moves to his arms. She kneads along his biceps and his triceps, tracing out their well-defined outlines. She takes special care to be gentle along the entire right arm. She discovers that the inside of his elbows are just as sensitive as hers. She draws his arm up so she can massage both his hands and each of his fingers in turn, and ends by taking his sensitive index finger into her mouth and suckling gently, previewing her intentions for the evening to come. His breathing turns from even and relaxed to raspy and broken, and she knows he’s hooked. _

 

_ She tugs him back up so that he is sitting back in the seat, and she moves to kneel between his legs. His pupils dilate as he takes in her position. She looks submissive, but they both know that right now, she holds all the power. She sits back on her heels and takes his left calf in her hands, and massages the muscles deeply. She takes his foot in her hand and uses her thumbs to press into his sole, and he wiggles his toes in pleasure, but when she lightens her touch he squirms until he laughs out loud and jerks away. Apparently, he’s quite ticklish there. She files the information away for later. She’s sure it’ll come in handy eventually. She switches to the right side and repeats the massage, but more gently again in deference to his injuries, and doesn’t torture his right foot with tickles. _

 

_ She places her hands on his knees and moves up, now kneeling higher so she can access his stomach. His upper body is mesmerizing. It took her an awfully long time to notice just how well developed he had become, but now that she's noticed, she can't help but stop and stare every time he has his shirt off. Which is most of the time. The last time she stopped to lavish attention on this part of his body, he was asleep, and she only traced along his musculature with her fingers. This time she thinks she'll use her tongue. She starts along his hipbones, dropping kisses along the border. His shorts are still in her way, so she doesn't get very far. _

 

_ Now that she's so close to where he really wants her to go, Jacob can barely keep himself in check. His erection is hot and heavy and pointed at an uncomfortable angle in his pants, and he really wants to take them off. But he doesn't want to push Bella too far, nor be presumptuous about her intentions, so he decides he can live with the discomfort for as long as he has to. After all, he's been waiting for Bella Swan for nearly his whole life, so what's a few minutes more? It's the most exquisite torture. _

 

_ She's outlining each one of his abdominal muscles with her tongue, and he can't believe this is finally happening. He's vaguely aware that something strange is going on. He recalls with detailed precision each moment he's spent with her (and oh, what moments they are), but everything else is just on the edge of his memory, niggling at him but refusing to come clear. Perhaps if he pulled her to her feet and sat her down for a real discussion, they could piece together the events of their day. But stopping her would go down as the stupidest thing he'd ever done. _

 

_ Instead, he focuses on the tip of her small, pink tongue peeking out from between her soft, parted lips. She's lapping at him like a cat, puffs of her breath tingling on the wet path she's left behind, and the tingling sensation is driving him out of his mind. _

 

_ She shifts upward and puts her warm, soft hands on his pectorals. She traces his clavicle and finds that it is even more ticklish there than hers. When she dips her tongue in the hollow of his throat, he involuntarily bucks beneath her and she grins. She explores the rest of his neck, finding that the whole area is an erogenous zone. His hands are gripping her hips tightly, pulling her flush against him, and she feels him vibrating beneath her in an attempt to hold still. Finally she moves up to trace her tongue along the edge of his ear, producing a throaty moan from him that she has not heard before. She gently grasps his earlobe between her teeth and tugs, bringing out a whimper. _

 

_ He doesn't know how much more of this he can take. The night before was wonderful, but also amounted to a big tease for him when it ended so abruptly, and she had fallen asleep the night before. So in addition to being more aroused than he has ever been, he's also nervous that something is about to bring their night together to an unpleasant end. And he simply has to be inside her tonight. Preferably soon. Or best yet, right fucking now. _

 

_ He doesn't want to hurt her, or scare her, or force her. But she's moving at a snail's pace over his body. So he settles on begging, "Please, baby, please," as he squirms underneath her. _

 

_ She sits up with a mischievous grin. "In a bit if a rush now, are we?" _

 

_ He pouts in response, so she leans forward to take the offending lip between her teeth and nips him gently. It brings forth another whimper. She kisses him more deeply, and runs her fingernails across his small, dark nipples. He jerks beneath her. She wonders if they're as sensitive as her own, so she decides she needs to find out before she goes any further. She bends to lick circles around the edge, and he groans. She laves her tongue over the entire thing, and he hums. She decides to add her teeth, gently, and he hisses in pleasure. So she bites down a bit more firmly. _

 

_ "Oh, fuck... Yes, Bella." He bucks up again, rocking into her core. Apparently Jake likes it a little bit rough. She suspects she will as well. She scoots back down to kneel between his knees again. _

 

_ She briefly considers doing something brash and bold and totally unlike her, and popping the button of his shorts and lowering the zipper with her teeth. But this would probably somehow end up with her chipping her tooth or catching her lip in the zipper, so she decides against such a rash course of action and settles for using her fingers instead. She looks up at him to realize that no matter how his pants come off, as long as they come off, he'll be a happy man. There's probably not much she could do at this point to upset him, other than biting him where it counts, or just getting up to leave. Instead, she hooks her fingers in his belt loops and tugs. He raises his hips to help her, and she pulls them off and away. _

 

_ Bella is pretty sure that she’s going to be a little stunned every time she sees him fully, no matter how many times that may be. His girth, his length, are intimidating. But he’ll be less intimidating if she can figure out what to do with him. She starts by taking him in her hand. The last time she got touched him, he seemed to like having both her hands on him at once, so she tries that, and slowly pumps up and down. The movement isn’t that smooth until she takes his precum and spreads it around. He gasps as if he can’t get enough air. She repeats the motion again and again, until she remembers how nice he tasted when she tried him before. _

 

_ She takes a deep breath to steady herself, and leans forward to lick him like an ice cream cone.  _ _ He grips the arms of the loveseat so hard that he’s about to tear the upholstery. _

 

_ “I don’t know what I’m doing, Jake,” she whispers. _

 

_ “Unnhhh... You’re doing great,” he mumbles. _

 

_ “Tell me? So I do it right?” She keeps pumping. _

 

_ “Oh God... Oh shit... Okay.” He takes in a heaving breath. “Lick the head.” _

 

_ She complies. “Mmmph... Keep stroking the base while you do that... Ohhhhhhhhhhh,” he sighs. He wraps his fingers through her hair and tries to resist the urge to shove her head down onto him. “Hold me tigher. Oh God... Yeah like... Just like that.” _

 

_ “Um, now put more of your mouth on me, around the head.” She does so, and hums involuntarily. She thinks she’s starting to get the hang of this, and sucks on him in rhythm with her strokes, licking her tongue in wide swaths. _

 

_ “Shit. Hold my balls with... with... unhh... your other...” He trails off when she figures out what he means, _ _ which results in a noise from his throat that sounds like he’s being strangled. He’d be embarrassed about it if he wasn’t so damn happy. _

 

_ He can’t talk any more, even if he wanted to. But he has no further instructions, no more words. At this point, it would only be thankyouthankyouthankyou and yesssssssssssssssss. _

 

_ She’s bobbing up and down on his cock, taking him in as far as she can go (which isn’t very far since he’s so big, and she’s not up for trying to suppress her gag reflex just yet). He doesn’t seem disappointed in the least. She was awfully nervous when she first started this, but he’s clearly so, so pleased that she finally relaxes enough to let herself get turned on. Because this is really, truly arousing. She can feel herself getting wet and swollen as she laps at him. Now she understands why he kept insisting on making her come again and again last night. It wasn’t just his natural generosity. Making her get off made him get off too. _

 

_ She’s enthusiastic now, pausing to swirl and lick and kiss. She loves it. He loves it. He loves her. He stares down at her, difficult though it may be to keep his eyes open, because he’s not missing a second of this. She is so fucking hot bobbing her sweet, soft lips up and down his shaft, her small, delicate hands gripping his base perfectly. _

 

_ He wants it to last as long as possible. This is, bar none, the best experience of his life so far, so he’s in no rush to get it over with. But she’s just too damn good at what she’s doing. He’s losing control despite himself. He’s managing not to thrust into her throat, and somehow hasn’t yanked on her hair or held her head down, so there’s not much reserve left for him to hold out. Plus, he’s confident that he’ll still be hard after this, no matter how hard his orgasm will be, and he will happily bury himself in her sweet pussy after he comes in her hand (or -please- in her mouth, or on her face if she doesn’t pull back quickly enough). Hopefully having an orgasm first will mean he can last longer when he’s in her. _

 

_ Between watching her, and feeling her, and thinking about the sex he hopes to be having with her moments from now, his last shreds of control are slipping away. “Bells... Unhhh... Honey... Unhhh... I’m gonna... I’m gonna... You don’t... Unhhh... have to...” _

 

_ She feels triumphant. She’s made the loquacious, cocky Jacob Black into a blubbering, incoherent mess. She’s feeling generous, and more than that, curious. She wants to know what he tastes like. So she hums her recognition of his mumblings, and draws his cock as deep as she can stand, strokes with her tongue and hands, and sucks hard. He howls. And he’s coming... and coming... and coming into her throat, head thrown back, back arched, hands buried in her hair but somehow still not pulling or pushing. Apparently Jacob tastes like salt and hazelnuts. Surprisingly pleasant, she thinks to herself as she swallows. _

 

_ He doesn’t shrink in her mouth like she expects, so she keeps hold of him until he pulls her up. He’s gasping and sighing and sweating and he looks positively blissful. “Doesn’t it, um, go down now?” she asks. _

 

_ He chuckles. “I think they normally do, but not mine. Not now, not after what you just did.” He lifts his head up to look her straight in the eye. “What you just did, Bells, was amazing.” He pulls her to straddle him and brings her in for a hot, open-mouthed kiss. The taste of his essence on her tongue makes him hot all over again, so he wraps his arms around her to center her right over his cock and refuses to let go of her lips. _

 

_ The pressure of him right up against her core is stimulating, and the seam of her cotton pants rubs deliciously on her clitoris in this position. So she rocks and rocks above him, relishing the contact. Eventually he pulls back and says, “You’re wearing too many clothes.” _

 

_ So she leans back and whips her tank top over her head. He grabs her before she can stand to remove her pants, and sucks her left breast directly into his mouth and starts to hum. There’s no more going slowly tonight. She needs him, and he needs her, so he gently works her nipple with his teeth while flicking with his tongue, and she’s immediately ready for more. _

 

_ He agrees to let her up just long enough to tug her pants off, and she settles right back on him again. She lands in such a way that the head of her cock presses up against her clitoris. She was planning on lowering herself onto his cock fully, but the feeling of him on her clit is too good to pass up, so she starts to rock on him. He won’t let go of her lips long enough for her to say anything, but he figures out what she’s doing quickly enough and tilts his pelvis so his cock rubs up against her clitoris at just the right angle. _

 

_ Now she’s the one moaning and whimpering, and he’s the one who feels like he has all the power despite being seated beneath her. They drag against each other several more times. Then he wets his thumb with his large tongue, and rubs it up against her nipple, and asks “Wanna come, baby?” _

 

_ Her arousal, climbing high already, shoots up at his words, and she pleads an assent. So he thrusts his cock hard against her clit, pinches her nipples with both hands, and she orgasms, screaming his name. _

 

“Jaaaaake!”

 

She hears a crash, and sits up confused in her own bed. Edward, in his haste and surprise, has knocked her rocking chair over, slamming it into her desk. He’s jumped out the window and is staring at her with wide eyes, crouching in the tree outside her window. She hasn’t seen him look so agonized since she went to rescue him in Volterra. But he’s only there for a fraction of a second, and then he is gone.


	6. Chapter 6

X-x-x-x-X  
Wednesday  
X-x-x-x-X

Damn it, not again. This is getting to be absolutely ridiculous. At least today's mess is all on his own body and shorts, which are easily washed. He sighs and heaves himself up. He tentatively stretches, and finds that his aches and pains are nearly gone. Maybe he could get away with phasing today. He heads into the house, where Billy is thankfully still asleep, momentarily debating between food and bathing. He missed dinner last night, and can't remember the last time he was so hungry, but heads into the shower. He bathes efficiently. The sooner he's done, the sooner he can eat. When he emerges he sees that Billy left a mixing bowl full of last night's leftover spaghetti in the refrigerator for him. He momentarily debates about eating it cold, he's so hungry, but it's really unappealing that way. He can spare two minutes to microwave it.

Billy emerges just as he's washing his bowl. "Turned in early last night, huh? You must be getting old, son," he teases. "What's on the docket for today?"

"Morning, Dad. Well, I didn't finish working on my bike last night. Guess I must have fallen asleep. It shouldn't take long, and then I'd better head to the store unless we want ice cubes dipped in mustard for dinner. Then I think I'll head over to Bella's and she if she wants to talk." It's out of his mouth before it has even made its way through his brain. He wasn't actually planning on it, but now that he’s spoken the words, he knows he has to. He has to see if there is anything way he can change her mind. It's not too late; she's still human. He won't be able to live with himself if she dies. He will always wonder if there was anything else he could have done.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bella spends the morning agonizing over Edward. After fleeing from her room, he still hasn't returned. She has called Alice’s phone and the Cullens' home, and no one seems to know where he is. She's terrified he will leave her because of her betrayal. She wishes she had some modicum of control of her dreams, but it's impossible. They have forced her to face a truth about herself. She lusts after Jacob. Her body obviously wants him. And she has already figured out how guilty she feels about hurting him. She knows she wants him in her life, that she does love him, but it’s not enough. She has resolved not to hurt him any longer by stringing him along any more. He's better off if she stays out of his way. But she still longs for his presence. For his warmth and his easy smile. She has enough self-awareness to have figured that out. She reasons that her subconscious is combining her attraction to him, her missing him, and her desire to comfort him into highly inappropriate dreams.

But it can't be more than that, can it? Yes, she loves him, but not as much as she loves Edward. She has made her decision, and she's sticking with it. She's getting married in a few weeks. This is just cold feet, on a subconscious level. She refuses to admit to that it’s anything more. Now she just has to find Edward to apologize, and hope that he forgives her. First she just has to slog through another shift at Newton's. And then she needs to convince herself that she’s doing the right thing, because her dreams of Jacob feel more real to her than anything else in her life, save Jacob himself. 

When she gets home from work, she finds a stack of fabric samples and catalogues from Alice, with a note attached in Alice’s bubbly handwriting. I think I know what you want already, but the fun is all in the choosing! Let me know what you think. Love, Alice. She rolls her eyes and puts them aside. She simply does not care about any of this. And Alice admitted already that she knows what Bella will choose. So why go through all this trouble?

She is startled by a knock on the door, and opens it to find a UPS delivery man on the other side. He looks bored and rushed, and runs off before she signs for the package. Perplexed, she closes the door behind him and examines the box. It’s for Charlie. She turns to set it in the kitchen when there is another knock at the door. It must be the delivery guy realizing he needs her signature.

But it’s not the delivery man. It’s Jacob Black, and he’s leaning against the entryway of her porch, unintentionally looking scrumptious. Her eyes widen, and she looks confused, and looks past him. “Expecting someone else?” he asks.

“Where did the UPS guy go? Where’s his truck?” 

He arches a brow, “I can go put on some brown short shorts and a tight polo on, if you want. But there’s no one out here but me. There’s not even a wolf out here right now. I came in between patrols.”

She flushes, and he grins. He loves making her blush. “No, a delivery guy just dropped off a package for Charlie. I forgot to sign for it.” She’s still rather concerned. Where did he go? There’s no way he’s driven off already. She’s only stepped away from the door for a few seconds.

“Oh, I doubt those signatures really matter. He’ll be back if he really needs it. Um, can I come in?” She’s still blocking the door, peeking behind him.

“Yeah, sure.” She steps out of the way, still flushed. She wants to put as much distance as possible between his body and hers. He’s only standing there, innocently enough, making no move for her, and she can feel her body responding to his. It’s totally inappropriate. She’s engaged to another man.

His expression has turned serious, in response to the expression on her face. He opens his mouth to speak, but she stops him before he can get any further. 

“I know why you’re here, Jake.”

He looks a bit surprised, but lets her continue. 

“I can’t give you what you want. You should go.” Her voice is barely a whisper. She needs to get him to leave before she gives in, before she destroys everything she’s worked so hard for. “It’s too much right now. You should leave.”

“No, Bella,” he states firmly, “You and I are meant for each other. I know it.”

There is truth in his words, and she knows it. “Maybe in another life, Jake, but not in this one.” She’s trying to hold her tears in. “If we were meant to be, you’d have imprinted on me.”

And there’s the crux of the matter. The ridiculous, mystical, inexplicable force that he hates, that goes against everything he stands for, is ruining his life. And it hasn’t even happened to him. “I love you, Bella. I always will. Nothing can change that.”

She looks devastated. “Sam loved Leah too, didn’t he? They were going to get married.”

Now he’s angry. “I’m not Sam, and you’re not Leah. What I feel for you, Bells, goes beyond what they had. It’s more. It’s forever. I know it.” His teeth are gritted together in frustration and conviction. He’s dead serious, and shaking his head. “I could walk away, I could accept it, if I thought you’d actually be happy. I know he has a lot to offer. I know I can’t take you to Paris or Rome on a whim. I can’t buy you a fancy car or a big house. I can’t pay for whichever fancy college you want to go to, or pull the strings so you get in anywhere you want. But I can make you happy, Bells. You know I can.”

She struggles to find words. “Those things, the money, the things, you know that’s not why I’m with him, Jake. I love him.”

He looks pained. “I know you do, honey. I even know he loves you too, as much as he’s able. But that wasn’t the question. Does he make you happy, Bells? Really, honestly happy?” He’s looking her straight in the eye, and she can’t turn away from his piercing gaze.

Edward makes her feel intoxicated. Makes her feel giddy. Makes her feel lucky and blessed to have his attention. And now that he’s been a part of her life, he feels inevitable. A force of nature. The defining point in her life. Her voice is barely audible, “I... I... I can’t live without him.”

Gently, in soothing tones, Jacob tells her, “You have, though. For years before you met him, and for months after. And you can, for years to come. It doesn’t even have to be with me, Bella. If you don’t want me, I’ll step aside. Go to college, meet a nice guy, make a career, start a family. Give Charlie and Renee a bunch of grandbabies. You’ll be a wonderful mother, Bella, if you want to be. I’ll step aside and watch you grow up and be happy for you, even though I’ll miss you every minute of every day. But living with him is no life at all. It’s an existence, I know it is, but it’s also death, Bella.”

She can’t speak. She has no response. When Edward left, she didn’t just feel like there was a hole in her chest. It was as if he took her very essence with him. He took the thing that made her her. If he leaves her again, she’s terrified that the hole will come back. She’s nothing without him. And in order to be with him, to make a life with him, to fully deserve him, she needs to be like him. She needs to become a vampire. She says none of this, but Jake knows exactly what she’s thinking. The irony doesn’t escape her, that Edward can read every mind but hers like an open book but finds her impenetrable, while Jacob always knows exactly what she’s thinking.

“You’re a whole person, Bella, just the way you are. You are such a wonderful, whole person, with or without him. Love shouldn’t make you feel inadequate, Bells. It shouldn’t make you feel like you’re not enough. Maybe it should make you want to be the best person that you can be, but it should never make you feel like you’re not complete in and of yourself.”

She sobs, “But I’m not, Jake. You remember what I was like when he left the last time. I can’t go through that again. I can’t do it again. It broke me, Jake, and the only reason I came out the other side was you.”

Softly, simply, he states, “So be with me, Bella. We’ll do it together. But you’re wrong, you know. You’re whole without him, Bella. The only thing he took with him when he left was your sense of self worth, and the fantasy of a hollow life that was never meant to be.”

“You know he only left to protect me, Jake.”

“Then he should have taken care of Victoria before he left," he growls, "He should have been honest with you about why he was leaving, and afterward, he should have stayed away.”

She has never told Jacob what Edward said to her when he left, but somehow he knew. He know how she worships Edward like a god. Thinks of him as a god, even. And when a god seeks a mortal girl's affections, who is she to turn him down?

She doesn't realize she's said it aloud until he laughs darkly. "And how did those myths end up, anyway? I wasn't paying that much attention in class, Bella, but I don't remember happy endings for those girls. I remember one was turned into a cow, and another turned into a fly?”

She scoffs, “Io was turned into a cow to protect her from Hera’s jealousy, and Metis was turned into a fly when Zeus found out her son would dethrone her.”

“Right, and he swallowed her, right? And for the record, Bella, Edward isn’t a god. He's a monster. A pretty one, maybe, with nice manners, but a monster nonetheless."

Now she's angry. "He's not a monster, Jake. He doesn't kill humans. You know that," she hisses.

"Has he ever, Bella? He's never once given in to the temptation?"

She's silent, and that is answer enough.

"So he's not a monster, then, just a murderer." The words are spoken softly, but with power. "And that's what you want to become?"

"I don't want to hurt anyone. But I don’t have a choice,” her voice is low. “The Volturi will come back, and if I’m not turned by then...” 

He moves forward and take her chin is his hand, tipping it up toward him. “I won’t let them do anything to you, Bella. I’ll protect you. We’ll protect you. You do have a choice. You can live. I won’t let them hurt you.” Now he’s about to cry.

“It's too late, Jake. I can’t ask you to put your life back on the line, and I won’t ask the pack either. Once was enough, and I almost lost you.”

Now he is crying. “You won’t lose me, Bells, not to some imprint and not to a vampire. I won’t let it happen. Just stay with me.”

She can’t look him in the eye anymore. She keeps her head down and steps away from him. “I just can't be without him. You don't know what it was like, you can't know how bad it was. You weren't there in the beginning, Jake, I can't do it again. You can't know what it feels like. The emptiness. You don't know what it's like to lose someone so vital to your existence." She is crying so hard that she almost misses the hardened expression on his face, and can't stop herself after she has realized what she has said.

"Maybe it is too late." His voice is hoarse. "The Bella I know, the Bella I love, wouldn't say that to me."

She says nothing as she realizes what she's just said. Jacob, of all people, understands loss. Not only his mother, but Bella herself. She is doing to him right now what Edward did to her. Telling him she's leaving because he isn't enough. That her love for him isn't enough.

He waits for a response, but her voice is stuck in her throat.

"And the Bella I know wouldn't willingly turn herself into a killer," he says, a flat expression on his face. He centers himself, steps toward her, and gently wipes the tears from her face with his thumbs. His touch is the best thing she's felt in days. He gives it one last shot, and slowly leans in to place a sweet, gentle kiss on her lips, and murmurs against her, barely loud enough to hear, "I love you. I’ll protect you. Always."

He backs up to the door. Waits for her to stop him from leaving, but she is paralyzed with fear. She rasps out a quiet, "I know. I love you too. I'm sorry," and with that he is gone.

She’s so distraught upon his departure that she doesn’t notice that the package left behind by UPS is nowhere to be seen.


	7. Chapter 7

X-x-x-x-X

Wednesday night

X-x-x-x-X

 

Jacob decides to walk back home instead of phasing. He really doesn't want anyone else in his head right now. Soon enough everyone else will be privy to his heartbreak and humiliation, but that time doesn't need to be now. 

 

He finally understands just how afraid Bella is. It casts a whole new light on her decision. He already knew she was terrified of losing Edward again, scared of returning to that dark, empty place in her mind. He always knew he would keep her from going back there again, keep her out in the light and surrounded by his warmth and his love. But he hadn't understood just how afraid she is that if she chooses him, it will just be a matter of time until he leaves her, and she will be without her lover and her best friend. So she's pushing him away before he even has a chance to prove his faithfulness to her. And as much as he feels there is no one else for him, no faceless girl waiting in the wings to sweep him off his feet, he can't give her a guarantee. There is no doubt in his mind that he could break an imprint if he needed to. He would stop phasing, exorcise the wolf, physically tie himself down, move across the country or across the sea to put distance between himself and the faceless girl, to allow him to stay with Bella. But he honestly believes, knows in his bones, that his imprint simply does not exist. He has no way to prove this to her.

 

And then there is the matter of the Volturi. They most certainly do exist. She does not want him to put himself on the line for her again, but does not understand that he would happily die in an attempt to save her life, if only for a small chance that she should live. She thinks his attitude is hubris, that he is cocky and overconfident and does not understand his own limits. She is sure he would die. He is actually fully aware that he might not survive such an attempt. What he does understand, that she does not, is that such an attempt is quite literally what he is made for. It's why he exists. He still hasn't fully embraced his wolf, but this part, the part where he can protect the woman he loves: the man and the wolf are in total agreement. He would fight an imprint until the day he dies, but the instinct to protect was a part of him before the wolf. The wolf simply gave him the means with which to do so.

 

Tonight, though, there is no one to protect her from but from Bella herself. And he has said all that he can, and she has said all that she is willing. He need not return to her unless he finds different words.

 

For now, he is aimless. He has no way to assuage her fears other than by pledging his word, and she has been clear that it is not enough. He thinks about another life, the one he would have lived had the Cullens not returned. He avoids thinking of the life he would have had with Bella. It is too painful, right after she acknowledged that they were meant to be, if the world was a different place. Instead he thinks of the life he would have had if she had not returned either. He wonders if he'd have a girlfriend by now, or if he would still be spending all his time joking with Quil and Embry. He would be going off to college, of that he is certain. Once upon a time he had designs to be an architect or an engineer. It's hard to imagine how that could happen now. He'd get married someday, have kids. He still wants that, wants to be a dad. Wants to chase his children in the yard, teach them how to swim, show them how to change a tire and help them with their homework. Show them how to grow into loving, happy adults. Help them find their place in the world. And he'd be a husband. He'd be for some nice girl what his father was to his mother. He'd make some girl feel like the center of his universe. They'd love and laugh and fight and make up. They'd raise their kids, send them off to school, watch them grow up and call themselves empty-nesters some time down the road. He'd love somebody, and she'd love him back. It's just awfully hard to picture who the nice girl could be if she's not Bella. 

 

He pulls himself together when he approaches his own front door. Billy is waiting up for him in the living room but doesn't wheel around to face him. "Didn't go so well, son?" he asks softly.

 

"Yeah, I guess you saw it coming, huh?"

 

"This was a bit of a tip off, actually. Got here right after you left." He hands over a thick, white parchment. Jacob's heart falls into his stomach. Bella's wedding invitation, just weeks away. Which will be closely followed by the date of her death. It’s too soon. Far too soon. She should have years in front of her, not days.

 

He has the sudden urge to leave. To let his wolf take over, and just run. The pounding of the earth would be solid under his feet. It would let him know where he is in the world. The wolf doesn't feel despair so acutely as the man, so maybe he would just stay that way. Or perhaps he could leave on his motorcycle. It would keep the pack out of his head. It's tempting, but it wouldn't solve anything. She will still die. He'll just be somewhere else when it happens. Moreover, he has his father to think of. He has the pack. So instead, he rips the invitation into tiny little pieces and tells his father he'll be back. 

 

He compromises. He'll run, because he needs to, but in his human form so that he can be alone with his thoughts. He will run until he's tired enough to collapse. Perhaps it will be a dreamless sleep, for once. Or perhaps it will be a dream in which everything will be right in his world, and she will come to him again. He's not sure which he'd rather have happen. The past few nights have been wonderful, but every morning that he wakes up with empty arms, he feels like he’s losing her all over again. Inevitably, tomorrow will come, and he will figure out what to do then.

 

He takes off along the beach. A storm is coming, so it's thankfully devoid of people. He tries not to think, but fails. The wedding invitation was a blow, but no more so than his conversation with Bella. He meant what he said to her, every word of it, even the part about letting her go gracefully if only she were going to be happy with another human man. Or being single, for that matter. He thinks darkly to himself that maybe he should set her up with some other guys. That, at least, brightens his mood a bit. What she would do to him if he set her up on a blind date with that Newton kid? Or better yet, Paul? 

 

He's managing to somewhat distract himself with that train of thought when he suddenly comes across the pungent, fresh, acrid scent of vampire. It can't be more than a couple hours old. It's definitely the same as the rogue newborn they haven't been able to catch. It's heading straight out of the water and into the woods. Jacob pauses only briefly to tie his shorts around his ankle, phases, and tears along the trail, letting out a howl of warning. Soon, several of his pack brothers join the hunt.

 

Leah is already running a tight perimeter around the Swan house, and he tells her to stick as close as she can. Jared had been tracking old trails along the southernmost forests of the rez, and immediately reverses his direction to join Jake. Embry, Seth, and Sam phase in to chase after Jacob. None of them have a chance of catching him. He's fast to begin with, and tonight he has the pent up energy of desperation fueling him on. It only gets stronger when he realizes the trail leads more or less directly to the Swan residence. 

 

Jacob is relieved when he can hear through Leah's mind that both Charlie and Bella are apparently alive and well. They're eating dinner together in relative silence. The pack gets a muted sense of Jacob's black mood when they all phase in, but he's too focused on trying to catch up with his prey for any details of his evening to sneak through. He pauses to note that the vampire climbed a tree, and actually phases back to human so he can climb up as well and see if he can figure out what the vampire was doing. He's alarmed when he realizes just how close to Bella's home the vampire came. He can actually see it from the top of the tree. God, he was probably inside the house when it was up here. The scent is downwind from the Swan house, and the incoming storm is bringing violent winds in to sweep the scent in the opposite direction, which is why he didn't realize it was there when he was talking to her, and why Leah hasn’t noticed it on her patrol of the house. He drops back down to the ground and returns to wolf form, and the trail turns north and away from Forks.

 

Sam pulls the rest of the pack back when he realizes the trail is heading so far out of town. 

 

_ Jacob, it’s obviously gone. It's way out of our territory. _

 

_ Are you giving me an order to turn back? _

 

Sam pauses to consider. _No, I won't order you. But I don't think it's our business when it's out that far._

 

_ Then no one else needs to come with me. But this thing is clearly after Bella. That bitch we killed last week created it for the sole purpose of killing her, and I don't think it's going to stop until she's dead. So I'm going to try to end this now, Sam.  _

 

The members of the pack are alternately arguing with him, or wishing him luck, but Jacob has stopped listening. Bella may not value her life, but he still does, and the rogue vampire will get to her over Jacob's dead body. He turns north.

 

X-x-x-x-X

 

Bella stands, unmoving in the center of her living room, until a gust of wind sends the open door crashing into the wall. Her tears have dried. Jacob brushed them off her cheeks, and her skin is still warm where he touched her. Her lips still tingle where he touched them with his. The rest of her body is cold. She feels a familiar ache in her chest, an empty space where something should be. _How odd,_ she wonders. _I haven’t felt that ache since Edward came back_. A niggling voice in the back of her brain remembers, _It_ _was before that. The hole was filled before you left to bring him home._ She silences the voice.

 

She closes the door, and then unconsciously wraps her arms around her middle. It’s familiar, and somewhat comforting. She gradually realizes that she’s gripping herself tightly. _Oh yes, this is how I held myself together before._ _I can do it again._ But this time, maybe she won’t have to. She doesn’t know yet that Edward is gone. She hasn’t seen him since the awful way she woke up this morning, but that doesn’t mean he left her again. Does it? The last time he left, he at least told her that he was going. He wouldn’t leave forever without at least saying goodbye, would he?

 

She’s distracted from the ache in her chest by the sound of Charlie’s cruiser pulling up into the drive. She flees upstairs, not wanting him to see her until she can check herself in the mirror and make sure she looks acceptable. She doesn’t want to face any questions today. She peers at her reflection. Her eyes are red, puffy, swollen, and she is paler than usual. She holds a cold washcloth to her face for as long as she can, since just hiding in the bathroom is bound to rises suspicion at some point, and then adds a bit of blush to her cheeks to hide her pallor. She finds him peeking into the fridge.

 

“Hey, Bells. Do you want to head to the diner tonight?” He sees no sign of dinner on the stove.

 

She can’t stand the idea of being stuck with him in the car, and then waiting for a meal to arrive at their table, all the while trying to avoid awkward small talk. He’ll figure out that something’s wrong, and she doesn’t want to talk about it. At all. Especially with Charlie. He’ll probably find out from Billy soon enough that she had another falling out with Jacob. She doesn’t think she can stand to see the disappointment in his eyes when he finds out. He’s made no secret of preferring Jacob to Edward, although these days he’s careful not to say anything out loud, for fear of setting her off or pushing her away. But he’ll know, and he won’t be able to keep the disappointed expression from his face. 

 

“Sorry, dad, I got caught up with stuff from work and didn’t get anything ready, but we’ve still got leftover stew in the freezer. It shouldn’t take too long to heat up.”

 

He brightens at the prospect, “Oh yeah, I’ll never turn that down. Better than anything the diner has to offer, that’s for sure.” Her beef stew is comfort food at its best, and they both know it. Hearty, simple, flavorful, and rich. She made a huge batch the last time, enough to give some to Billy and Jacob and still have some for later. As she sets it in the microwave, she remembers the look on Jacob’s face when she fed it to him. Pure bliss. _God, Bells. I’m in heaven. I’ve died and gone to heaven, and it’s apparently full of cows for me to eat!_ She pushes the thought aside. She just can’t think of him right now. She’ll collapse.

 

She puts on a fake smile and pretends she’s fine throughout dinner. Charlie gives her sideways glances and picks up on the tension, but says nothing. 

 

The silence is broken by a wolf’s howl. It sounds distant to her, but Charlie looks concerned. “I worry about those things, Bells. You’re not going into the woods these days, are you?”

 

She shakes her head. “You know I’m not much of a hiker, Dad.” To herself, she worries about Jake. That wasn’t a normal wolf.

 

As she’s clearing the table, Charlie settles in front of the television, and they are both surprised by a knock at the door. Jacob wouldn’t come back this soon, would he? She doesn’t think she has the strength to turn him away again. But Charlie doesn’t sound particularly pleased at the visitor, so there’s no way it’s Jake. 

 

She turns around and is simultaneously relieved and anxious to see her fiance standing in the doorway of the kitchen. Is it a good thing or a bad thing that he didn’t wait until nightfall to sneak into her room as usual? 

 

“I’ve come to pick you up for our date, Bella. Are you ready to go?” he asks, a carefully neutral expression on his face. He takes in the recently completed remnants of the meal in the sink. “Any appetite left for dessert?”

 

She knows she’s distraught, but not confused enough to have forgotten about plans with him. This is just a ruse to get her out of the house. She nods and wipes her hands on the kitchen towel nervously. “Of course, Edward.” She calls out to Charlie, “Dad, I forgot to tell you, we’re going out for a couple hours. I’ll get the dishes when I get home.”

 

“Don’t worry about them, Bells. I can take care of it. Back by midnight, okay?”

 

It doesn’t escape anyone’s notice that Charlie is still trying to impose a curfew on her, despite her being 18 and about to get married and move out of the house. A curfew that never exists when Jacob comes to get her.

 

They nod at Charlie as they exit the house. Edward’s opens the passenger door of his Volvo and she climbs in. He’s peering into the woods. 

 

“I wasn’t sure you were coming tonight,” she begins.

 

“I wasn’t sure you wanted me to,” he says quietly.

 

She looks at him, pleading with her eyes. “Of course I want you to. I always want to be with you.”

 

He looks at her pointedly, hurt in his eyes. “Always?”

 

She reaches to put her hand on his knee, and tries unsuccessfully to steady her voice. “Always, Edward. Only you.”

 

He’s silent as he drives. She doesn’t know what to say, or where they are going. Eventually he pulls into a darkened public park, and shifts the car into park. The wind has picked up. The trees lining the borders of the playground are starting to shift violently back and forth.

 

“My greatest wish is for you to be happy, Bella. But I am selfish. I want you to be happy with me.” He is looking out the driver’s side window, away from her.

 

She pleads, “I am happy with you, Edward. I want you, only you.”

 

He looks crushed. “Not only me, Bella. I’ve known it ever since I returned, but last night...” His voice trails off into a whisper. His eyes are squeezed shut tight.

 

“It was just a dream, Edward,” she insists, “It didn’t mean anything.” She lies, fully conscious of the act, lies to him and to herself. “I have crazy dreams, Edward, I always have. Most of them don’t make any sense.”

 

“You want him,” his voice barely audible, still refusing to look at her.

 

“I want you more,” she pleads. “It’s just guilt, Edward, and frustration. That’s all. I feel bad for breaking his heart, that’s all. I’ve been feeling guilty for days.”

 

“You’ve been having those dreams for days, Bella. I’ve been watching you. Wanting you. Trying to resist you. He was in all of them, wasn’t he?” his voice is cracking. 

 

She really, really doesn’t want to talk about this. Not with him. Not with anyone. Except maybe Jacob himself, and she has already pushed him away.

 

She lies again, “I don’t remember, Edward. I hardly remember them. They’re nothing, Edward, they’re just dreams. Nothing’s happened between us. You know that. I’m yours.” She is so glad he cannot read her mind.

 

Now he turns and looks her straight in the eye. His topaz eyes are hypnotizing. “Not yet, Bella, but soon, if you still want it.”

 

“I do, Edward. I want nothing else in the world more. I only want you.” If she says it often enough, she can will it to be true.

 

Rain starts to beat down on the car, thrumming around them. His eyes are fierce. He grabs onto her bare forearms. His hands are freezing cold and his grip is very firm. She wonders if she’ll bruise. “I can make you mine. We don’t have to wait. I’ll walk away if you tell me to, Bella, but only if you make me go. You’re my heart, Bella. I only exist for you. I can make you mine tonight.”

 

She shrinks back against the seat. He’s never looked desperate this way before. “What are you saying, Edward?” she asks with a whisper. She’s afraid of the answer. 

 

He pulls her forward against him, his lips against her ear. “Whatever you want, Bella. Whatever you need. You say the word.”

 

She’s been waiting for him to say those words for the entirety of their relationship. She’s so used to him pulling away, restraining himself from her. She’s not used to being handed the power. But it’s too much, it’s too soon. She is convinced that it’s what she wants, but not right now. “What about the wedding, Edward? It’s important to you. It’s important to us,” she insists. She still isn’t sure what they’re talking about. Making love? Being turned? She’s fairly certain that he will do both, either, tonight, if she asks.

 

He relaxes infinitesimally and the circulation returns to her hands. “It is, Bella. I want you to be my wife. I want it while you are still human. But I want what you want more. Whatever it is it may be. I just pray that what you want is me.”

 

“I sent him away, Edward. I already told him no.”

 

He moves his hands to hold her own, tightly, but not enough to hurt. “Today? Just now?”

 

She can’t speak. She can’t think about Jacob. Can’t talk about him now. She nods.

 

He slumps in relief, and his grip on her hands relaxes. “I smelled him on you, Bella. And I heard Leah in the woods, but her thoughts were a jumble. I thought... I thought you had changed your mind about me. About us. About your future.”

 

_ I did. _ She hears the voice in her mind, and viciously silences it. “Never, Edward. I choose you. It’s always been you. I told him again, tonight.”

 

He nods, relieved, and presses his cold lips against her forehead. She shivers from the chill. “Thank God,” he whispers. He pulls back again to look at her. “I’ll make sure he stays away. I’ll make sure he leaves you alone.”

 

“No, Edward. You don’t need to. I made myself clear tonight.” _I said awful things. I broke his heart. I let him walk away._

 

They both draw in deep breaths. It’s getting hard for her to hear him, the sound of the rain pounding against the roof of the car is so loud.

 

“I should take you home. Can I come tonight?”

 

She nods, staring at the storm outside the window. “I can’t leave the window open in this weather. I’ll just leave it unlocked?”

 

“That’s fine.” He turns the car on and they drive home in silence, his cold, hard hand wrapped around hers.

 

As she’s falling asleep that night, holding herself stiffly wrapped in layers of blankets, a cold arm lying protectively across her, she remembers Charlie’s package. She forgot to tell him about it, and she can’t quite remember what she did with it. Probably he’ll notice it on his own. It can’t be anything urgent, otherwise it would have gone to the police station. She pushes the thought aside until the morning. 

 

The hole in her chest aches.

 

_ She approaches the little red house. It’s dark, and still. She can feel the rain on her skin. It’s cold, but doesn’t bother her. She will be warm inside the house. She turns the knob and silence greets her. She peers in each open door. There is no one home. She goes to the garage. It’s empty as well. She returns to the small, messy bedroom that smells like him. She removes her wet clothes, finds one of his old, soft tee shirts and slips it on. His earthy scent envelops her. Pine needles and summer rain. She finds an old quilt in his closet and places it on the bed. Without him here to warm it, it’s too cold to sleep without more covers. She climbs into his bed and slides in. She falls asleep. He doesn’t comes home. _


	8. Chapter 8

X-x-x-x-X

Thursday

X-x-x-x-X

 

Bella wakes the next morning to the sound of the front door opening and closing. She feels unwell, almost nauseous, as if she only got an hour or two of sleep rather than seven. But without opening her eyes, she can tell it's light out. If Charlie is leaving, it must be close to 8:00 AM. She recalls her dream from the previous night. Her subconscious is being awfully literal right now. In the dream, she lay tossing and turning in his bed all night, waiting for him to return. He never did. She dozed off from time to time, and even recalls dreaming within her dream. The top layer of the dream was crystal clear, like the past few nights, only minus his presence. The sound of wind whistling in the eaves of the little red house, the pounding of rain that eventually slowed to a comforting patter, the soft brush of his well-worn sheets against her skin, the scent of Jacob surrounding her. The second layer of dreams is hazy and indistinct, and she can barely recall them. Being awake feels hazy and indistinct as well. She's sure Jacob was present in the second layer of dreams, though. She recalls both laughter and tears, and Jacob's warmth, and not much else. She wants to pull them up to the surface.

 

She wants to stay in bed longer, see if she can go back to sleep and get some real rest, or maybe return to the little red house, but her alarm is going off in a few minutes. She's expected at work. Suddenly, a cold hand lands on her forehead. She jumps at the touch and only manages not to fall out of bed because of the hard arms that quickly wrap around her. _Where are the warm hands, the soft strong arms?_ She immediately shoves the thoughts away. Her hair is brushed back off her forehead.

 

"Well, good morning, my love," he says, followed with a soft chuckle.

 

Her heart is racing. "Edward, you startled me." She pulls loose from his embrace. "I didn't realize you'd still be here this morning."

 

He looks out the window. "Your calm breathing soothed me. I didn't want to go. I hope you don't mind." What he means is: _You didn't dream about the dog last night, so you didn't drive me away._

 

"Of course not, Edward." She's eager to get out of the room, collect her thoughts, but he's moving toward her. She freezes. 

 

He reaches across her to turn off her alarm. "It was about to go off. I didn't want it to startle you. You'd probably fall out of bed." He smiles warmly.

 

She laughs out her nervous tension, and tucks her hair behind her ear. "You've just turned off my signal to get ready. I'd better get myself together so I can go to work."

 

"Certainly, love. Do you mind if I make you breakfast?"

 

"Oh, you really don't need to do that. All I really want is something to drink, and maybe some toast." _I don't think I can hold anything down._

 

_ " _ Nonsense. I want to take care of you. It will make me happy."

 

_ Really, I think I'll throw up.  _ She smiles sheepishly. "Okay, but nothing big or fancy. I don't have much of an appetite today."

 

He looks thrilled at her acquiescence, almost a mirror image of the face Alice makes when Bella agrees to a makeover, and he leans forward to kiss her. Without thinking, she covers her mouth with her hand. "I'd like to brush my teeth first," she says, sheepishly _._ Once she's a vampire, she won't have to worry about such trivialities anymore. _Do they brush their teeth after they rip into into an animal's neck? I'll bet they get fur stuck between their teeth otherwise!_ Her inner voice now sounds like Jacob, and she wills it to shut up.

 

Edward smiles indulgently down at her, and heads down the stairs to her kitchen. She heaves a sigh of relief and gets out of bed. 

 

When she emerges in the kitchen, a rich, pungent aroma assaults her nose. Edward grins at her from his position at the stove.

 

"Take a seat, my love." He places a cup of coffee in front of her, as well as a glass of orange juice. "Freshly squeezed, my dear." He leans over to pour an unfamiliar-looking white cream into the coffee, filling it to the brim. She sips the juice. It's quite good, but she doesn't need so much to drink. He pushes the coffee toward her. "Alice found the most lovely irish creme flavored creamer from this little dairy outside Napa Valley. It's supposed to be wonderful." When did he run out to get this? He looks at her expectantly.

 

"Mmm," she replies. It's sickeningly sweet, and her tender stomach churns at the combination of acid from the juice, caffeine in the strong coffee, and thick dairy in the creamer. Edward aims his crooked smile at her.

 

He returns with a plate heaped with food. It's nearly enough to feed a werewolf. A small one, perhaps. Maybe Leah. Her eyes grow wide.

 

"Try it. It's one of Esme's recipes." He gestures toward the plate. Sitting there is a gigantic omelet. It looks to be at least four or five eggs, if not more, and is bursting at the seams with a melting white substance. Next to it are six strips of thick-cut bacon, two large sausage patties, and on a small side dish, two slices of thick crusty bread slathered in herb butter. To finish, Edward places a bowl of heavy cream filled with exotic pieces of fruit and powdered sugar on the table. 

 

Bella thinks she could finish, perhaps, one slice of the bread. He watches her blinking at the feast before her. "I stepped out for a bit while you were sleeping. I wanted it to be a surprise."

 

It's very sweet, and Bella is touched by all the trouble that Edward went through, but it's at least three times as much food as she could eat even if she starved herself for a day to prepare for the meal. She pokes gingerly at the omelet, takes a bite, and discovers goat cheese and chives. "The cheese and the eggs are from an organic dairy farm out of southern Idaho, and the chives are from the farmers market in Port Angeles." It's one of the nicest things Edward has ever done for her. Unfortunately, she hates goat cheese, and the omelet is heavily oversalted. But it's a very good job for someone with no human sense of taste.

 

The last time Jacob cooked her an omelet, he used the entire carton of eggs. He made Billy a three egg omelet, no yolks, with ham. Bella's omelet contained two eggs, with yolks, and a sprinkling of Kraft cheddar cheese, and a few cubes of ham. Jacob's omelet contained all the remaining eggs, half the package of cheddar, and the rest of the ham. They had store brand whole wheat toast on the side. Billy took one slice with a little butter. Jacob put Smucker's grape jelly on a slice for Bella. He had 6 slices with butter and jelly. Jacob and Bella drank orange juice from a carton, but Jacob gave his father tea since the juice had too much sugar in it, and his blood sugar had been running a little high that morning. Bella wishes Jacob had cooked breakfast this morning, or that Edward had listened to her and just given her toast.

 

She smiles a large, fake smile at Edward, who is thrilled at her reaction. She takes a bite of the bread, which is slathered in the herb butter. Proudly, Edward announces, "The chives you already heard about, the parsley and tarragon are from our own herb garden, and the garlic from the farmers market as well." There is far too much parsley in the butter, and the garlic is not fully cooked, and is still a little crunchy.

 

"The meat is from a co-op farm in Oregon. The pigs are hormone and antibiotic free, and fed only grass." Bella gamely eats two slices of bacon, half a sausage patty, and as much of the omelet as she can stomach, which is actually starting to hurt. The meat would have tasted wonderful had she not already felt so ill.

 

Gratefully, she reaches for the fruit, and scoops out a spoonful. She discovers pineapple, guava, and passionfruit which are all ripe and ready to eat. If they weren't swimming in heavy cream and sugar, they would be quite good. She thanks Edward profusely, apologizes for wasting so much food, and manages not to get ill in front of him. Edward beams.

 

Bella is half an hour late to work. Mike tries to send her home because she looks so sick, but she refuses. An hour later she realizes that Edward thinks she enjoyed her meal, so it will probably be served to her again. She had damn well better be changed soon. Otherwise Edward's cooking will kill her.

 

For the next two nights, Edward stays in her room at night, and when she wakes, he is still there. She makes sure to get up while Charlie is still at home to avoid becoming the victim of Edward's unwitting culinary disasters.

 

She spends her evenings with Alice, pretending to care about table settings, flower arrangements, and color schemes. Alice flits about excitedly and Edward looks on indulgently. Charlie appears concerned and slightly irritated, but remains silent. Her life seems to be settling back to its normal state. She steadfastly refuses to think about what’s missing. The hole in her chest grows larger.

 

Her dreams remain the same. She waits in Jacob's empty bedroom, wakeful, anxious, and waiting for him to arrive. She continues to fitfully drowse and dream within her dream. On Friday morning she grasps at rapidly fading images of black-haired, dark-skinned toddlers with her eyes. They’re chasing each other through the trees of La Push, the fading sounds of Jacob's hearty laughter ringing in her ears. She sleeps eight or nine hours straight, peacefully and soundlessly if Edward is to be believed, but wakes feeling as tired as any insomniac.

 

The only exception is a brief dream she has on Friday night. 

 

_ She is seated on his bed, knees bent, feet tucked under his covers, holding his pillow tightly. She’s curled around it, burying her face in his scent. When she looks up and out the window, instead of seeing his familiar backyard and the forest of LaPush, the sun is setting over a glittering lake. She goes outside to investigate. She follows the lake’s edge until she reaches a large weeping willow, its branches trailing in the water. She parts the foliage and steps inside. Her heart flutters in her chest and a smile plays across her lips. At the base of the great trunk, her giant russet wolf is curled on the forest floor, its muzzle resting on its huge front paws. It is deeply asleep. _

 

_ Jacob. My Jacob. _

 

_ She steps forward and kneels in front of the great animal. She reaches out her hands. Feels the puffs of his hot breath on her fingertips. She gently strokes behind his ears. He does not stir. She buries her hands deep within his fur and feels for his heartbeat. Feels his trunk rise and fall with each breath. It calms her. It soothes her. She moves to tuck herself against his side, and for a brief time, falls deeply asleep. She is content. _

 

She startles awake, and the night is still dark and deep. She blinks rapidly, tears forming in her eyes, an ache blossoming in her chest. Here in the darkness, pulled away from her peaceful slumber, she can admit it to herself, if only briefly. She longs for her wolf.

 

“Bella? Are you all right, love?” Edward calls out softly from his spot in her rocking chair.

 

“Just a dream, Edward. Just a dream.” She rolls over, away from him. 

 

_ She returns to the little red house, but it is still and empty. The forest is still, and there is neither a lake nor a willow to be found. _

 

 

X-x-x-x-X

Wednesday Night

X-x-x-x-X

 

Jacob is able to stay in wolf form nearly all the way to Port Angeles, as the trail he follows cuts through Olympic National Park. But when he reaches the borders of the forest, he is too conspicuous in his wolf form, and phases back into a man. He runs to Port Angeles on two feet, sticking to the shadows as much as possible so he can run as fast as possible, and hopefully not be seen to rouse suspicion. Although a giant, sprinting, shirtless Native American man in no shoes doesn’t exactly blend in. The trail stops close to the water’s edge, but does not go in. He makes his way east along the northern border of the Olympic peninsula, following along the Salish sea. 

 

The vampire probably doesn’t know it’s being followed, so he’s gaining ground slowly. But it hasn’t made a lot of detours or stops, which is to Jacob’s disadvantage. Especially since he’s in human form for a lot of this journey, he can’t go quite as fast. He phases to the wolf when he can, but this area of Washington is urban enough to make it nearly impossible, and so he loses speed. He wonders if he should have come on his bike. Worse yet, he has to run as hard as he can to stay ahead of the storm. It will catch up with him eventually, and will wash the scent of the trail away. His other fear is that the vampire will turn back into the ocean at some point. It could easily get to Vancouver Island from here. 

 

By the middle of the night, he has reached Puget Sound. He has not been lucky enough to actually catch up to the vampire when the storm reaches him. He is crestfallen. There are dozens of inlets, bays, and small islands on the west side of the Sound. It will take him days to search the whole area, and if he does not find it here, and if he keeps to the coast, eventually he will make his way to the east side of the Sound and into Seattle. Then all his searching will have to be in human form, and will be even slower. 

 

He pushes on through the storm. It does afford him some measure of cover in the darkness, and he is able to stay in wolf form longer than he expected. He is close to the leech; he can feel it. Their proximity means he is also able to track it without searching too hard as he runs south along the western shore of the Sound. And for a time, he is lucky enough to follow it as the wolf, when it detours slightly west through Olympic National Park.

 

Vaguely, he can hear his pack members encouraging him on. He pays enough attention to know that there is no danger at home which would force him to turn back, but otherwise tunes them out. He is grateful for the silence in his mind when he is forced to phase human.

 

When the sun rises the next day, the storm has passed over. He’s approaching Tacoma, and the trail has somewhat degraded due to the the heavy rains. This area is urban enough, and the daylight hours are busy enough, that he has to explore the city on foot. At first he hopes to get away with looking like he’s just on a long morning jog, but realizes he’s garnering too many glances doing so without shoes, so he stops in a Wal Mart to buy shoes and a shirt. He supposes he should feel lucky that he’s managed to keep his small wallet in the pocket of his shorts this whole time. 

 

A startled, elderly greeter is standing at the entrance in orthopedic shoes, a beige cardigan, and courduroy skirt. She widens her eyes at his appearance as he enters the store. He’s sure she’s supposed to turn him away. No shoes, no shirt, no service. But a mixture of shock, intimidation, and a small amount of appreciation at his half naked form gets him past her, and by the time a manager appears to kick him out of the store, he has already made his way through the self-check scanners and is out the door. Now clothed, he stops to eat a tasteless breakfast in 5 minutes flat, and is on his way once more. 

 

It’s harder to follow the trail today, and slower going, but he manages. He realizes that even on two feet rather than four, he’s moving much faster than a normal man should, but he can’t bring himself to care. He’s not planning on sticking around long enough to get caught. And he’s honestly no longer sure if the scents he is picking up are old or new, but they definitely belong to the vampire he’s looking for. 

 

Late in the afternoon, he lucks out. The trail leads east out of town, and he heads for Mount Rainier National Park as a wolf. There is palpable relief at being able to change. He’s been exhausting himself mentally trying not to think about Bella while trying to follow the degrading trail. As the wolf, the scent is easier to follow, and his despair is somewhat at bay. 

 

When dusk comes on, he finds himself too tired to go on. It has been 36 hours since he last slept. He relieves his thirst on the edge of a small, crystal clear lake bordered by tall grasses. He refuses to let himself sleep for the night, but collapses on the forest floor under the shade of the trailing branches of a huge weeping willow. He drowses for a short time, perhaps an hour or two. Briefly, he feels as if there is something soft and warm curled up against his flank, but he is too tired to investigate. Before the moon rises back into the sky, he forces himself from his slumber and continues. The vampire does not need to sleep, so he cannot afford to do so. 

 

The trail is becoming more faint with each passing hour, but is still there. It weaves east, west, and east again, but always in a northerly direction. The vampire has stayed within the confines of Mount Rainier National Park and North Cascades National Park, so he is able to stay in his wolf form. The trail bypasses Seattle altogether. He is thankful for the speed. He communicates with his packmates just enough to let them know he is all right, but tells them no more. It’s easier to shield his thoughts from them at this distance. Late in the afternoon he needs to stop again for a brief rest by the bank of a stream, but again forces himself awake within a couple hours to continue his search. He hungers, but can’t bring himself to kill any of the plentiful game around him. The man in him is still prominent within him, and shoves thoughts of his hunger away. 

 

By Saturday, Jacob is in Canada, and his luck runs out. The vampire trail is leading west again, toward the coast. Toward Vancouver. The vampire will easily lose him in the city. At midday, the skies begin to cloud. An hour later, another heavy rain begins to fall. The scent entirely washes away.

 

Despondent and exhausted, Jacob phases back to human on the outskirts of the metropolis. He is filthy and his shoes are long gone, but his wallet has miraculously stayed in his shorts, still tied to his ankle. He marches into the first suburban superstore he finds, and uses the same technique of bold disregard for store policy to obtain fresh clothing and shoes. He finds a dingy, old fashioned diner that reminds him of the diner back in Forks, and orders almost everything on the tiny menu. The other customers give him a wide berth, and he finishes as quickly as he can. He asks his waitress, a middle aged woman with huge hair who has been blatantly gawking at him for the duration of his meal, where the cheapest, closest motel is located, and she points him down the street. He tips her well. 

 

Directly outside the office to the run down motel, a prostitute swaying on purple platform shoes and poured into a skintight vinyl minidress tries to get Jacob to take her back to his room. He can’t decide if she’s 15 years old going on 40, or if she’s 40 trying to look like she’s 15, and either way was probably ruined by drugs, alcohol, or the wrong man, or more likely, by all three. He gently removes her hand from his arm. Ah, so that’s the sort of establishment this is. He thinks to himself that it is probably in his price range. 

 

The bored desk clerk barely even looks at Jacob while renting him a room. A giant Native man, filthy from head to toe, but wearing brand new clothes (he belatedly realizes he hasn’t pulled the tags off), with not a single piece of luggage. Doesn’t startle the clerk at all. He is interested in the credit card only, and hands Jacob a key to room 128.

 

Jacob carefully avoids the prostitute on his way to the room. It’s tiny, although it does boast a queen sized bed (ancient, squeaky, collapsing in the middle, covered in a hideous green paisley bedspread), a dresser, a television, and nothing else. He stares at the bed, turns to stare at the bathroom, and decides that even though the room is filthy, he will make it even filthier by lying in the bed in his current state. He briefly considers lying on the floor to spare the bed of his dirt. But a hot shower sounds wonderful to his sore body. He is pleasantly surprised to find that there is both water pressure as well as hot water, and washes the filth from his skin. 

 

At six oclock in the evening, he yanks the filthy bedspread off the bed and onto the floor. At least the sheets underneath are clean. Jacob falls naked into the bed. On the other side of the wall above his head, a woman is yelling incoherently at a man. It could be the prostitute. He’s not sure. They have turned the television volume up, thinking that it will mask their words. If he paid any attention at all, he would easily determine that she thinks he gave her venereal disease, and he thinks she gave it to him. He wouldn’t even need his heightened wolf senses to distinguish every word of their battle. On the opposite wall there is relative silence. One junkie has just rendered another junkie unconscious so as to ease the process of stealing their mutually acquired score. So it’s rather quiet now, except for the incessant ringing of one of their phones. Normally it would be difficult to fall asleep under such circumstances. Right now, it is not. Jacob dreams.

 

_ The room falls silent. Jacob hears a squeak as he feels the side of the bed dip down next to his prone body. The scent of strawberries and vanilla wafts over him. A soft, small hand reaches out for his upper arm, holding him right on top of his tattoo. The hand gently tugs him onto his back. The corners of his lips turn up, just barely. He opens his sparkling black eyes to meet her deep brown ones, shining with tears. _

 

_ Her voice breaks. “Where have you been?” _

 

_ “I’m right here.” He smiles. _

 

_ “You’re here?” _

 

_ He opens his arms. “I’m here.” _

 

_ Bella falls into his embrace. _


	9. Chapter 9

X-x-x-x-X

Saturday

X-x-x-x-X

 

On Saturday, Angela Weber stops into Newton’s just as Bella is about to go on her lunch hour. She’s picking up a portable lantern for her father. They haven’t seen each other since graduation, and Bella feels a little guilty for not seeking out her friend. On the spot, they decide to go to lunch together, and head for a cafe down the street.

 

“Sorry I haven’t been good about keeping up,” Bella begins, stirring her soda with her straw.

Angela smiles warmly. “Well, you’ve got to be pretty busy planning that wedding. Between working at Newton’s and doing that, I can’t imagine you have a lot of time left over.”

 

“Alice is really doing most of the planning. I’m just her assistant.” Angela sees right through her attempt at levity.

 

Angela cocks a brow and tilts her head to the side. “Isn’t it every girl’s dream to plan their wedding? Well, maybe not every girl. It’s not one of my dreams, anyway.”

 

Bella smiles back. “Me neither. I really never wanted a big production.”

 

“Are you getting one? A big production, I mean?”

 

Bella shakes her head ruefully. “You know Alice Cullen. She doesn’t do small.”

 

Angela frowns a bit. “Are you getting the wedding you want, Bella?”

 

“Oh, it’s not a big deal. I care about the groom, and the date. The rest is just a bunch of extras. It makes her happy, and that makes me happy. ”

 

Angela says quietly, “That’s very kind of you, Bella. I won’t pry, but you just don’t look very excited. Just imagine if Jessica or Lauren was telling you about their wedding. You’d never get a word in edgewise.”

 

This isn't good. Now not only is she having trouble getting excited, but faking excitement as well. Bella looks down at the table. Shreds her napkin in her hand. “I’m just tired, that’s all.”

 

Angela is too perceptive for her own good. “And I’ll bet you’re worried about your friend. What’s his name, Jacob? I heard he was hurt pretty badly in a motorcycle accident.”

 

Bella feels the hole in her chest opening wider at Angela’s words.

 

“I don’t really know him much, Bella. But he makes you laugh. I figure anybody who makes you light up the way he does is a person worth keeping around. How’s he doing, anyway?”

 

She doesn’t know what to say. How to respond.  “Um, he’s a quick healer. I haven’t had the chance to see him much, though.”

 

"That's too bad. You guys are pretty close."

 

Her inner voice sounds suspiciously like Jacob. _We were. We should be._ "Like you said, between the wedding and work, I don't get a chance to get down there much, and right now he can't exactly come to see me."

 

"I'm sure he understands." Angela pats her hand reassuringly.

 

Bella tries not to let her devastation show on her face. Angela, being Angela, picks up on Bella’s discomfort, and changes the subject. Their sandwiches arrive, and Angela starts up a running commentary about their schoolmates’ summer and college plans. Soon enough, Bella’s lunch hour is over, and she rises, and Angela says she hopes to see Bella again before her wedding. She hugs Angela tightly and agrees. They part ways. Then it hits her. Jacob's voice speaks again in her mind. _You might never see her again after the wedding._ It stops her in her tracks. Then she takes the short walk back to Newton's.

 

Alice appears at her doorstep after she gets home, a bundle of color swatches and catalogues in her arms. They look vaguely familiar, but she can't be sure. They sit at her kitchen table and Alice spreads everything out before them.

 

"So, what did you decide?"

 

_ Didn't you do this already? _ "Um, I thought we figured this out last week."

 

"Silly Bella, we narrowed it down. Today I brought only brought swatches in the color family you chose."

 

Bella looks down. The shades of purple all look identical to her, so she stalls by pushing them in circles. Alice not so subtly fingers one in particular and gently pushes it toward her. She resists the urge to roll her eyes, and picks it up.

 

"Yay, I knew you'd pick the right one!" She beams at Bella, looking for all the world like a mother whose baby has just take it's first steps. Now Bella can't resist the urge to roll her eyes.

 

"Oh, don't be that way, Bella. It's your wedding! I want you to love everything about it!"

 

_ Then you should replace the groom! _ She tells her inner Jacob to be quiet.

 

They spend the next hour pouring over Alice's books, Bella nodding and agreeing wherever it seems appropriate, and otherwise making choices somewhat at random. She's still convinced that they did this already.

 

She's rescued when Charlie arrives home with a cooler full of fresh fish, cleaned and gutted. She gladly takes the fish from him to prepare, and Charlie invites Alice to dinner. She gives her regrets and heads out the door. Bella finds herself relieved until Charlie pipes up.

 

"She's enthusiastic, isn't she?"

 

"Yeah, it's a good thing. If it were left to me, we'd probably be getting married at the Justice of the Peace, and no one would be invited. Except for the parents, of course." She hears Jacob's voice in her head again. _If it were up to me, there would be no wedding at all._

 

"Your mom told me that you once told her you were going to get married at First Beach."

 

She freezes. What’s he talking about? And when do Charlie and Renee talk?

 

"Yeah. You used to love going down there with her when you were little. She thought you had a real connection with the place. There was this spot near the far end of the beach where you and Jacob would go play in the tidepools, find starfish and urchins, things like that. One day the twins were playing some sort of wedding make believe game, and you declared that the beach was the perfect place for a wedding."

 

_ You have no idea.  _ What Charlie doesn’t know is that once she made the declaration, Jacob put his little hand in hers and asked if she was going to be the bride, could he be the groom? She’s pretty sure she said yes, if he was grown up enough. She’d replied that the man needed to be taller than the woman, so once he got taller than her, if he ever did, she’d marry him there. At the time she wasn’t sure that he ever would be bigger than she.

 

"Which reminds me. Billy said they got your invitation in the mail on Wednesday."

 

Oh God. Wednesday. The last time she saw him. Did he get it before or after he came to see her?

 

"He said thanks, but they're not sure if Jake will be up and around by then. Sounds like the kid still isn't doing so hot."

 

Quietly, she asks, "Did you see him?" She's not sure if she wants to know the answer.

 

"Nah. Door was shut when I got there. It was still pretty early. He was probably still sleeping."

 

She remains quiet, so he pushes no further. They both know he wants to tell her to visit Jacob, and they both know there's no point. She's made up her mind.

 

Charlie's smile is wide when she sets the fish down on the table. "You know, I've been catching and cooking fish for years before you were even born. But something about the way you make this, Bells, well, you'd better promise to come back and cook it for me at least every couple years. Okay?"

 

"Of course, Dad," she lies. This time, her inner Jacob voice is conspicuously silent.

 

After doing the dishes, Bella heads up the stairs. "I think I'm going to turn in early tonight. I haven't been sleeping all that well."

 

Charlie looks surprised. "You've been pretty quiet for the last few nights, Bells. I thought meant the nightmares passed. No such luck, huh?"

 

Bella considers what to say. The dreams aren't nightmares, strictly speaking. But she's not exactly enjoying the dreams that consist of waiting in Jacob's room. A sense of desperate longing and loneliness eats away at her. She tosses and turns in his bed, getting not a wink of solid, restful slumber.

 

The only exception was the all-too-brief interlude with the wolf by the lake. She can picture the scene exactly. The water was crystal clear, the sun shining off the smooth surface. The willow reached its tendrils into the water. She can almost feel the great wolf's breath on her face, the rich softness of its fur between her fingers. For all too brief a time, she was at peace. She hopes to find it again tonight.

 

"Hopefully tonight is better. See you in the morning." She disappears into her room.

 

Edward is waiting for her there, staring intently out the window. “Good evening, Bella. Did you have a good time with Alice tonight?”

 

He looks distracted, and still hasn’t turned to face her.

 

“We got a lot done today, I think.”

 

He doesn’t respond. It makes her nervous. Something has him distracted. “Edward, what’s wrong?”

 

He turns toward her, planting a reassuring smile on his face. “Oh, nothing, my love. Leah Clearwater has just arrived for patrol. Her mind is very... dark. It distracted me.”

 

She doesn’t know how much she should ask. “Is there any news?”

 

“Nothing of note.” She doubts this is the case, but doesn’t know how to get more information out of him. He’ll tell her when he’s ready, or not at all. He continues, scowling, “I don’t know why they insist on being here overnight. It’s one thing for them to be here when I’m not nearby to watch over things, but their presence here overnight is, at best, unnecessary.” She knows he wants to say worse, but is being polite for her sake.

 

“They’re only trying to help, Edward. You know that.”

 

His lips are in a tight line, and he nods. “I would just like some privacy from time to time, and some peace and quiet. When I hear one of them, I hear the thoughts of any that are phased, and it’s a bit much. They’re not exactly the most well-mannered creatures. I will tolerate them if I must, but do not expect more.”

 

Bella knows the feeling is mutual. She’s declared herself Switzerland, but what will happen once she’s turned? Will she have an uncontrollable, visceral reaction to the wolves, just as the Cullens do? She hopes she will at least be able to maintain a friendship with Seth. She refuses to think about it further.

 

“Nothing else is going on, Edward?” She knows there’s more. Can read it plainly on his face.

 

He relaxes and places what he means to be a reassuring hand on her shoulder. The grip is too firm, and very cold. “All’s quiet on the western front, Bella.” He changes the subject, and she knows asking further will be futile. “You look a bit tired, darling. I heard you tell your father that you’ll turn in a bit early tonight?”

 

She nods and moves to get pajamas out of her drawer. It’s summer, and rather warm outside, but she then recalls the chill of his hand on her arm, and switches them for a heavy flannel pair, and goes to the bathroom to change.

 

When she returns, he’s sitting on the edge of her bed and staring straight ahead. He looks like a statue until he stands to let her get under the covers. He tucks an extra quilt around her, and slides in next to her. “May I hold you tonight, my love?”

 

She isn’t thrilled by the idea of his marble arms around her. “Of course you can, Edward.” He pulls her under the crook of his arm, and she wishes there was a way to put a pillow under her head, on top of his hard, cold skin, but he would be so hurt, so she does not. She expects to be awake for a long time, since she’s rather uncomfortable, but surprises herself by drifting off to sleep as she hears him whisper, “Goodnight, my love, my heart.”

 

_ She approaches the little red house. It’s unlit and still. Something is a bit different about it tonight. As she gets closer she can see. There is the sheen of metal lettering on the door. How odd. That’s never been there before. She comes up close enough to touch the unfamiliar door attached to the familiar red house. It looks like it used to be red, but has faded into a nondescript brown color. Tarnished brass plate numbers hang from its surface. 128. _

 

_ She places a hand on the knob, and is surprised to feel that the metal is warm to the touch. She places her flat palm on the surface of the door. Even though it’s made of wood, it’s warm as well. It’s inviting. She’s so cold right now. She wants the extra warmth, but she’s afraid the way will be locked to her. She stands for several minutes, not moving, afraid to turn the knob only to find her way barred. Or worse yet, that she will open it to find another empty room. _

 

_ She’s trembling now. She doesn’t know if she can be alone again tonight. There is a false angel whispering to her, saying tempting words that jangle in her ear. She needs his soft, husky voice to bring her back to earth. She needs his gentle, strong arms around her, to hold her together and keep her safe. Keep her here in this world. And there’s a chill that she can’t get rid of. She wants to burrow into his heat before the cold spreads through all her bones. _

 

_ A cold breeze blows across her face. She needs to get into the room now. She opens the door and steps in. She closes the door. _

 

_ The smell of home flows over her. _ _ Rainwater and pine needles. It’s dark, but she has no difficulty spying the figure on the bed, lying curled on his side, facing away from her. She breathes a sigh of relief. She takes a second to look around. The room is small and dingy. The walls are covered in wood panelling from another era. He has tossed the ugly bedspread to the floor. The furniture is minimal, just an old dresser with an ancient television bolted to its surface. There’s a phone screwed into the wall. There isn’t even a nightstand, but there is a small bathroom off to the side. It’s small and ugly. She’s never been here in her life, but it’s home, because he is in it. _

 

_ She steps toward the bed and puts her knee on the edge. It sags beneath her minimal weight, and creaks in protest. He has a sheet wrapped around his waist, and nothing else. She places his hand on his arm, on his tattoo, and gently rolls him onto his back. He looks like he’s about to smile. He opens his eyes. She can tell he’s happy to see her. She’s so relieved, she might be crying. She’s not sure. She’s been so worried about him. She’s been so alone. _

 

_ Her voice breaks. “Where have you been?” _

 

_ “I’m right here.” He smiles. _

 

_ “You’re here?” _

 

_ He opens his arms. “I’m here.” _

 

_ Bella falls into his embrace. _

 

_ For long minutes, he just holds her. She's trembling a little in his arms, so he grips her tighter. He's lying on his back, her body pressed against his side, head tucked under his chin, one hand curled into a fist pressed between their bodies, the other gripping his shoulder tightly. She feels so right in his arms. _

 

_ He feels a few warm tears fall onto his neck, and he strokes her hair gently. “What’s wrong, honey?” _

 

_ She is quiet for several seconds. “I’ve missed you. I went to your house, and you weren’t there.” _

 

_ He gently pulls her up, and gently kisses the tears from her cheeks. He struggles to remember the past few days, but his memories are all a jumble. He tells her the only thing he remembers, “I left to make you safe.” _

 

_ “From that?” she gestures to the window, shut with a heavy curtain. Just outside the door is a chill, a cold presence waiting to claim her. _

 

_ He looks toward the window. It’s too dark to see anything, and the curtain is pulled tightly at any rate. “You need to resist it, honey. To stay with me.” He a hand to gently grip the base of her skull. “And there’s more than just that,” he nods at the window, “that I have to protect you from. But we’re safe in here.” He brings her face down to his so he can place a sweet, soft kiss on her lips. _

 

_ She wants to get closer, wants to be completely surrounded by him, but doesn't know how to get any closer than she already is. She tilts her nose into the crook of his neck and breathes him in. It steadies her. Calms her.  As long as she stays here with him, she's safe. _

 

_ She starts to relax. She repeats, "You're here." _

 

_ He chuckles, "And so are you," and lowers one of his hands to rub soothing circles into the small of her back. She feels him drop small kisses into her hair as she drifts off to sleep, finally warm. _

 

_ A few hours later she rises to awareness slowly. She feels more rested than she has in days. A short nap in his arms is more refreshing than all night in his bed without him. She wonders offhandedly when was the last time she slept in her own bed. The night he crawled in her window? If Jacob isn't in her bed, there's no draw to it. Now that she's found him again, she's not letting him go. _

 

_ They're in basically the same position they were in when they fell asleep, except one of his large hands is cradling her bottom, while her arm has shifted to wrap around his waist. His breathing is deep and even. _

 

_ She lifts her head to look at him in the dim light from the streetlamp outside. The drawn curtains let very little light through. The cold presence outside is still there, waiting for her, but somehow she knows it can’t get in. She’s safe with Jacob. He looks so peaceful. She reaches up to stroke the side of his face. He sighs and tilts closer to her hand, but doesn’t awaken. She trails her fingers down his neck. She feels his reassuring, steady pulse. She moves her hand down to his chest, and watches it rise and fall with his even, slow breaths, and then moves down to stroke her fingers along his abdominal muscles. Left to right and back again. She leans down to kiss along his clavicle, and smiles when she sees him stiffen under the thin sheet. His grip tightens on her buttock, and she looks up at him. _

 

_ His eyes are open, and he’s peering at her through his lashes. She glances at his full mouth and wants to taste him. She scoots up so she can brush her lips against his, lightly. They part for her, and she slides her tongue out to trace lightly along his bottom lip. His breathing grows heavy, and he settles her so she’s straddling his hips. _

 

_ She can feel him lengthening against her core, through the fabric of her pants. Having him underneath her this way, feeling the effect she has on him, makes her feel strong. Desirable. He could overpower her in seconds. If he wanted to, he could flip her over, tear her clothes from her body, and take whatever he wanted. Do anything he wanted. There is nothing she could do to stop him. But they both know that she’s new at this, and the last thing he wants in the world is to hurt her, or scare her. He wants only to please her. To worship her. Against her lips, he whispers, “I want what you want, baby. I want you to feel good.” _

 

_ She kisses him more deeply as he squeezes her ass with both hands, moving her to grind against him, and he catches her moans with his mouth. _

 

_ He shifts his right hand to brush his fingers against her flank, where he knows she is sensitive. It sends tingles up and down her back as she continues to rock against him. She’s starting to soak through her pants. He can smell her, and feel her, and the evidence of her desire heightens his arousal even further. “I can feel you, baby, I can feel what you want. I want it too. So bad.” She wants to hear more of what he has to say, it’s such a turn on. But she can’t stop kissing him either, and needs his lips on hers. _

 

_ Neither of them can stand to tease or be teased tonight. They’ve been apart for too long. They can both feel the chill outside the window, and know their time together is limited. Come morning, she will be gone. _

 

_ She breaks away long enough to unbutton her shirt and pull it off her shoulders. She relishes his blatant stare as he takes her in. “You are so, so sexy, sweetheart.” Sweetheart, baby, honey, she loves hearing them in his husky, low voice. “Come back,” he reaches for her, “I need to taste you.” He shifts her up, unfortunately off his erection, so he can take her right nipple between his lips, and smiles to hear the noises she makes as he flicks it with the tip of his tongue. He keeps his left hand wrapped around her waist, and reaches his right thumb to stroke her other nipple lightly, feels it harden in his hand, and tortuous heat winds through her body and into her core. _

 

_ He plays with her breasts with his lips, his tongue, his hands, but she needs more. She’s burning, trembling, aching to be as close to him as possible. She needs all of him tonight. She moves off him to shuck off her pants, and settles upon him upright to rock her core against his hardness. They both groan at the contact. Her clit is throbbing, aching, and his cock sliding against it sends waves of pleasure through her with each pass. She can’t stand her body being apart from his, and leans forward so she can kiss him as she moves above him. He tangles his hand in her hair to keep her lips on his. He relishes the way her soft breasts press against his chest. He keeps one hand on her ass to guide her movements over his cock, to try to increase the pressure as much as possible. _

 

_ He’s so close to where he really wants to be. Her soft flesh feels wonderful against him. Her soft cries entice him. He loves that he can bring her such pleasure. He needs to be surrounded by her heat. Can barely wait for her to be ready so he can fuck her deep and slow, but he doesn’t want to hurt her. He knows how tight she is, wants so badly to feel her body clenching around his. But he also knows that he’s big, and even if he wasn’t, her first time would hurt anyway. He can’t stand that the most blissful experience of his life will be marred by her pain. _

__

_ But Bella can’t worry about that right now. She’s climbing higher and higher with each shift of her hips. In this position, her pussy dragging against his cock makes him feel almost as good as it does her. She relishes their mutual pleasure. His arms are tight against her, keeping her close. She feels loved and desired. _

 

_ He knows she’s close. He wants to send her over the edge, wants to feel her shiver above him. He knows how much the sound of his voice arouses her, can feel and smell the rush his words produce, so he starts to murmur against her. “Do you feel good, baby? Do you like my cock rubbing up against your pussy?” _

 

_ She whimpers an assent. _

 

_ “Me too, honey. You’re so wet, baby. So hot.” _

 

_ She rocks faster, angles her hips down a bit, and can’t suppress her moans any longer. _

 

_ “Do you want me to make you come, sweetheart?” _

 

_ Oh god. A hissed, “Yesss.” _

 

_ He turns her head, licks the sensitive spot behind her ear, and with his other hand reaches between their bodies and twists her nipple. “Then come now.” _

 

_ She obeys. _

 

_ He almost orgasms in response to her body’s movement on his. _ _ But he keeps himself in check. He will take her tonight. He can’t wait another day, and neither can she. _

 

_ He flips her onto her back as she comes down from her high. She arches her back to press her breasts against his chest. She doesn’t want him apart from her, not for a second. _

 

_ “I’m ready.” Her voice is calm and low. “I want you.” _

 

_ “Mmmm,” he murmurs. “You want me inside you, baby? You want me to make you come with my cock?” _

 

_ Ohhhhh _ _. She bites her bottom lip and nods. A vision flashes in his mind of her hovering over his face, the same expression on her face,  his finger deep inside her, his tongue swirling. He wants to do it again. _

 

_ He shifts above her, slides his cock against her clit again, hears her moan. He licks her lips gently. “Not yet, honey. I’m gonna fuck you with my hand. I’m gonna eat you out. Then I’m gonna take you, honey, and I’m gonna come inside you.” _

 

_ As he slides down her body, he hears his new favorite words, “God, Jacob. Yes. I want it. I want you.” _

 

_ He tugs her so she’s right on the edge of the bed, and he kneels and pulls her legs over his shoulders. He doesn’t tease her any longer. Neither of them can take it. He grips her hip in his left hand and immediately slides one finger into her cunt. He pumps gently at first. _

 

_ “Your pussy is so soft, honey. It’s so pretty.” She whimpers. He adds a second finger, still pumping. _

 

_ “I love that you shave, baby. You look so good.” She squirms and bucks on his hand. He thrusts his hand harder. _

 

_ “You’re so tight. You’re gonna feel so good on my cock.” Her head is thrashing from side to side, her fists balling the sheets with a death grip. He curls his fingers, and she comes apart. He doesn’t let her come down. He keeps stroking within her, keeps curling his fingers into the spot that makes her crazy. _

 

_ “I want you to do that again.” He adds a third finger and thrusts deeply, and adds his tongue. She keeps coming, and coming, stars behind her closed eyes, overcome by overlapping waves of pleasure. _

 

_ He laps at her clit, causing shocks of pleasure with each pass. She’s nearly in tears, bucking against his hand and face. He keeps licking and thrusting until she finally begs, “Fuck me, Jacob. I can’t take it any more. Fuck me.” _

 

_ So he does. _

 

_ Neither of them notice the temperature of the room rise as the cold shadow moves away from the window. _

 

_ He's as gentle as possible. He picks her up and places her back in the middle of the bed, and crawls on top of her. She's still having the aftershocks of orgasm, so when he slides just the head of his cock inside her, then stills, it triggers another wave over her. _

 

_ Oh, god. Now he's about to come, feeling the pulsing of her body on him. And he's barely in at all. He holds himself still until she comes back to earth. He nuzzles her nose with eskimo kisses, and brushes his lips against her cheeks. It gives him time to gather himself back together. He pulls out, pushes back in, just a little farther this time. _

 

_ She watches his face. His beautiful lips open on a great sigh, his eyes slide shut. He is tensed in concentration. He rocks in and out, still quite shallow, gentle as can be. He prepared her body well, between tongue and lips and hand, she's as aroused in a way she didn’t think possible. She knows he wants to thrust deeply but is holding himself back for her sake. The past few nights have proved what she already knew: her pleasure is much more important to him than his own. _

 

_ The shallow rocking feels wonderful. Just knowing what he's doing, and about to do, turn her on. She's ready for more, and tells him so. _

 

_ The heat of him, the size of him, causes her to burn. It hurts, but she needs more. She gasps as he stretches her body to new limits. He pauses, seated within her, and marvels at her body. He props himself on his left arm and brushes the thumb of his right hand against her nipple. _

 

_ "Ooooh," she sighs. "More." So he takes advantage of the fact that he's still rather shallow, and tilts up on his knees a bit. From this angle he can drag his cock against her engorged clit with each thrust, and she gasps. _

 

_ "Like that?" he asks. _

 

_ "Mmmmhmmm," she mumbles, unable to gather words. _

 

_ "Still want more?" he groans. _

 

_ She still can't quite figure out how to talk, and nods, biting her bottom lip. He slides forward, and makes it about halfway in. He stills so she can get used to him, and relishes her gentle pulse around him. He knows he's starting to hurt her, though, and it keeps him from losing control. _

 

_ For her the burn is intense, the pain starting to overtake the pleasure, and she starts to worry. She knows he's not in all the way. Not even close. She squirms a bit underneath him, trying to find a comfortable position, but instead causes a delicious friction that distracts her from the pain. She reaches down to grasp his buttocks. He relinquishes control to her, holding himself still above her, realizing she's bringing herself pleasure on his shaft. _

 

_ She's too unused to his girth to enjoy any more thrusting right now, but this gentle twisting of her hips allows her the dual pleasure of the gentle massage of his cock on her inner walls, and the pressure of his shaft on her clit. She begins to whimper as she moves around him, and it takes everything he has not to pound into her hard and fast. He manages to hold himself still and let her work herself on his body. He distracts himself by lowering his mouth to hers to capture the erotic sounds she's making. _

 

_ After a few agonizing minutes of his superhuman self control, trying his best to ignore the clenching of her pussy around his cock, he reaches between their bodies to gently twist her nipple, and she comes again, crying out, milking him, her already tight passage locking down on his cock. She sees stars. _

 

_ It undoes him, and he buries himself inside her. “I have to... I have to... Unhhhhh.” He can’t hold back any longer. She’s still coming. He pulls almost all the way out, and firmly, slowly, slides back in, all the way to the hilt. He stops himself, worried that his size is hurting her, but she’s still spasming around him, back arched, head thrown back, wailing. _

 

_ “I’m going to fuck you now, Bella. Is that okay?”  _

 

_ He manages to wait for her to groan, “Ohhhhhhhhhh, please,” and then his thrusts begin.  _

 

_ Nothing will ever be better than this. She wraps her legs around him loosely, to allow him room to move. He slides in and out a few more times before setting a steady rhythm, firmly pushing in all the way before pulling out. He keeps up slow pace, still careful with her tender body. _

 

_ “Am I hurting you, baby, or does it feel good?” _

 

_ “Mmmmm, Jacob. It hurts, it does, and it feels so damn good.” _

 

_ The slide of him in and out is delicious. She wasn’t lying, it does hurt. It stretches her more than she’s ever been stretched. “You’re so big, Jacob,” she moans. She feels so filled by him, so satisfied. Maybe if she hadn’t already come so many times it the pain would just feel like pain, but orgasm after orgasm has primed her for pleasure. Her whole body is humming. The lovely ache radiates out from her center all the way out, to her legs, to her arms, even to her scalp.  _

 

_ She wants. “It feels wonderful, Jacob, it does. I want more.” _

 

_ He lets out a strangled noise. “Like (thrust)... this? (thrust),” he grunts in between firmer, faster thrusts. _

 

_ When he hits her cervix with force, a whole new layer of sensation opens up in her body. “Mmm... yeah... unh... yeah... just... unh... more.”  _

 

_ Damn. If she wants it harder, he’s not going to last much longer. “Okay,” he says, as he lowers his right arm to pull her left leg over his shoulder. He needs to get himself under control, since the last few deep thrusts have him about to come apart. “You want it harder?” He stills himself as she nods, and talks to her to keep her keyed up. His voice is a growl. _

 

_ “You want to come one more time, baby?” _

 

_ “Yes,” she whispers. _

 

_ “You want me to pound my cock into you?” _

 

_ “Ohhhhh....” _

 

_ “You want me to fuck you hard?” _

 

_ “Please! Please! Move!” she demands. _

 

_ “Your wish is my command.” He pulls all the way out, nearly slipping out of her, and shoves himself back in. All. The. Way. She wails. He rams into her, again and again and again, his thrusts harder and deeper every time. He struggles to keep his eyes open, to see her when she comes apart around him, as he shoves and pistons into her body. He’s about to come any second now, so in desperation he adds a twist to his hips as his hips meet hers. The drag against her clit. The pounding pressure on her cervix. The aching stretch of his huge cock. Her world shatters, and as he feels her body stiffen and arch against his, he allows his thrusts to finally, finally degenerate into wild fucking, and he explodes seconds after her with a great roar. _


	10. Chapter 10

X-x-x-x-X

Sunday

X-x-x-x-X

 

A clap of thunder startles Bella to consciousness, and to a freezing room. Why is there a cold breeze? She hears driving rain. It sounds much too close. She wants to burrow further under her blankets and return to room 128. Wherever that is. Instead, she cracks an eye open to find the room empty, the window wide open, rain soaking her desk. As she realizes she's alone, and in the wrong room, the hole in her chest reopens. Jacob had healed her last night, had reminded her what it felt to love and be loved. But it never actually happened because she drove him away.

 

She's not sure when Edward left, but he must have been in a hurry in order to leave her window wide open with a storm on the way. She recalls her intimate dream and flushes despite the chill. She hurries out of bed to close the window, and then dives back under the covers. She needs a warm, soft body in the bed to warm her up. Not a cold, hard one. She needs her best friend to warm the chill of her heart and of her body. But she hurt him. She said awful, untrue things and can't she unsay them. She wants to go to LaPush. Wants to find him and say she's sorry. Wants to kiss it better. Wants to make it up to her with her words and her body.

 

As she feels the ache in her chest, she feels a different ache between her legs. Jacob can complete her like no one else can. She's not sure how she knows, but is fairly certain that her dreams are accurate. Jacob would learn to bring her pleasure with the same focus and care he would take with her heart.

 

She's becoming aroused thinking about it. She can't help but be glad she's alone. Edward would doubtless make her feel self conscious about her body's responses, and he would (accurately) assume she was thinking about Jacob. She flashes back to the night before. She's actually a little embarrassed at how generous her imagination was with him. His length, his girth, his heat. She wonders what he really looks like. She's tempted to slip her hand beneath her waistband, but she's never sure when Edward will climb in her window. She considers parts of Jacob she doesn't have to imagine. She licks her lips as he thinks of his own. God, his mouth. It's no wonder she has conjured such explicit fantasies about him going down on her. His full lips and pink tongue were made for kissing, for licking, for biting. For whispering things in her ear to make her blush. His mouth on her body was perfection.

 

She has to stop this train of thought before it gets entirely out of hand. She really has no idea if Edward is coming back. She's fairly certain he left the night before due to her explicit dream, but he was also distracted before she went to bed. Something is going on. Otherwise, there wouldn’t have been a wolf on patrol outside her home. She wants to know what it is. Edward won't tell her, she's sure of it, and she can't exactly call Jacob up and casually ask him. None of the Cullens will go against Edward if he wants her left in the dark. Maybe she can figure out if a wolf is outside now, and drag it out of them. That is, if they're speaking with her after what she's done to Jacob. Maybe she can also find out how he is.

 

She wants to see him, but isn't ready to fully give herself over to him, although she's now figuring out how badly she wants to. She's torn, because she can no longer fool herself into believing that her love for Jacob is any less than her love for Edward. But nothing else has changed. The Volturi will still come. Jacob might still imprint on someone else and leave her someday. And she still has no idea how to be without Edward. Or how to give up his family. So she wants to go to Jacob, let him fill the dark places of her heart, but can't tell him what he wants to hear. She knows she's being selfish and cruel. She need to either choose him and be with him, or she needs to let him go. She has no idea how to either.

 

She decides to start with the hopefully simpler task of figuring out what's going on. As much as the wolves probably hate her, they're honest with her, brutally so, so she'll start with them.

 

She quickly showers and dresses, heading to the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee. Maybe she can bribe the wolf with a dry place to stay and a warm beverage. It’s awful outside, 108.9 body temperature or not. Charlie is gone to the station already, so she can invite them in. First, she had to figure out who it is. Paul's not coming in, no matter what she says or does, and she doesn't think she can face Leah. So she peers out the window, intently searching the forest for signs of a wolf. It's hard to see very deep into the foliage on a good day, and in this storm is nearly impossible. She spends long, painful minutes staring before a sandy wolf appears at the treeline and tilts his head at her quizzically. Finally, some luck! She breathes a sigh of relief.

 

She opens the back door and calls out to him. He steps away briefly, returning in human form, and she waves him over.

 

"Bella, do you need something? You've been staring out here for, like, ten minutes."

 

"Come on in, Seth, and get dry."

 

He looks back into the woods before shrugging and following her in, leaving a puddle on the kitchen floor. She goes to get him a towel. She hands it to him, and he accepts it gratefully, running it rapidly over his hair. When he hands it back, she tries to plaster a fake smile on her face. “Coffee?”

 

He turns to look at the coffeemaker. “Um, sure. Okay.”

 

She wonders if he’s as mad at her as she expected all the other wolves to be. She had hoped that Seth would be easier to talk to, Seth who seems to like Edward perfectly well, who’s usually free and easy and ready with a smile. “Cream or sugar?”

 

“Yeah, okay, uh, both?” Why is he asking her? She really thought it would be easier to talk to Seth.

 

She hands it to him, and he stares intently into the cup and sips at it slowly. “Thanks, this is good.”

 

She decides to start on an easy topic. “It’s, like, literally the least I could do. I wanted to thank you for what you did for me, Seth.”

 

“Oh, yeah, of course. Sure. It’s nothing.” He’s still looking into his coffee cup. This is getting her nowhere.

 

“It’s not nothing, Seth. If it weren’t for you, I’d be dead. I’m grateful to all of you, of course, but if Edward had been the only one with me on that mountaintop, well, I doubt he could have fought off both those vampires at once. You put yourself on the line for me, and I need to thank you.”

 

He’s still not meeting her eyes. “No, it’s no big deal. It’s what we’re made for. And there’s basically no situation possible in which Ja...” He stumbles over Jacob’s name, “Uh, in which we would have left you up there without one of us as backup. It just happened to be me.” He’s still looking everywhere but at her. “But, you know, you’re welcome.”

 

Okay, this isn’t going well. Seth puts the empty cup into the sink. He looks like he’s trying to leave already. She abruptly stops him. “Seth, why are you guys still patrolling here? With Victoria dead, I thought you could all take a break.”

 

He’s facing the sink, away from her, but turns his head partly toward her, still not looking her in the eye. Bluntly, he asks, “Didn’t Edward tell you?”

 

Her heart sinks. “No, he doesn’t like to worry me. But I think I deserve to know, don’t you?”

 

He looks at the floor. “Of course. I just figured you knew...." He's interrupted by a knock at the front door.

 

Bella goes to answer it, and is surprised to find Leah Clearwater. She thinks offhandedly that it's unfair that she, Bella Swan, would look like a drowned rat after coming in from the storm, while Leah looks like she's been in a modeling shoot involving a luxurious pool and a cabana boy. She pushes her way past Bella and into the kitchen, calling out to her brother, "I'm here to save you, kid, go on home to Mom."

 

It sounds insulting, but Seth only looks grateful. "Great, thanks." He finally looks up to meet Bella's gaze, and immediately blushes and turns away. "Thanksforthecoffeebye," he mumbles, and rushes out the back door.

 

Bella turns to Leah with her confusion written plainly on her face. Leah is smirking. "What's going on, Leah?"

 

“Well, you can hardly blame the kid for being embarrassed." She gestures at the open door. "Personally, I thought it was hilarious; your sparkly-ass boyfriend flying out of your bedroom in the middle of the night, looking like somebody had set him on fire. I wish I had been here to see it in person, but this is, like, the only time I've ever been happy about the pack mind. Laughed my ass off when I saw what happened. But poor Seth, he’s not exactly used to overhearing girls’ wet dreams, especially ones that involve his pack brothers.” Bella’s eyes widen. Oh God. She’ll never be able to look Seth in the eye again. None of the wolves, actually. It’s a damn good thing she’s still planning on being turned into a vampire. They’ll never want to see her, and she won’t have to live with the humiliation of speaking with them ever again.

 

Leah continues. “I’m not blind, Swan. I get it. The boy’s hotter than hot.” She decides to screw with Bella for a bit. Bella really, really deserves to be screwed with. “I mean, I see all of the guys, all of the time, and they’ve all got serious bodies on them. But Jake, well, Jake’s meant to be Alpha, you know? And it shows.”

 

She’s shocked. Leah and Jacob? Is that happening? “Is he... Are you...”

 

Leah crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow. “So what if we were?”

 

“I just never...” Her mouth is hanging open a little.

 

“You think that because you don’t want him, no one else will? Good luck with that, Swan. Other girls aren’t as blind or as batshit crazy as you are. They can see a perfect 10 when one is staring them right in the face. He’s been holding out for you, obviously, but your unwavering devotion to the act of suicide is getting sort of old. He’ll wise up sooner or later. Probably sooner, now that he’s far enough away that you can’t keep stringing him along.”

 

"Far enough away?" she asks. Now Bella is embarrassed and concerned.

 

"Prince Charming didn't see fit to fill you in, huh? About the vamp that got away?" Bella shakes her head. Leah rolls her eyes. "Figures. Looks like one of the newborns escaped from the battle. It's been hanging around. Jake left to take care of it."

 

"Left? Where?"

 

"North." Leah says, unhelpfully.

 

Bella is growing alarmed. "Did anybody go with him?"

 

Leah shakes her head. "Took off on his own. It's dangerous, yes, but there's not much anyone could do to stop him. He thinks the leech is after you, so he went to take it down. Sam could've alpha ordered him not to go, but I think we all know it probably wouldn't have worked. He wasn't exactly in the best frame of mind, you know. Had just gotten your wedding invitation."

 

Now she's mad. "What? I didn't want to send him one. I didn't want to hurt him that way. It must have been Edward," a pleading note in her voice.

 

Leah barks out a harsh laugh, and glares at her. Screwing with Bella Swan is fun, but she’s too infuriated to talk any longer. "Didn't want to hurt him? A little late for that, don't you think? Are you kidding me?" She turns to the door and opens it. 

 

She's halfway across the yard when Bella calls out to her, "Is he okay, Leah?"

 

She has turned partway around, and is obviously trying to decide what to say. She settles on honesty. "Nobody knows. He's pretty far away, so it's easy for him to shield his thoughts. I really have no idea."

 

She takes off into the woods.

 

Bella shuts the door and leans against it. Before she knows it, she's sitting on the floor, knees pulled up to her chest, arms wrapped tightly around her. The hole in her chest is gaping open. He's gone, and he's going to get himself killed. What has she done?

 

The rest of the day passes in a daze. She doesn't see Leah again, and for that she is grateful. Edward never shows up, although they were planning on spending the day together. It doesn't escape her attention that she doesn't miss him, and is glad to be alone with her black thoughts. What she really wants is to go LaPush, but now there's really nothing there for her. She even has the notion to go sit alone in Jake's garage, but rejects it as pointless and embarrassing. She would doubtless run into one of the wolves, one who was privy Seth's memory, and then she would have to jump off the cliff to escape the shame.

When nighttime finally falls, and she has an excuse to go to bed, she's grateful. The only person who can make her feel better is gone, but if she's lucky, she'll see him in her dream. 

 

_ The door to the little red house again proclaims 128, and the knob opens easily. But before she turns it, she knows the room is empty. There is a chill on the metal knob that wasn't there the night before. Her suspicions are confirmed. She strips down to her underwear and climbs into the bed. She's happy to wait all night if it means she can see him. But he never comes. So she tosses and turns, and drifts and drowses, images of warm smiles, open arms, and black-haired babies flitting through her mind. _

 

The next morning, exhausted and unrefreshed, she finds Edward sitting in her rocking chair, looking at her sadly. He gets straight to the point, asking quietly, "What do you want, my love?"

 

She has no answer, but she’s getting very practiced at lying. “You, Edward, just you.”

 

X-x-x-x-X

Sunday

X-x-x-x-X

 

Jacob rolls over in bed. Straight into a sticky mess rather than a soft, warm body. He heaves a sigh. Why are the best experiences of his life a figment of his imagination? And should he start taping a plastic bag around his dick before he goes to sleep? At least he is saved the embarrassment of having someone else clean it for him. This motel isn't exactly nice enough to have daily maid service. He's pretty sure that there are coin operated washers and dryers somewhere in the building. He'll have to scrounge up some of those ridiculously named coins the Canadians call loonies. Which reminds him; his debit card has enough money to last him a couple weeks here, but not much else. He's been saving up some cash from working on people's cars, but staying in a motel, no matter how cheap and dirty, isn't exactly affordable. He would just stay in the woods as his wolf, but exploring this city won't work in that form. He hopes it doesn't take long to kill this vamp. He has no plans to move to Canada. 

 

After throwing his sheets and filthy shorts in the wash, he heads out to eat. He buys a toothbrush at a drugstore, and drops his things back at the motel and switches his load into the dryer. He heads back out to the last spot he had the trail. This city seems like a great place for a vampire to lose him. 

 

He starts by going in generally concentric circles, gradually widening. He runs across the trails of at least two other vampires this way. He's tempted to follow them, but he's not here for them. It makes sense, he supposes. Vancouver is rainy and cloudy, so a vampire can actually go outside during the day. It's big enough to offer plenty of diversions for a bored immortal. And best of all, big cities like this are full of transients and travelers, addicts and runaways, easy victims who won't be missed. Jacob doesn't intend to become one of them. 

 

Twice he also comes across evidence that he is in the right place. The scent is heavily degraded in the first location. It's the parking lot outside a high school. There's no shelter over the lot, so the scent was almost entirely washed away after the previous night’s rain. But he explores carefully, and right against the school building, under the eaves of the roof where the rainwater couldn't strike directly, the scent is stronger. The vampire had stood up against a window. He can even smell where it pressed its hands against the glass. What was it doing? Looking inside? He would be worried about the safety of the teenagers who go to school here, but they're on vacation. What else would a vampire be doing at a high school, other than looking for prey?

 

That train of thought reminds him, unpleasantly, of the Cullens, and their absurd decision to go to high school for the rest of eternity. If he had to live forever, he wouldn't spend it going to high school again and again. And if things don't go his way, he could be around for a very, very long time. He desperately hopes this isn't the case. He can only think of two reasons he might have to extend his lifespan by continuing to phase. Neither is pleasant. First, that LaPush keeps being overrun by vampires, and he has to in order to protect his home. He wouldn't like it, but he'd do it if necessary. Second, and worse yet, that he might imprint on a child the way Quil has, and need to keep phasing to stay young for her. He physically shudders at the thought. To practically raise a child, watch her grow up, and then develop sexual feelings for her when she comes of age? He'd kill himself before giving in to such a thing. 

 

He finishes exploring the school. Unfortunately, there is no way for him to tell where the vamp went when it left. So he continues in his outward spiral. If he doesn't pick up the trail again, at least he can come back and stake out the school. Maybe it will come back. He stops in a thrift store to pick up a couple changes of clothes. At this rate, he could be here for a few days. 

 

Just as he's about to take a break for dinner, he finds another clue. Today has actually been quite sunny, so he's seen no actual vampires. But he can smell evidence of them. As he makes his circular route outward, he realizes that many trails are converging in a northwesterly direction. He doesn't distinguish his prey in particular, but the converging trails are too tempting to pass up. He follows.

 

The paths lead him from the southeastern outskirts of the city through the heart of downtown. In this area, there are so many trails going in different that it becomes difficult to discern if there's a pattern. But he persists and eventually reaches his destination. Upon arrival, he immediately figures out why it's a vampire haven. Stanley Park. An otherwise lovely 1000 acre park set on the northernmost peninsula of the city. It's heavily wooded, a tourist attraction, and surrounded on three sides by water. Perfect for hunting and killing humans along secluded paths, and disposing of their bodies in the water nearby. An obvious place for a hungry vampire to look for a convenient snack.

 

He arrives as dusk is falling. He still can't distinguish his vampire's trail in particular, but chances are good that it will pop up eventually. He can be patient, and right now it seems as likely a place to find his vampire as the high school he found earlier in the day. He finds a park bench along a well used trail and settles in. A few joggers pass by, but it's late and the park is becoming deserted.

 

He is about to drift off to sleep when a pretty Asian girl rounds the bend pushing a sno-cone cart. She's probably just getting off work, on her way to put the cart in storage and go home for the evening. She gives Jacob a shy smile, and he nods politely back. He's nearly forgotten about her when a breeze picks up, carrying the unmistakable, sickly sweet, decayed scent of a vampire. Jake immediately jumps up and sprints into the breeze. The sno-cone girl is heading straight for it. He skids around the next bend and is horrified to see a tall figure looming over the girl. It has dirty looking black shoulder length hair, nearly translucent pale skin, a sleazy smile, and unmistakable deep red eyes. It's grinning madly at the girl, who is bent awkwardly backward over her cart unsuccessfully trying to put space between herself and her predator. It hasn't noticed Jacob yet.

 

The vampire grabs a handful of the girl's hair and bringa it to its nose, taking a deep whiff. "Mmmmm. I'm not even hungry, but it would be a sin to pass you up, you lovely thing."

 

Jacob struggles mightily against the urge to phase. He's standing well in view of the girl and can't have her witness his transformation. He can't walk away to phase either. By the time he gets back, fast as he is, it could be too late for her.

 

She is shaking, terrified. She can barely get words out, but in a shaky voice says, "Take whatever you want. I earned a lot today, and it's all in the cart. Just please don't hurt me..." Her voice trails off as the vampire traces the column of her throat with a long, pointed finger. 

 

It smiles lasciviously down at her and replies, "You can beg as much as you want, my dear. It only makes this more enjoyable for me."

 

Jacob makes a quick decision. If he can't phase here to take it out, and he can't leave long enough to do so, he will just have to lead it away. It's not the smartest decision, since he is no match for the vampire in human form, but he has little choice. He steps forward onto the path.

 

"Hey asshole! Leave her alone!" 

 

The vampire blinks at him, startled. It grabs the girl by the waist. "Ah, and here we have a hero, eh? I'd be happy to kill you first so she can see what's about to happen to her. Nothing like a little terror to spice up a meal."

 

Jacob steps forward enough that the vampire can smell him. The girl is staring at him with wide eyes. "I'd like to see you try, leech."

 

The vampire narrows his eyes and relaxes his hold on the girl. "What are you?" he asks in a low voice.  

 

Jacob growls. "Why don't you come here and find out."

 

He waits until the vampire steps away from the girl and toward him. He knows he's got the vampire hooked by the look in its eye. "Catch me if you can," he taunts, knowing full well that the vampire will easily reach him. He calculates just how fast he needs to run to reach the trees, and turns on his heel to sprint away at a speed just exceeding that of a normal human. 

 

He manages to get into the treeline, and even throws off his clothes, before the vampire catches up with him. It probably would have caught him already, but it was so startled by the sight of him undressing as he ran, that it slowed down a bit. Just as he feels its chill of its fingers on his arm, he explodes.

 

He twists quickly to face the vampire. They’ve made it into a small clearing. The vampire is standing stock still, staring at him incredulously. “What.... What....”

 

He distantly hears his pack brothers screaming in his mind. They want to know what’s going on, they want to help him, but he’s 200 miles away. He tunes them out, growls, and crouches to spring. The leech barely rolls out of the way, but he manages to take off its right hand with his first move. He spits the disgusting thing out of his mouth. This vampire isn’t a frenzied, powerful newborn like the ones he has fought, nor is it an experienced soldier like Jasper, and it’s alone. It was expecting an easy meal out of him, and has no idea what it has gotten itself into. It’s clearly trying to decide whether to run away or stay and fight. He doesn’t plan on giving it that choice.

 

He rushes it again while it’s turned partly away from him, his large jaw wrapped around its side. It beats at him with its stump of an arm as he tears a chunk out of its chest and abdomen. It manages to get its other hand on him, but only on the fur just above his right paw, and he slides out of its grip losing only a little russett fur in the process. 

 

The thing is screaming now. He’s more worried about it attracting attention than he is about losing this battle. The vampire just doesn’t know what it’s doing. It has probably never had to fight for anything before. He’s gotten lucky and he knows it, although he hears his pack brothers faintly in the back of his mind cheering him on wildly. 

 

The vampire has realized that running away will only expose its back to the great wolf, so it turns to face him. It changes tactics, suddenly barrelling toward him, but doesn’t bother to feint left or right, just guns straight for him. The move is much too straightforward. With just one leap and the screech of ripping metal, Jacob has its head separated from its body, and the fight is over as quickly as it began.

 

He efficiently tears it to pieces, but then has a new quandary. What is he supposed to do with the parts? He’s in a public park. He can’t just set them on fire. And he can’t dump them in the water like the vampires do with their victims. They’ll just find each other and reform. 

 

He starts by moving the head far from the rest of the body, and runs to find his clothes. With his luck, he’ll have saved the girl, killed the vamp, and then get arrested for public indecency. He redresses just in time to see the sno-cone girl talking to a police officer, and pointing toward the woods where he’s standing. Thankfully, it’s quite dark, and they can’t see him at all, although his vision allows him to see them just fine. He runs back to the remains, stealing trash bags out of bins along the way. 

 

He’s irrationally irritated at the girl. She’s doing the sensible thing by getting the police. She is so much more sensible than his Bella. Than Edward’s Bella, he corrects himself darkly, who would have no doubt tried to befriend the vampire before it killed her. The sno-cone girl probably thinks she’s doing him a favor by sending the cops into the woods after him. But really, she’s just making his life difficult. Killing vampires is easy. Hiding vampire parts from the prying eyes of the police is hard. 

 

He ends up separating the pieces into three garbage bags, and climbing up some of the more accessible trees and stashing them there until the police pass through. There are only two officers looking, though, and they have no idea what they’re actually looking for. He spies at them from above until he’s confident they’re gone. 

 

By then it’s the middle of the night, and he only has a vague idea what to do with the vampire parts. He takes the bag with the head in it, and heads out of the park. He could easily carry all three at once, but it would look much too suspicious if anyone were to see him. Especially since the parts are wiggling, horribly. He figures he has to find one of two things. A hospital might have an incinerator for medical waste, but the likelihood he can get in and out of such a place and find what he’s looking for is low. Not to mention that he has to do it three times with three bags. Better yet, he needs to find a landfill. They’ll have an industrial incinerator, and will hopefully be less well guarded than a hospital. 

 

He does eventually find such an industrial incinerator, but it’s miles from the park. He doesn’t get caught, although he garners odd looks from the few people out and about who manage to see him. 

 

By the time he finishes his ugly task and gets back to his motel, the sun is rising. He’s surprised to find that his laundry is still sitting in its dryer, so he drags it back to his room. He’s exhausted and covered in awful vampire stench. He has to shower twice before he can no longer smell the vampire on himself. Then he tosses a sheet loosely over the bed, wraps a towel around his waist, and falls over onto the mattress. He’s asleep before he hits the pillow. He does not dream.


	11. Chapter 11

X-x-x-x-X

Monday

X-x-x-x-X

 

On her way to work in the morning, Edward asks if he can take her to lunch. She agrees, although she doesn't really relish the idea of him staring at her while she eats. It's bound to be awkward anyway. He knows she's been thinking about Jacob constantly, and he knows how inappropriate some of those thoughts have been. Similarly, she knows he's been hiding the threat of the rogue newborn from her, not to mention the fact that he must have known Jacob had left, and he didn't say anything. She no longer knows exactly what it is that she wants from Edward, but the truth would be a good place to start.

 

The day crawls along. Mike is animated as usual, keeping up a running commentary of chatter, talking about his plans for the fall. She wishes she could be as enthusiastic about her own future. For months, she couldn’t even contemplate having a future without Edward in it. But upon his return, her relief at having him back was overshadowed by Victoria and the newborns, and she wasn’t even sure she would have a future. Now all of eternity itself stretches before her, and she doesn’t know if she actually wants it.

 

It’s tempting; how could it not be? Edward’s feelings are unchanging and static. He has declared that he will love her forever. He has waited for her for a hundred years, ignoring the advances of women much more alluring than plain Bella Swan. She has spent her entire life being firmly ignored by the entire male gender. But this model of perfection has declared her to be his one and only, ignoring the advances of his equals, vampires whose faces and bodies are perfection, even spurning Rosalie. Who is she to turn him down, having caught his eye? He says he will never leave her, will never love another. His perfect golden eyes will never wander to another woman. He will only ever want her. If she turns, she’ll even be worthy of his attentions. Her human life is a collection of sad uncertainties. Edward Cullen has offered her a guarantee.

 

Moreover, she wants invulnerability; of that she is certain. She’s sick and tired of being afraid. It’s bad enough that Edward had to save her from Tyler’s van and from the men who threatened her in Port Angeles. Worse yet that the Cullens had to rescue her from James. She is weary of sending her loved ones off to the front lines, of shielding her body with the lives of others, huddling in fear while she waits to hear whether they survived. Bad enough that Jacob was hurt. She couldn’t live with the guilt if a wolf died for her. They’re young, and brash, and bold, and they are supposed to have their entire lives before them. They’re supposed to get married, have children, and grow old. She can’t stand the idea that one of them might not have that future, all because of her. If she is turned, she will protect herself. She will never ask anyone to put themselves at risk for her again.

 

There are other perks too, of course. She won’t mind being beautiful or eternally young. She has spent her entire life feeling plain and uninteresting; the opposite will be nice for a change.

 

And she could do a lot worse for a family. She truly admires Carlisle, Esme is more of a natural mother than her own, Alice is one of her best friends, and Emmett already feels like her big brother. But those reasons are honestly not why she’s chosen Edward. If he turns her, she can stop being scared.

 

But this time, her choice hasn’t made Jacob safe. She thought that after the newborn battle, he could finally rest. She has broken his heart and her own in the process, and for what? She could live with the idea that she’s lost him forever, that she hurt him irreparably, if it was for a reason. If it was for his future. That he would someday meet his imprint, fall in love, and make a life. She could watch from afar and know she had done the right thing. Instead, he has run off after yet another vampire hell-bent on killing her. He barely survived the last battle, and during that one he was surrounded by his pack and the Cullens. This time, he’s alone, and rushing headlong into the unknown.

 

She is trapped in these thoughts when Edward arrives to take her to lunch. She only has an hour, so they pick up a sandwich from a local deli and head to a nearby park. The sky is overcast, but there is no rain, so they can sit outside. She doesn’t know what to say, so she says nothing. He is looking at her with a pained expression on his face, and is smart enough to start with an apology.

 

“I’m sorry, my love, I didn’t want to worry you. You’ve had so much to handle lately. I couldn’t bear to add to your burden.”

 

She wants to yell at him, to be angry for keeping her in the dark. To remind him that his misguided attempts to protect her do not always end well, and are not appreciated. Instead, she stays silent, and waits for what he has to say. She takes a bite of her food.

 

“You’ve been safe the whole time. I promise. You know I don’t like the wolves, but they won my respect during the battle. I know they will not leave you unprotected. Neither will I.”

 

He waits for her to respond, and when she does not, he continues, “Alice is watching out for the newborn who escaped. She doesn’t actually know who it is, so she’s not having much success. She doesn’t know what to look for. But it seems to be gone for the moment, at any rate.”

 

She’s really not worried about herself right now. There is only one vampire, so far as anyone can tell, and between the wolves and the Cullens, over a dozen powerful creatures are watching out for her.

 

She swallows, and the food feels like rocks in her throat and in her stomach. She gets to the point. “Where is he?”

 

Edward frowns and looks at the ground. “I haven’t spoken with the wolves, Bella.”

 

She glares at him, “We both know you don’t need to talk to them to find out what’s going on.”

 

He sighs and looks away. It hurts him to speak of Jacob. “Canada. He’s in Canada.” He gives away as little as possible.

 

She waits, and when no more information is forthcoming, prompts, “And?”

 

Like Seth the day before, he won’t meet her eyes. “He’s shielding his thoughts from the pack, which he can do because of the distance, to some extent. I know that he’s following the trail of the newborn who escaped. I know that he ran into some trouble last night, but he made it out. The pack was in an uproar. They saw him killing a male vampire.”

 

Oh God. He put himself in danger. He fought a vampire all by himself. She knows this isn’t how the wolves are meant to attack. They are supposed to work in a pack. They are supposed to be able to see an opponent from their own eyes, as well as the eyes of their brothers. They are supposed to fight with multiple set of jaws and powerful claws. If one is rendered incapacitated, another is supposed to be right there to stand over it and defend it.

 

Jacob has no one. Jacob is alone. Jacob, who threatened to get himself killed during the newborn battle if she would not recognize her feelings for him, the ones he saw in front of him all along. Jacob, who kissed her more passionately than she had ever been kissed, who showed her with that one kiss the fullness of the life she is turning down. Jacob, her other love, her other life. Jacob has gone off by himself to protect her, right after she tore out his heart. Again.

 

She tore out her own heart when she tore out his. The space is gaping and bleeding. But unlike when Edward left, and Jacob filled the hole in her chest with his love and light and laughter, Edward cannot fill this emptiness, no matter how much he wants to.

 

He sees the grief and terror written plainly on her face, and tries to reassure her. She is hyperventilating, her lungs gasping for air, her hands trembling, her chest heavy with pressure. “He’s all right, Bella. I know he made it out alive. He didn’t even feel a scratch.”

 

She steadies her breathing. “Is he coming back?” _Is he coming home to me?_

 

He shakes his head reluctantly. “Not yet, my love. I don’t think so. The vampire he killed wasn’t the one he was looking for.”

 

The panic is back. She knows he won’t stop now. He could still get hurt. Could still die, alone and far from home, without his brothers by his side. Her last words to him could be of her sending him away.

 

She needs to get away. She even has a good excuse; her lunch break is nearly over. She stands, unsteadily, drops the remainder of her sandwich in the trash, and starts walking back to Newton’s. Edward chases after her, his words of comfort changing as he becomes defensive. They never talked about her dreams again, never acknowledged her feelings for Jacob which are eclipsing her feelings for him.

 

“It only goes to show how dangerous he is, Bella. A wolf who can take down vampires on his own, without his pack around him, is a dangerous beast indeed. It’s best that you’re not near him right now. It’s for the best that he’s gone.” This argument, that she is safer with Edward than she is around Jacob, has always been patently absurd. She has always recognized this, even while being otherwise blinded by Edward.

 

She spins on her heel so quickly that he nearly walks into her. She points a finger at his chest. “Don’t, Edward, just don’t.” She opens the front door to the store.

 

“He can take care of himself, Bella!” he calls out as the door shuts behind her.

 

She looks up to find Mike staring at her, his curiosity entirely unmasked. She knows her skin is flushed and she has a scowl on her face, but thankfully her panic attack consisted of terror without tears.

 

“He’s not letting you go see your friend, is he Bella?”

 

She frowns more. “What?”

 

Innocent, open Mike Newton, Mike whose life consists of no monster and no magic, sees right to the heart of the matter. He shrugs, “I mean, if I was your fiance, I’d be jealous too. Of your friend, Jacob? Who got hurt in that motorcycle accident? I mean, I’d be jealous too, but I’d have the good sense to be a little less obvious about it. Come on, he just comes off looking possessive and controlling this way, right?”

 

Is this so obvious to everyone but her? She hides in the storeroom doing inventory for the rest of her shift. She can’t bring herself to face Mike, or any customers. She’s too angry at Edward, but more angry at herself, and too terrified for Jacob. And she still doesn’t know what she wants. If Jacob were here, she could talk to him. He’d probably make her see things more clearly. But he’s gone, and he might never come back.

 

Until then, she’s just going to have to figure out what she wants. She knows she wants him now, needs him now, loves him now, is in love with him now. But despite being mad at Edward, she really does think he means well, and she isn’t prepared to walk away. She isn’t ready to give up invulnerability, his family, or the promise of eternal love. Most of all, she isn’t ready to give up her dream of never being afraid ever again. An (ever shrinking) part of her wants to be turned immediately, not to wait for the wedding. If she was a vampire, she could go to Canada herself, fight the newborn herself, and bring Jacob back home. Only he would never speak to her again. And she would have truly lost him, forever.

 

Her black thoughts consume her until she climbs in bed that night. Edward has the good sense not to come to her before she goes to sleep. She prays for relief. She prays that when she falls asleep, he will be waiting for her in the little red house, in room 128. She prays that he can push away her fears with his warmth, with his love, and with his body.

 

X-x-x-x-X

 

Jacob wakes in the middle of the day, the sun still high in the sky. He recalls no dreams. He was so tired after dismantling the vampire in Stanley Park, and then spending all night disposing of its remains, that he forgot to eat dinner. His stomach is completely empty. It feels like it’s trying to eat itself. He flips on the television as he dresses, and looks for a weather report. He wants to know how long he has until it rains again and washes away any fresh trails. Why couldn’t the vampire have run south, to sunny, dry California? Where it would be easier to track? He’s tempted to start at the school again. He will doubtless find vampires if he returns to Stanley Park and waits long enough, but he’s not sure he’ll find the one he’s looking for. So he might as well go back to the only place he knows it has been recently. According to the weather channel, he should have a few hours before heavy rain sets in.

 

He quickly makes up his bed and heads out for food, and then walks to the school. Unfortunately, there is no evidence the vampire had been back. On closer inspection, however, he realizes he missed the scent of the vampire on the fire escape. It’s pretty far above his head, which is why he didn’t notice it the first time. He smacks himself for missing something so obvious. The rain didn’t even wash the scent away since the ladder is protected somewhat by the wall of the school. He should have learned to check everything overhead after climbing the tree in Forks near Bella’s home that proved the vampire has figured out to evade him by sticking to heights. He quickly checks for spying eyes, sees none, jumps up to grab the ladder, and hauls himself up to the rooftop. On the roof, the scent is washed away, but he has learned his lesson. He needs to pay attention to escape routes other than the ground. There are old oaks around the school, which backs up onto a wooded area. It may have left by way of the treetops rather than running along the ground.

 

He thinks he could actually travel the same way, absurd as it is. It’s broad daylight, and he really doesn’t want anyone to see him jumping from tree to tree like Tarzan. But if he waits until nightfall, the rain will have started, and then he may lose the trail entirely. He doesn’t have much of a choice. Luckily, the wooded area is in the back of the school, away from the main traffic and prying eyes. He grits his teeth, checks quickly for observers, and jumps from the rooftop, agilely catching a sturdy branch and pulling himself into the tree. He was right. The scent is faint but present in the middle branches. The tree itself is somewhat protected from the rain by its own foliage. He can easily figure out which way it went from here, and starts jumping from tree to tree. Maybe he should phase into a monkey now. Or a chimpanzee. Those things are fierce.

 

Now he’s sure it knows he is on its trail. There is no other conceivable reason that it would be traveling in this manner, if not to get away from him. He must have gotten so close to it. Maybe that first night he was just moments away from it. Why else would it have fled this way? If only it hadn’t been raining. He would probably have killed it and been on his way home by now.

 

In this manner, he makes his way through the small forested area and emerges in a residential neighborhood. Here it returned to the ground. He can’t follow its meandering path directly, but much of this neighborhood is made up of three story apartment complexes. The carparks are sheltered somewhat from the rain, and there are walkways between the buildings which also afford some protection. He is able to piece together a rough path. How creepy. It stopped along more than one apartment on the way. He doesn’t approach any closely enough to tell, since it is still daylight, and he doesn’t want to get arrested for being a peeping tom, but he’s pretty sure it went right up to windows in the same way it went up to the school, and pressed itself up against the glass to look in.

 

The trail ends in a bus shelter on the main intersection at the edge of the neighborhood. Crap. If it got on a bus, he’ll never figure out where it ended up. He waits long enough to realize that there is only one bus line that stops here, and it leads downtown. He can hop on, and explore each stop along the way to see if he can figure out where it got off. It’ll be slow going, but it could be done. What he really needs is to obtain a transit map, and explore each stop on its own. But It’s starting to rain. By the time he gets what he needs, and heads back into town, the scent will be washed away. Again. The best he can do is ride the bus to the end of the line, make note of the stops, and see if there’s any likely places the vampire might have gotten off. He can return and explore more tomorrow when the rain has let up.

 

He spends the next hour riding the bus to its final destination. He passes plenty of stops, and really, the vampire could have gotten off anywhere. But as he approaches the end of the line, he becomes increasingly certain. The end of the line is Stanley Park.

 

By the time he gets there, the sky is pouring. He can’t tell anything in this weather, but his instincts tell him that there are no vampires afoot here tonight. There is no acrid smell, and the hairs on the back of his neck aren’t standing up, so he decides to head back to the motel. He will come back tomorrow when the weather improves.

 

He picks up dinner on his way back, determined not to starve himself for a second night in a row. He settles into his room to eat and call his father. Billy knows he can take care of himself, but his father is still his father, and still has every right to worry about his teenaged son alone in a distant city, quite literally off looking for trouble. And after he nearly died in the newborn fight, his dad’s sense of Jacob’s mortality must be at the forefront of his mind. He actually feels really guilty about not checking in sooner.

 

He dials collect, the first of his three half pound burgers already settled in his stomach, the next already halfway eaten. His mouth is stuffed, so when the operator asks him to identify himself so his father can agree to accept the charges of the phone call, all that comes out is, “Aakuh Aak”. Billy’s voice rises with concern, “Jacob? Is that you? What’s wrong?”

 

He tries to swallow, but his mouth is dry, and all he does is choke and cough. After a few seconds of sputtering, he answers clearly, “Sorry dad, I’m just eating. You know me, bottomless pit.”

 

Billy laughs, “Oh, thank god. I thought maybe you were choking on your own blood or something.”

 

“Nope, still alive and kicking. Sorry I didn’t call sooner.”

 

“It’s okay, son. I know you’re busy. I know it’s important. But next time you skip town, don’t wait so long to check in, okay? Be kind to your old man. Where are you, exactly? Sam filled me in on what he knew, but it was pretty incomplete.”

 

“I’m in Vancouver, staying in some ratty motel. I think he told you I caught the trail of the newborn that escaped, the one that’s still after Bella? It led me to Canada. Unfortunately it rains here all the time, just like home, so it’s really hard to track the scent. It keeps washing away. But I have a couple good leads on it.”

 

“That’s not what you were doing last night, though, is it? Sam said you killed a vampire, but that he didn’t think you were heading home just yet.”

 

“Uh huh,” Jacob pauses to chew and swallow. “I just happened to run across one. It was about to kill this girl, so I had to take it down. It was embarrassingly easy, actually. Not like the ones we fought. I don’t think it ever had to defend itself before.”

 

Billy’s voice turns serious. “Don’t get cocky, son. You’re by yourself, without backup.”

 

“I know. I wasn’t looking for a fight, honest. But I wasn’t gonna let the girl get killed, you know?”

 

“What happened? She didn’t see you, did she?”

 

“Not my wolf. She saw me as a human, when I yelled at it to get away from her, but then I led it away and took it down in the woods. It was in a big park. The biggest problem wasn’t killing the damn thing. It was figuring out how to burn it after. I’m in a city, right? In a public park? So I can’t exactly light a giant, stinking fire in the middle. What was I gonna do, pretend it was the worst barbecue ever? At midnight? So I had to find an incinerator in the city.”

 

“And the girl?”

 

“She’s fine. I saw her after, but she didn’t see me, when I went back to get my clothes. She had called the cops, actually tried to send them after me. She probably thought I was getting murdered in the woods by the guy who assaulted her. She didn’t know what he was. Just that he was a creep. I hid in the trees with the body parts until the cops passed through.”

 

“Wait, wait,” Billy stops him, “What’s that about your clothes? You didn’t rip them up when you phased? You didn’t have to walk through the city buck naked?”

 

Jacob laughs, “No, no, that’s the best part. I think I slowed down the leech by stripping in front of it. I was running off in human form, right? So it was clearly gonna catch up with me quick. And I didn’t want to end up naked after, like you said, stuck in the park in the city. So I took off my clothes before I phased, while I was running. Between the nudity and the phasing, the damn thing was so stunned that it didn’t move quickly enough. I got its hand off before it had a chance to make a move, and then it was only a few more seconds, and I got its head off.”

 

His dad is laughing hysterically. “That’ll be your new strategy, Jacob! I’ll tell Sam. The next time you guys get in a fight, he should alpha order everybody to strip down to their birthday suits to distract the enemy. Oh, that’s rich!”

 

They don’t want to run up their telephone charge too much, so the conversation ends quickly after that. Billy reassures him that Sue is taking care of him, and the wolves have been stopping by as well, and Jacob promises not to wait so long to check in next time, and to be careful.

 

Billy has the final word, “You do what you have to do, son, but do it carefully. Remember, you’re not Batman, and your job isn’t to protect Gotham City. You stay safe, and then you come home.”

 

Afterward, he feels a little better. He really doesn’t like being stuck up here all alone. But there’s a reason he’s up here, and he needs to accomplish it before he can leave.

 

And his subconscious is doing a damn good job of making him think he’s not alone, at least when he sleeps. He hasn’t had a dream about Bella every time he has fallen asleep, but when he does, they’re mind blowing. He’s torn. On one hand, the dreams are wonderful. They fulfill his deepest fantasies. They’re more explicit than anything he’s ever experienced. And they feel so very real, like she’s really there in the room with him. Like she’s really kissing him, and touching him, and sliding her hot little body against his own. But even better, not only does she love him physically, but she loves him with her whole heart. But each time, he has to wake up. Wake and be startled by the lack of her, by empty arms and a cold room, and his all-too-real memories of rejection. Of her denying him, denying her own feelings, denying what they both know to be true. Waking up breaks his heart all over again. Each and every time.

 

As he showers, he can’t decide if he wants another dream tonight or not, as if he has a choice in the matter. He climbs into bed thinking that if he has any chance of getting over her, of getting over the love of his life who’s about to leave him forever, he needs the dreams to stop. But the only way he knows to stop them is not to sleep, which isn’t an option.

 

_He sits on the bed to wait for her. He wants her. He needs her. He knows she feels the same. Here, in this place, she is open with him, and honest. She is clear about what she wants. He loves her, she loves him, and they are together. So he waits for her._

 

_He has no idea how much time passes before he senses her presence at the door. She’s hesitating for some reason, so he jumps up to let her in, and yanks the door open to her face startled expression._

 

_She looks up at him with her big brown eyes._

 

_He grins at her. It’s her favorite Jacob smile. “Where have you been?”_

 

_She grins back. “I’m right here.”_

 

_He steps back to let her in and opens his arms. “You’re here?”_

 

_“I’m here.” She jumps into his embrace, he squeezes her tightly to him, and he spins her around._

 


	12. Chapter 12

X-x-x-x-X

Monday night

X-x-x-x-X

_He sits on the bed to wait for her. He wants her. He needs her. He knows she feels the same. Here, in this place, she is open with him, and honest. She is clear about what she wants. He loves her, she loves him, and they are together. So he waits for her. He doesn’t know how, but he is pretty certain she will come. He looks forward to it. He’s ready to be happy for a while. He’s ready to put the frustrating events of the day behind him (what were they? he can’t actually recall)._

_He has no idea how much time passes before he senses her presence at the door. She’s hesitating for some reason, so he jumps up to let her in, and yanks the door open to her face startled expression._

_She looks up at him with her big brown eyes._

_He grins at her. It’s her favorite Jacob smile. The one that lets her know that everything is right in the world, now that she is here. “Where have you been?”_

_She grins back. “I’m right here.” Although she can’t quite remember where she came from, she is very glad she’s here now._

_He steps back to let her in and opens his arms. “You’re here?”_

_“I’m here.” She jumps into his embrace, he squeezes her tightly to him, and he spins her around._

_He spins her until she laughs and gets a little dizzy. Then he loosens his arms enough that she can breathe, but not enough to let her down._

_"Hey, put me down!" She wiggles her feet in the air, but release her hold on his neck._

_"Hmmmmm," he considers. "No. Don't wanna." He smiles into her hair. His favorite scent drifts into his nose, vanilla and strawberries, and Bella herself. "But I'm feeling generous. You can choose how I hold you. Like this, or you can wrap your legs around me like a baby monkey, or I can carry you piggyback, or bridal style, or you can sit on my shoulders." They both look up at the low ceiling. "Or maybe not."_

_"You know, if I wrap my legs around you, the first thing that springs to mind isn't a baby monkey," she teases, "unless that's what the kids are calling it these days." They both look at the wall beside the door and envision him taking her against it, her legs wrapped around his waist._

_He barks out a laugh as she illustrates her point by shifting her legs around his hips, lightly brushing her center against him. But he's not done playing. He grins at her again. "I dunno, Bells, you're just as cute as one." He sweetly kisses the tip of her nose._

_"Wow, Jake. A monkey, huh? You really know how to flatter a girl."_

_"Yeah, you know me, Bells. I'm beating the girls off with sticks. I'm irresistible."_

_She looks at him with a gleam in her eye. "Well, lucky for me, I know your weak spots."_

_"Is that so, Miss Swan?"_

_She bites her lip and nods. "It's a promise, Mr. Black."_

_He looks her straight in the eye. "Prove  it," he whispers._

_She runs the tip of her tongue along her lips, and he is mesmerized. She lowers her mouth to his throat, playfully nips at his neck with her teeth, and just as he starts to moan, she shifts her fingers to his ribs and starts tickling him mercilessly._

_He falls back on the bed, laughing, taking her down with him. She pins his arms at his sides with her knees and attacks his sensitive clavicles with her fingers. He whoops and shakes with giggles, squirming under her hands._

_Her control is an illusion, of course. He could flip them at any time and pin her down, stop her at any moment. But he won't. This is more fun than he's had in ages. And he loves having her hands on his body in just about any capacity._

_So he squirms up the bed in a somewhat fake attempt to get away from her, which puts his feet in range of her wandering hands. She twists around and grabs his left one in her little palm, and attacks the sole._

_Now this is a real, honest weakness, and she knows it. She discovered it on her thorough exploration of his body while seducing him in his garage. She takes full advantage, clinging to his writhing, bucking form with her legs, unrelenting on her happy torture of his feet._

_He hollers, yells, and sincerely begs for her to stop. He resists the urge to throw her off him, because even in his happy daze he doesn't want to accidentally hurt her. He laughs so hard that tears stream out of the corners of his eyes. He beats his fists against the mattress._

_"Aah! God! Bells, you win! Uncle! Uncle!"_

_She can't resist. "Who's your Alpha, Jake? Who's your Alpha?" she cries triumphantly. It's a terrible joke, and they both know it, which makes them both laugh even harder._

_"You, Bells. Oh my god! You're the boss of me! Stop it! You're my Alpha! You're my Alpha!"_

_She relaxes her grip on his feet and turns back to face him. "Damn skippy, I am," she declares smugly._

_“ ‘Damn skippy’? Is that a thing?” He’s still giggling beneath her. She’s so proud of herself. Not only did she win fair and square, but she got him to declare her Alpha, and she made him giggle. All six and a half feet of manly, cocky Jacob Black. Giggling. Begging for mercy._  

_“Sure it is. Just like ‘holy crow’, or ‘raging peanuts’, or ‘flying donkey doo.’ “_

_“Oh my God, now you’re totally just making things up!” He’s snorting now. He hugs her close to him and says, “You’re so goddamn fucking cute!”_

_She insincerely protests against his neck, “Hey, watch the language, mister!”_

_“Oh man, Bells. At least it’s a real phrase!”_

_And then he rolls her over and pins her beneath him, and they're making out like the teenagers that they are. She finally realizes he has only been wearing a towel entire time she's been here. How did she not notice that the second he opened the door? She must have been blinded by his dazzling smile. That thought triggers a faint memory of someone else telling her she's blind, but she can't really remember, and frankly she doesn't care._

_As he playfully bites at her full bottom lip, and nuzzles her with sweet eskimo kisses, she reaches down to pinch his butt through the towel, and he chuckles into her mouth. “Feeling frisky, huh?” he murmurs against her._

_She doesn’t want to stop kissing him, so she only replies, “MmmmHmmm.” She would tell him that only he can make her so frisky, only he can bring out this playful, sexy side she didn’t know she had. But saying that many words would pull her lips from his, and she can’t have that._

_He considers whether turnabout is fair play, and is tempted to tickle her right back, but can't stand to pull his lips away from her, either, for long enough to do it._

_So he kisses her. Soft pecks with his full lips against her eyelids, her cheeks, her chin, her nose. Gentle, open mouthed kisses against her lips, the angle of her jaw. Lingering sweeps of his tongue along her soft mouth, the column of her neck, the sensitive spot behind her ear. He buries his hands in her hair and gets lost in her taste. She kisses him back, pressed into the mattress by the weight of his body. Her fingers trace abstract patterns over his bare back, and hold him tightly to her. They kiss for endless seconds, minutes, hours. Time has no meaning here._

_The kisses gradually change from playful and sweet to hot and seductive. He's been hard since she stopped tickling him, ages ago, and she's as aroused as he is. And as much as they can't tell the passage of time, as much as they both want to stay here, together, forever, they know that the night will eventually end and their time will draw to a close. They need to be closer to each other before that happens. They need each other's comfort. They need each other's warmth. They need to be as close as they can possibly be._

_So when Bella starts to moan into Jacob's mouth and tugs at the towel wrapped around his hips, he complies immediately, and slips it out from between them. He refuses to break their kiss. He slides his arm under her waist, pulls her into a sitting position, and slides his hands beneath her shirt. They separate for as little time as possible, just long enough to pull her shirt over her head. Then his lips capture hers again, and they fall backward into the mattress. She lifts her hips just enough to work her pants down, and he kicks them away with his feet._

_Finally. All she feels is his skin on hers. She's ready. She wants him. All of him. She opens her legs and whispers against him, "Don't make me wait any longer, Jake. I need you."_

_He pulls back enough to look her in the eyes. He licks his lips._

_"I won't tease you tonight, honey."_

_He bends down to kiss her lips again._

_"I want you to feel good."_

_He moves down to her throat and kisses her there._

_"But I have to get you ready."_

_He crawls down to capture a nipple in his mouth and works it until she squirms._

_"We're still new at this."_

_He switches to the other breast, and licks circles around it with his hot tongue._

_"And I'm still kind of big."_

_He shifts down to swirl his tongue along the edge of her navel, and then dips it in._

_"And if I don't do this first,"_

_He kisses her mound._

_"it'll hurt again, at least in the beginning."_

_He slides a long, thick finger into her body._

_"And I won't ever, ever hurt you, baby."_

_He begins to pump._

_"But I won't leave you hanging, honey."_

_He adds a second finger and pumps deeper._

_"We're both gonna come tonight."_

_He adds a third._

_"You more than me, I think."_

_He curls his fingers as he strokes inside her._

_"Starting right now."_

_He licks his tongue in tight circles on her clit._

_He's right. She does._

_She has no idea how long she comes on his hand and against his mouth, but he doesn't let up for a long, long time. It has the timeless quality of their kisses tonight, like the two of them are outside time, outside space. Wherever this is, she wants to stay._

_When he finally crawls back up her body, he traces his path backward, his lips on her mound, her navel, her breasts, her throat. He leaves his fingers inside her, still pumping gently, so she stays right on the edge. As he presses his lips against hers once more, he removes his hand for only a second, and then he slides home, all the way, in one smooth thrust of his hips._

_He was right, again. After what he has done to her body, the stretch of him, the burn of him, is pleasure in its purest form._

_He holds still, waiting until he’s sure she’s comfortable. He continues pressing kisses on her lips. She’s exhaling a long, satisfied breath against his mouth. As much as he aches to pin her into the bed and fuck her sweet little pussy into complete submission, tonight is only about love. He is fairly certain that some other night he will dominate her, wring orgasm after orgasm from her body with a firm hand and his stiff cock. But she’s not ready for that yet. He can wait. And buried still inside her, well, it’s the perfect place to wait._

_Tonight is all about laughter. About happiness. About warmth. About bliss. He wants to know what it feels like on his cock when she laughs. So he lightly tickles her sides, just enough to make her giggle and sigh against him. Mmmmmm. He was right. It’s a really, really nice feeling, the vibrations of her body surrounding him._

_He can feel her smile against his cheek. He still hasn’t moved his hips, but he’s still stroking her sides with the tips of his fingers, and tickling the side of her neck with his nose. “What are you doing, silly boy?”_

_“I’m doing you. Can’t you tell?” He laughs and kisses her again. She likes the feeling of him laughing while he’s inside her just as much as he does._

_She laughs. “Yeah, okay Jake. That part’s hard to miss. It’s pretty big, just like you said. You know what I mean,” she replies._

_He tips his head back and looks at her. He smiles. “I wanted to know what it would feel like. What it would feel like to be inside you while you were laughing. Besides, it’s payback time.”_

_She loves this smile. It’s the same one she saw for the first time a couple nights ago. It’s not quite the huge, sunny Jacob smile he flashes at her in greeting, the one he gives her as he’s sweeping her up in his arms, the one that told her during her darkest days that there was still light in the world. No, this one is their private smile. The one that drips sex and happiness all at once, and is only ever aimed at her._

_She grins back at him. He, in turn, loves this particular smile on her. It’s pure. Untainted by any negative emotion whatsoever. She just radiates joy. He has never seen her give that smile to anyone else; not to her friends, not to her parents, certainly not to Edward Cullen. It’s one of the many ways that he knows she is meant for him, and him alone. “Payback time, huh? You promise? You’ll pay me back right now?” She can’t be embarrassed around him. She is just having too much fun._

_“Yeah...” He slowly starts to slide out. “Right about **now**.” He thrusts back deeply. Her hands are wrapped loosely around his shoulders._

_“Unh,” she replies as he hits her cervix. She teases him, “You can do better than that, Black.”_

_“Oh, really?” He slides back out again. “You mean, like **this**?” He buries himself in her again more firmly. She grips his upper arms._

_“Aah!” She grins again. “Better, better, but I know that’s not all you have to give me.” Her nails dig into his back._

_“Oh, I get it.” He slips back, almost out of her body entirely. “You want one of **these**.” This time, hard._

_A whimper escapes her. He doesn’t pause anymore to talk. He resumes kissing her. He keeps thrusting, a slow, deep, hard fuck. “Yes... unh... that’s... unh... it... unh... Jake!”_

_God, he’s so happy. She’s so happy. It’s bliss, burying himself in her, her being filled by him. She just has one more thing she has to tell him, while she is still coherent enough to form words. “OH!... unh... Jake!... unh... Raging... Peanuts!”_

_They both dissolve into helpless laughter, but he doesn’t stop thrusting, so their laughing is mixed with gasping moans. His rhythm is broken and sloppy for a few minutes, since it is genuinely difficult to laugh this hard and have sex at the same time. And the more they laugh, the funnier it becomes. Which is somehow more arousing. She doesn’t mind at all. It still feels wonderful. Jacob Black can pat his head and rub his stomach at the same time, can walk and chew gum at the same time, and can apparently laugh and have sex at the same time. The whole thing just feels so. damn. good._

_Eventually their gales of laughter fade, and just the moaning is left behind. He kisses her. He moves in her. It feels endless, like the rest of their night, and they’re caught in a timeless bubble containing only each other. And as he feels her start to clench and tighten around him, another long, hard orgasm taking over her body, he comes in her._

_It is the happiest either of them has ever been._

_Long moments later, he’s still seated in her, and she’s surprised to find that he’s still hard. It’s causing lovely little aftershocks of pleasure in her core. He is sprawled on top of her._

_“Hey,” she teases, running her fingers up and down on either side of his spine, where he is most sensitive, “what’s wrong with you, anyway?”_

_He feels boneless. The only hard thing about him is his still-hard cock. “Wait, what? I thought that went well.” His voice is muffled, since his mouth is buried in the pillow that is under her head._

_He can hear the smile in her voice, so his ego isn’t bruised. “It did go well. It was fun. I didn’t think sex could be so much fun.”_

_“I did. I knew. But what was that about something being wrong?” he mumbles._

_“So, you’ve apparently relinquished all muscle control, since you’re totally squishing me into this mattress.”_

_“Mmph. Don’t wanna move,” he mutters._

_“Right, so that’s fine. I like it. Being crushed is fine, long as it’s by you.” She’s starting to laugh again, and he really likes the sensation under him and around him._

_“So Mike Newton can’t crush you? Or Quil?” His face is still planted firmly in the pillow, so she’s not entirely sure of the names he’s spoken. No matter. Whomever he said, they aren’t allowed to squish her._

_“Nope. Just you.”_

_“How ‘bout a girl? Like that skanky girl from your school, the bitchy blonde one.”_

_She shakes and laughs, “Who, Lauren?”_

_“Yeah, her. She’d probably do you.”_

_“God, no. She’s probably not heavy enough to crush me. Definitely not Lauren. Just you!”_

_“You like it when I crush you? I can do it more often.”_

_“Yeah, well, I like everything except lying in the wet spot. I never really knew what the wet spot was, before.”_

  _She thinks he says, “What else could it have possibly been?”_

_“Okay, so I’m dumb. I never thought about it before!”_

_“I don’t believe you.”_

_“S’true, either way. Hey, can you breathe?"_

_“Not really. Doesn’t matter. I’m dead right now. Don’t need to breathe.” She can barely make out what he’s saying._

_“So, you’re so dead you can’t move, can’t lift up your head for air, but you’re still totally rock hard, down here? That’s weird.” She can’t reach between them to gesture, so she pokes him in his left buttock with her finger. It causes him to jolt a little bit inside her. They both groan._

_“Well, that’s important,” she thinks he says._

_“More important than breathing?”_

_“Yeah. I think it’s the most important thing. Like, ever. I need that.”_

_She snorts. “What for? We used it already, so doesn’t it get to take a rest now?” She’s going to have to get used to his stamina._

_He finally raises his head and looks down at her. He gives her a fake frown. “ ‘What for?’ I think I’m being insulted. Do I have to remind you?”_

_“Yeah,” she giggles. “Remind me.”_

_His whole face lights up. “Okay, sure!”_

_He reminds her two more times._


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stefenie Meyer. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

X-x-x-x-X  
Tuesday  
X-x-x-x-X

The first thing Bella notices when she wakes up is that she is in the wrong bed. Again. She has never been a morning person, but this new manner of waking up, being pulled from Jacob's arms, is just miserable. On the other hand, although her mind recalls hours of (pleasurable) nocturnal aerobic activity, her body feels wonderful. She feels fully rested. And she doesn’t feel the tear of the gaping hole in her chest.

She has a strong urge to talk to Jacob. She thinks of his teasing the night before. Under any other circumstances, the sorts of conversations they had last night would be entirely embarrassing for her. But with Jacob, they were just fun. Sex felt fun. Who would have guessed? She never would have expected such an experience from Edward.

She has always wondered what sex would be like with Edward. She can tell that there is wild passion behind his tightly held control. If she could ever get him to lose that control, she has no doubt that he would ravage her. She has been longing for it the entire time she has known him. But after their experience earlier in the week, when she woke with him pinning her down bodily, his hard, freezing hand clamped down on her mouth, she wonders if she would actually enjoy it. Especially since her body now knows something better.

In life, Jacob makes no attempt to restrain his passion for her. It’s in his eyes every time he looks at her, in his words, in his deeds. She doesn’t doubt that making love with Jacob would be the perfect blend of passion and pleasure, just like it is in her dream. They could probably use some practice to get there, but it would be so much fun learning how. And even though it didn’t happen, couldn’t have happened, will probably never happen, she has no doubt that being with Jacob would be just that. Fun, laughter, lust, and love all wrapped up into one. Why exactly did she send him away?

As much as she longs for his body, she longs more for his smile. She wants to laugh like she did last night, but there is no one here to laugh with. If she is turned, she won’t have to worry about being afraid anymore, but she’s not sure she’ll ever laugh like that again. Alice and Emmett make her laugh, but not the way Jake does. And as much as she loves Edward, the best he can draw out of her is a bit of a chuckle.

She sighs and rolls out of bed, noting that her window is slightly ajar. She closes it with a heavy sigh. Edward must have stopped by the night before. She wonders how long he was in her room, and what he heard while he was here.

She pads off to the bathroom. She has her toothbrush in her mouth when she hears frantic pounding on the front door. She hears Charlie open the door with an enthusiastic but confused greeting, “Morning, Alice! Didn’t expect to see you here at this hour.”

She can hear genuine anxiety in Alice’s voice, underneath a falsely chipper greeting. “Hi Charlie, I’m having a wedding planning emergency. Is Bella still here?”

“Sure, I heard her get up a few minutes ago. She has a little bit of time before she heads into work. You want to go say hello before she has to leave?”

“Oh good, I was afraid I’d miss her. I just need her to help me clarify some plans.” She hears Alice’s footsteps coming up the stairs. “If I don’t see you before you go, have a good day at work, Charlie!”

The door to the bathroom bursts open. "Oh my God, Bella, you're okay!"

Bella stares at Alice with wide eyes, her toothbrush hanging out of her mouth. She spits out her toothpaste. "I'm fine. What's going on?" 

Alice is even more manic than usual. "I was so worried! Your future just disappeared! At first I thought it was because of the mutt that's patrolling outside, but even when they're here I can usually see something. I thought something awful had happened to you!"

Bella doesn't know what to say. "I'm fine, Alice. Safe and sound. I'm planning on spending a boring day at work, nothing more, nothing less."

Alice is bubbly and hyper again, and bouncing on the heels of her feet. "Well good, then. I won't panic, I promise. It probably is the fault of that stupid dog outside. I'm glad I convinced Edward to stay home. He was about to rush over here and rescue you, but there's clearly nothing to rescue you from! I mean, he was here just a couple hours ago. What could possibly have gone wrong since then?"

Bella isn't really surprised by this news. He is getting careless sneaking in and out of her room. It isn't like him to leave the window ajar. She's worried about him. She wants to ask Alice how Edward is doing, but has no idea how. She doesn't want to raise any suspicion, so she makes an attempt at a joke. "You know me, Alice, I could easily have fallen down the stairs just going to get breakfast, and rendered myself unconscious."

Alice lets out a tinkling laugh. "Whatever are we going to do with you, Bella?"

She displays false conviction. "You're going to turn me so that the next time I fall down the stairs, I'll break the stairs instead of the stairs breaking me."

"I sure hope you're more graceful when you're a vampire, Bella." Alice smiles at her. "But with your luck, poor coordination will be your special power."

"It'll be extra enhanced, right? So I'll be even clumsier than I am now."

They grin at each other until Bella remembers, "Um, I have to go to work soon, Alice."

"Oh! Of course, I should let you go. But first," she runs to Bella's room and returns a minute later with an outfit in her hands. "This is what you're supposed to wear today." She hands her a pretty purple blouse Bella has never seen before and a pair of skinny jeans.

"I thought my future disappeared, Alice? How do you know what I'm supposed to wear?"

Alice smiles. "It just came back, after I came in. I don't know what happened just now, but your future just went back to normal." She turns to leave. "You know," she says gently, "you and I haven't had much of a chance to talk lately, other than wedding planning. Can I take you to lunch today?"

Bella asks, "Am I going to say yes?"

"Of course you are, silly. Asking you is just a formality!"

Bella can't help but smile back. "In that case, then my answer is yes."

"Wonderful! I'll pick you up."

Mrs. Newton is thankfully more circumspect than her son, so Bella's morning passes in peace. Bella misses Jacob acutely, but thinking about missing Jacob makes her wonder if it would be any better to miss all the Cullens. When Edward left and took them all with him, she didn't lose just him, but her surrogate parents and siblings as well. Who can she live without? Those thoughts, and work, are actually busy enough to keep her occupied until Alice walks in the door with a little wave of her hand. Bella clocks out.

Alice stops at her flashy yellow Porsche and pulls out a basket. "Courtesy of Esme. She wanted to make something for you." Alice unknowingly leads Bella to the park where she ate lunch with Edward the day before. They even sit on the same bench.

Alice opens the basket and hands Bella a turkey panini and a bottle of water. Bella doesn't even ask what it is. Esme made it, so whatever it is, it will be good.

"Tell Esme thanks for me, will you Alice? This really good."

Alice says softly, "Why don't you tell her yourself?"

Bella feels her mouth opening and closing like a fish. She hasn't visited the Cullen house in days, and now feels terribly guilty. She adds to her list of things to feel guilty about. She is saved from the awkwardness of this question for a few moments when Alice goes into a trance. 

A minute later, Alice turns to look at her. "That has been happening all day. It has been happening all week, actually, but this morning was ridiculous. I almost didn't drive here- I was worried that I'd end up having a vision and steering my car into some poor person."

Bella is afraid to ask, but does so anyway. "What are the visions, Alice?"

"They change. They're all different. They are all of you. Sometimes you're a vampire, sometimes you're gone altogether and I can't find you. Some are you, but hazy and barely visible and I can't tell what's going on. And in one, you're as clear as day, getting off a plane and handing a beautiful baby to your mom. You look really happy in that one."

Her heart aches. It has to be Jake's baby. Their child. The future she turned down.

"Has Edward seen those visions?"

Alice nods. "Both the vampire ones and the blank ones. I was able to get out of the house for the one with the baby."

Thank god he didn't see that one. He has always told her he wants a normal, human life for her, but saying it and seeing it are two different things. "He must be so upset." No matter what else is going on, no matter how her self awareness is evolving, she hates hurting Edward. It makes her want to jump in Alice's Porsche and dive into Edward's arms and tell him she'll never leave him. But she doesn't know if that would be the truth.

"He thinks the blank spots mean there is a strong possibility if that rogue newborn will kill you. I can't see the newborn since I don't know who I'm looking for, which makes it even worse."

Bella's first thought isn't for herself this time. If she gets killed by the newborn, there's a good chance that Jacob will have already gotten killed by it as well. Because he will surely die before letting it get to her. And Edward would do the same, and if he survived her, would take his own life.

"He's terrified, Bella. He wants to turn you now, before it gets the chance to hurt you."

Her head snaps up. Not long ago, she would have jumped at the offer. Not today. "I need to talk to him, don't I?"

Alice nods sadly. "What are you going to tell him?"

"I don't know."

Alice puts her cold hand on Bella's. "Whatever you decide, Bella, you'll always be my best friend."

Bella spends the rest of the afternoon in a daze. Alice's words stick with her. She doesn't know how to let go of the rest of the Cullens, let alone let go of Edward. She doesn't want Alice just as a friend. She wants Alice as a sister. No matter what their intentions, giving up Edward will put a rift between Bella and the rest of the family, even if none of them blame her for it.

And the news of her flickering future brings her fear back to the forefront. The universe is clearly conspiring against her. Her life is in danger again, and she still hates putting everyone else on the line to protect herself. 

Then there is the baby. She wishes she could see Alice's vision for herself. She can admit it now, can admit to herself that she does long for that version of the future. Maybe even wants it as much as the future with Edward she was once so committed to. 

Her mind drifts back to the previous night. Never in her life had she experienced such pure happiness. Can she go her entire existence knowing such bliss was possible, but that she turned her back on it? Not only that, but that she would not only deprive herself of that love, but deprive Jacob of their joy as well?

She wants to make him happy. She wants to make Edward happy too. But Jacob probably has an imprint out there waiting to meet him. Edward has only Bella. She ignores the Jacob voice in her mind swearing that there is only her. 

No wonder Alice's visions keep changing.

After work, Bella heads home. Three blocks away from her house, she passes a UPS truck headed in the other direction, and suddenly remembers Charlie’s package from the week before. She realizes she never actually told him about the package, but she didn’t see it again after it was dropped off. He must have found it on his own.

Just as she’s pulling into her driveway, Charlie comes out the front door, keys in hand. “Hey Bells, I’ve got to go in to the station. Mark called in sick, and there’s no one to cover the evening shift. I’ll be home pretty late, so don’t wait up.”

She nods back at him. “Okay, dad, I’ll probably head over to the Cullens tonight anyway.” As much as she wants to avoid any kind of a confrontation, she owes it to Edward to talk to him. Just as Charlie is getting into the cruiser, she stops at his window. “Hey, did you get the package that was dropped off last week? I left it on the table for you.”

“What package?”

“You know, medium sized standard issue brown box with packing tape.” She illustrates the size with her hands. 

“No, didn’t see it. Where’d you put it?”

“Um, kitchen table, I think. You didn’t take it?”

He shakes his head no.

“Okay, I’ll look around. Maybe it fell on the floor, got kicked under something.”

Charlie pulls out of the driveway, and Bella enters the house. She spends the next hour combing the first floor and coming up empty. She is about to start on the second floor when a knock sounds at the front door. She opens it to find Alice there for the second time that day. Alice gives Bella a small smile. “I don’t know what you’re looking for, but you don’t find it.”

“You had a vision of me not finding something? How does that work?”

Alice shrugs noncommittally. “I had a bunch of visions of you being frustrated looking for something, and none of you actually finding it. So I figured I would come over here and save you the time. Since I decided that the vision changed to you coming over to our house.”

Bella runs a hand through her hair. “Well, I did tell Charlie I was going to come over. Can I get my stuff?”

Bella is nervous for the entire car ride. “Did you see anything else interesting today?”

Alice shakes her head. “Just more of the same.”

“And Edward?”

She looks at Bella sadly. “Still worried out of his mind. You can make him feel better, though.” Alice pats her hand.

All too soon, they’re in front of the house. Bella feels her heart pounding in her chest. Alice can hear it easily. “It’s okay, Bella. We love you, remember?”

Bella tries to smile at Alice, but fails.

Esme greets her at the door with a hug. “Did you like your lunch, dear?”

Bella nods. It really was quite good. 

“Wonderful. Would you like some dinner tonight too? I have a lovely pasta recipe that I’d love to try out.”

“Thanks, Esme, but no. The sandwich really was wonderful, though.”

Esme gives her a small smile. “Then go on up, dear. He’s in his room.”

The walk up the stairs feels endless. Her heart is back to pounding in her chest again. As she reaches for the doorknob, she gets a flash of a brown, rusted door, in a different place, with a different man behind it. She closes her eyes and turns the knob. When she opens them, the wrong eyes are looking into her own. They look sad. 

“I’m glad you came, my love. I wasn’t sure you wanted to see me.”

She decides to be honest. “I wasn’t sure, either.”

“I’m so sorry, Bella. I never mean to hurt you, but I keep doing it anyway.”

“I know, Edward. I know you mean well. But you can’t keep hiding things from me. It only makes things worse. It’s my life, Edward, and I need to know.”

He looks at the floor, his hands shoved deep in his pockets. “I’ve learned my lesson, I think. I’ll do better.” He looks her directly in the eye, and she can see conviction there. “I’ll be better, Bella. I can be good for you. I can be good to you.”

His singular focus on her is hypnotizing, and she can’t break his gaze. She has no doubt that he means every word he says. He continues when he realizes she isn’t going to say anything back to him. “I have no further news, Bella. I haven’t seen any of the wolves. But Carlisle hears from Sam whenever there’s anything that they think we need to know, and there has been no news.”

She nods at him, but still can’t think of what to say.

“I’m sure he’s fine, Bella. I know it came out badly yesterday, but I meant it when I told you that Jacob can take care of himself. We would know it if he wasn’t fine.”

Bella exhales a long breath she didn’t know she had been holding, and slumps a little. “I am worried about him, Edward. He’s my best friend.”

Edward looks pained again. “He is good to you, I know it. I can’t entirely hate him, much as I want to, knowing that.” Edward pauses, and takes an unnecessary deep breath. “What will you do when he comes back?”

Bella still doesn’t know the answer to this question. Only a few days ago she would have blurted out that she would never see him again, but she no longer knows. “I can’t leave things with him the way they are, Edward.”

Edward frowns. “I understand that, love. But you do understand, don’t you, that he’s not meant for you?”

Her breath catches in her throat. Her dreams over the past few nights have nearly convinced her that Jacob is meant for her. And that she is meant for him. She can’t meet Edward’s eyes, which is answer enough.

Suddenly he’s standing right up against her, holding her arms tightly, looking down at her. He whispers fiercely, “You’re not his imprint, Bella. But you are my singer. You are the only one I will ever love.” He presses his lips hard against hers and tangles his hands in her hair. She is stunned with the force of it. Edward is usually much more careful than this. But he still doesn’t open his lips, for fear of his venom touching her, and suddenly the kiss is over as quickly as it began.

The kiss had two effects. First, Bella’s lips are tingling, like they always do, when Edward kisses her. Second, the hole in her chest has opened again. It’s the most bizarre juxtaposition.

Edward gently tugs on her hand to seat her beside him on the seat beside him. He tucks loose hair behind her ear, and the skin where he touches her tingles as well. She inhales his heavenly scent and almost feels dizzy with it. He lifts the hand he is holding to his lips, and kisses her knuckles as well. It’s barely a brush against her skin. She shivers.

“I cannot object if you want to remain his friend, Bella. But I beg that you do not begin a life with him, only to have it ripped away when he looks into the eyes of his intended.”

Bella nods and stands. She realizes that she’s crying. “I need some time alone, Edward.”

He nods sadly, and she steps out of his room and closes his door. She’s shocked to find Rosalie waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs holding her car keys in her hand. She leads Bella out to the garage, where Alice is waiting in the back seat of Rosalie’s convertible. Alice chimes out, “We’ll take you home now, Bella. And we’ll make sure he gives you some time tonight. Alone.”

Rosalie waits until they’re far from the house until she says, “He loves you, Bella. He truly does. He believes it completely when he says that he will never love another. And he is right that we, as vampires, have static and unchanging feelings. There is a chance that he will never love another woman the way he loves you. But he has forgotten that the fact that you are his singer does not make you his intended. It makes you the best meal he could ever have.”

They are quiet for the rest of the drive. As Rosalie puts the car in park, she says, "You have everything that matters right at your fingertips, Bella. Don't throw it all away."

"I'm afraid, Rose," Bella whispers.

Rosalie replies quietly, "Would you believe that I even miss being afraid?"

X-x-x-x-X

Jacob wakes up sprawled sideways across the bed, legs dangling mostly over the edge. Last night was amazing. Too bad it didn't happen. He is perversely pleased that his towel stayed wrapped around his waist. It's much easier to wash than the set of sheets. 

After showering and eating a quick breakfast, he stops at the desk to see if they have any transit maps. The desk clerk looks a lot like the prostitute he saw hanging around the first night he arrived. She is even more unfortunate-looking. He wonders if they're related, and his suspicion is confirmed when she switches from shameless flirting to an outright proposition. It's the most horrifying offer he's ever gotten: that she and her sister can show him a good time, and that they'll do whatever he likes, together. She waffles her brow suggestively at him as she rearranges her tube top, and he flees out the front door.

It doesn’t take long for him to get back to the bus stop where he discovered the vampire’s scent. He starts to run along the route of the bus, looking for all the world like a jogger. Who jogs really, really fast. He explores each stop, but unfortunately finds no trace of the vampire. Either it didn’t get off until the end of the line, or the rain washed the scent away.

By mid afternoon he arrives back in Stanley Park. There are so many vampire trails at the entrance of the park that it is very difficult to distinguish any one in particular, but it’s still his best lead. He slows his jog so as to be able to explore the area more thoroughly. When he comes across the rogue vampire’s scent near a playground full of little children, he gets more concerned. What is it with this vampire and kids? First a school, and now a playground? His fear only grows when he also finds traces of the vampire near the miniature train station and the water park. Is this thing targeting children? It would be an awfully conspicuous thing for a vampire to do. Does it drag off entire families to drain? He’s not sure if he should be pleased or upset that none of the trails he finds are fresh.

He’s rounding a bend in the path when he spots the sno-cone girl handing a red cone to a little girl. She looks up and catches his eye. He gives her a polite nod and tries to walk past, but she stops him. She’s clearly flustered, but sticks her hand out to shake his. 

“I think I owe you a thank you,” she says quietly, blushing.

“It was really nothing. Anybody would have done the same.” He removes his hand from hers. 

“Um, no, not everybody would have done the same.” She shakes her head. “I don’t know exactly what that guy wanted from me, but it wasn’t to steal my sno-cones.”

“Yeah. Unfortunately I think you’re right about that. I’ll bet your cones are really good, though. Probably worth stealing.”

A lovely smile breaks out over her face. “Well, in that case, as a reward for saving me, I think I owe you free sno-cones for life.”

They both laugh, and when Jacob’s empty stomach makes a loud rumble, she turns back to her cart and makes a cone for him. “Pick your poison. I’ve got cherry, blue raspberry, lemon, watermelon,, and green apple.”

“Oh, I can’t turn down food. I’m a growing boy. I’ll take the lemon.”

As she scoops out his cone, she tilts her head back to look at him. She’s tall for an Asian girl, probably 5’8”, but she still has to tip back to see him properly. “God, I hope you’re not still growing!” As she hands him the cone, she says, “Oh, and I’m Mina, by the way.”

He tries to pull out his wallet to pay her and replies, “Jacob.”

She looks genuinely appalled at his attempt to pay her. “Are you kidding me? Put your money away! Free sno-cones for life, remember? Or at least while I still have this crappy job.”

He chuckles and licks his cone. “You mean this isn’t your ultimate goal in life? Pushing this cart around this park forever?”

“Nah. I’m going to med school in the fall. Since I have a future again, thanks to you.” She turns serious again. “Hey, what happened with that guy, anyway? I was worried something bad happened to you when you didn’t come back.”

“I just ran him off. Not a scratch on me.” He holds his arms out to illustrate.

“And not a scratch on me either, thanks to you.” She’s smiling at him. He can tell she’s waiting for him to ask her out. She’s easy to talk to, she’s probably smart since she got into medical school, she’s very pretty, and when he saves her from a vampire she thanks him instead of running off to save the vampire. She’s giving him a look he’s seen more and more on womens’ faces since he got taller, broader, and more muscled. That, in addition to the fact that she believes he saved her from some awful fate, which he did, means he has a date tonight if he wants one. If only he wanted one. As far as he can tell, she has only one flaw. That she is not, in fact, Bella Swan. 

“Well, it was nice to meet you, Mina. Stay away from the creeps from now on, okay? I’ve got to go, but thanks for the cone.”

She looks disappointed. Jacob can feel his Y chromosome being revoked. “Maybe I’ll see you around, Jacob. Come get another cone the next time you’re in the park, okay?”

As he smiles and walks away, he hears Quil’s voice screaming at him in his head to turn around and go back, and wonders if he will ever get over Bella Swan. 

He manages to avoid Mina for the rest of the evening, and settles in to wait for vampires. He has no way of knowing if his vampire will show up anytime soon, but he has no other leads. There is a reasonable chance that he will run into other vampires, though, and he isn’t sure how he feels about that. If he sees one threatening someone again, he’ll obviously go after it. But he’s not here to rid Vancouver of its leech problem. Is he? He’s not supposed to be Batman in this Canadian Gotham, is he? His father certainly didn’t seem to think so. 

He tries to envision another life. He almost feels like he should try to find one. Bella has been completely clear with him. She loves him, but not enough. She wants him as a friend, and a friend alone, and he can take it or leave it. She’s engaged to another man, and she has every intention of turning into his mortal enemy in a few short weeks. So why does he feel like going out with another girl would be cheating on Bella?

Maybe, when there’s really no hope left, none at all, he’ll try to move on. He supposes he’ll have to. He won’t have much a choice. But Bella is still alive, and he fully intends to keep it that way, even if she does not.

Furthermore, now that he’s starting having intense dreams about her, he feels like has confirmation of what’s he’s believed all along. That he and Bella would be just perfect together. If only Bella would figure that out.

He stays in the park long enough to come up with a theory. During the day, there is too much light and there are too many people around for a vampire to do any hunting. By true nighttime, the place is deserted. And if there are no humans to prey on, there is no point in the vampires hanging about. Dusk, therefore, must be the most dangerous part of the day.

Tonight, though, there aren’t any vampires about. He has no idea why, but he can sense that there is nothing threatening around him. Once nightfall is complete, and he has waited around long enough to be confident that nothing will happen tonight, he heads back to his motel, picking up dinner along the way. 

He feels ridiculous, but he really wants to go to sleep and see if Bella is waiting for him in his dream.

She is.


	14. Chapter 14

X-x-x-x-X

Tuesday night

X-x-x-x-X

_When Bella opens the door to room 128, she's disappointed to find it empty. She was really hoping to find him tonight. Last night she had experienced a new sort of happiness. A Jacob sort of happiness. She wants to feel him laughing against her lips again._

_She's not a bold person, not at all, but she has the sudden urge to lie down naked in the bed. She wants to see the look on his face when he realizes she has nothing on under the covers._

_What actually happens is that she falls asleep within moments of lying down._

_Jacob smiles when he arrives. She's in there. He can feel her._

_When he opens the door, the first thing he notices is the little puddle of pajamas on the floor. He smiles. The second thing he notices is her slow, even breathing. He chuckles to himself. She must have meant to seduce him, but fell asleep instead._

_It's still working. She is seducing him, even if she doesn't know it. Bella, naked, in his bed, waiting for him and him alone? Yeah. It's working._

_He silently approaches her. She's curled on her side away from him, sheet pulled all the way up to her chin. He can't quite decide how to start. Should he wake her up first? Kiss her on the cheek and say, "Honey, I'm home!" Or just turn her onto her back and just start ravaging her? Tickle her in the ribs like she did to him the previous night? He is getting hard thinking about his options._

_He starts by pulling the sheet down and brushing her long hair back, exposing her neck and pale shoulder. He loves the way her skin looks right now. Luminous. Smooth. Soft. Not freezing cold and hard as marble. She's going to stay this way. He'll make sure of it. He presses his lips to the spot where her neck meets her shoulder, lightly, so she doesn't wake up. He wants to look at her for a while longer._

_He pulls the sheet down a little farther revealing her long, slender arm. He loves the feeling of those arms wrapped around his neck when he goes in for a crushing hug. The sheet falls a little of its accord, so he can see her shoulderblade and the top of her spine. He wants to run his tongue down the dip of her back, tracing the outline of each vertebra with his tongue, but he's not ready to wake her. Not yet._

_Instead, he pulls the sheet down further, revealing her hand resting on her hip. He loves those slender fingers running along his scalp. It's a habit she developed before she knew she loved him. When they were just Jake 'n Bells. He would sit on the floor in front of her, casually watching television or just talking. He's not sure she even knew she did it, but she'd always eventually start playing with his hair. The sensation of her fingers lightly massaging his scalp, or her nails gently scratching, was heaven. He'd have to stop himself from humming in pleasure. Now he can add a different sensation to their repertoire. He wants her to tug hard on his hair while he goes down on her, or better yet when he's moving deep inside her. He wants her to yank on his hair while she screams out his name._

_He has outgrown his denim shorts, the head of his cock sticking painfully out of the inflexible waistband. He pauses to remove his clothes, and then crawls back onto the bed. The movement causes the sheet to slip down more, showing off the lovely curve of her backside. Jacob's mouth begins to water. If he had to pick a favorite body part on Bella... Okay, he could never pick just one. But he truly loves her ass. And now that he's held it in his palms to keep her writhing on his mouth, he can never look at it the same way again. And he had looked at it inappropriately enough to begin with._

_He wants to sink his teeth into it. Wants to leave a mark. Wants to spank her, lightly, enough to arouse and entice but not enough to hurt. Or maybe to hurt just a little, if she wants him to. He wants to see what it looks like when he pumps into her sweet pussy from behind._

_He tugs the sheet off all the way. He's surprised when she doesn't wake up. Maybe the warmth of his body, despite not being pressed against her, is enough to keep her warm._

_Bella has amazing legs. She doesn't seem to know it, but they're long, slender, and perfectly shaped. She doesn't need to wear high heels to make them look good. He actually prefers her barefoot rather than in shoes, walking with him along the beach, little toes wiggling in the sand. Right now her legs are curled up a little against her. He wants them wrapped around his waist. Or kneeling in front of him. Or thrown over his shoulders. Or kneeling on either side of his head. Okay, it’s time to wake her up. Now he just has to figure out how. Oh, the possibilities._

_He starts by nuzzling his nose along the small of her back. He loves the way she smells. The vanilla and strawberries scent and her underlying Bella smell is intoxicating. It’s sweet, like she is, warm, like she is, and appetizing, like she is. He reaches out his tongue, and runs it along the length of her spine, all the way up to the nape of her neck. She squirms a sigh of pleasure and shifts to turn around, but he holds her still with a hand on her hip._

_“Not yet, baby.”_

_He pauses to inhale the scent of her hair, then moves it off her neck and traces his nose back and forth over the trapezius muscle connecting her neck to her shoulder, back and forth, several times. He kisses along the same path, back and forth. He bares his teeth and lightly nips, and then massages the tiny bite with his tongue. She moans and tries to roll over again. He holds her still._

_“Not yet, baby.”_

_He lifts her arm forward so he can access the skin along her side. He knows she’s sensitive there, and runs his nose along her flesh again, still surrounded by her scent. Up and down, up and down. He extends his plump bottom lip to trace the same path as he moves back up, dragging along her skin. She’s tingling all over from these gentle, barely there caresses. He reaches a particularly ticklish spot, and tortures her gently with his tongue. She squirms and giggles, and he relishes the sound. She tries to roll back again, and he pushes her gently but firmly onto her stomach. She’s not getting the hint. He chuckles, and the deep, warm sound washes over her._

_“Not yet, baby.”_

_He moves to the other side of her back, and runs his nose up and down just to the left of her spine. He could do this all night. Maybe he will. (No, he won’t). He switches to light kisses, up and down, and then runs his tongue along her flank. Her breathing grows heavy. So does his._

_She has no idea how long he’s been doing this, but it’s torture. Wonderful, sweet torture. He hasn’t touched any of her obvious erogenous zones, and she’s panting with want. But he won’t let her turn over. He won’t let her touch him, and he’s barely touching her. She grips the pillow beneath her head and tries to hold still._

_Thankfully, he moves down of his own accord. She is very close to begging. He runs his nose along the fold under her left buttock, and then traces it with his tongue. He places tiny kisses all over her bottom. The tingling all over her body is turning into a warm flush, a deep heat. She is growing wet and swollen right where it counts._

_His kisses change to little bites. He can’t resist. He’s not going to use his teeth enough to leave any marks, not tonight, and he pushes down the urge to really sink his teeth into her soft flesh. Each time she feels a little pinch, a jolt of pleasure shoots to her core. He’s so close to where she wants him to be. Her want is rapidly turning into need._

_He uses his hand to spread her legs apart, and she sighs in relief. She’s not sure how much more teasing she can take. Then she feels the tip of one finger stroke, so lightly she’s not sure he’s even there, along her outer lips. She tries to push herself down onto his hand, but he instantly moves away._

_“Not yet, baby.” His voice is low and husky. She wonders if she could come from the sound of him alone._

_He’s hot, hard, and dripping. He wants badly to pull up her hips and sink in, balls deep. She wants it too, he can tell. But the more he teases her, the harder she will come. He wants to see just how hard, and for how long, he can make her come. He sets it up as a challenge for himself. And Jacob Black does not back down from a challenge._

_He scoots down further, all the way to her feet. Her adorable little toes are wiggling. Her feet aren’t as sensitive as his, but he doesn’t mind. He can still make this work. He runs his nose along the bridge of her foot, just barely. The light sensation of his skin and the puffs of his breath turn her on even more. He repeats the motion on the other side, and then sits on his heel to bring one foot in his lap, and massages her foot with his large hands. She groans in response, so he does the same to the other foot._

_Then he releases her foot, bends down again, and licks a long pathway from just above her heel, up the backs of her leg, pausing to swirl his tongue in the back of her knee. Her hips are writhing into the mattress, trying to put some pressure on her core. He wants her so badly that he’s biting his bottom lip so hard, in order to distract himself from his desire, that he is close to drawing blood. He can’t see her face, but she’s doing the same thing. He stills her hips with his large hands and a firm touch, pulls her up on her knees just a little, and can’t wait any longer. He has to be inside her, now, at least for a little bit._

_She’s aching for him, and is so happy when he fills her a deep, single thrust. She lets out a long, “Aaaaah,” of pure satisfaction, and he pumps. He grunts low in his throat with each thrust. Once. Twice. A third time. Her breath is heaving. Her pussy is tight and hot. But he’s not done, not by a long shot. He pulls all the way out and leans back on his heels. She is bereft._

_“Not yet, baby.” His voice sounds strangled, and she knows he’s torturing himself as much as he is torturing her._

_He flips her onto her back, and then his entire body is pressed up against hers, and he’s kissing her with deep, open mouthed kisses. Her catches her whimpering breaths against his own. The weight of him is wonderful, but she wants so much more. He kisses her for long minutes, grinding his erection into her thigh. She can feel wetness seeping from the tip and sliding along her leg. As he licks along her lips, she grabs his firm ass and tries to pull his hips toward hers, but he’s too strong._

_“Not yet, baby.”_

_She pouts in protest, so he grabs her lovely bottom lip between his teeth and bites down gently. She loves it and she moans, and the sound is almost enough to break his considerable self control._

_Instead, he moves down her body, and draws her right breast deep into his mouth. This has two purposes. First, to torture her further, and second, to get his needy cock away from her body. He is determined to make this last as long as possible before fucking her. He needs to hear her beg. He sucks at the nipple deeply, and rolls the other between his fingers. She’s very sensitive here, and they both know that if he does it just right, he can make her come from this alone._

_But he doesn’t want her to come, not yet. When she comes, he’s going to be deep inside her._

_He switches his mouth and his fingers from side to side, bring her close and then backing away, over and over again. He rolls her nipple between his lips, then rapidly flicks his tongue across the tip, then sucks deeply, then stops altogether to just look at her. He has achieved one goal tonight. She has both fists buried into his thick, black hair, trying to keep his mouth in one place long enough to bring her to satisfaction. But he refuses. He does lower his mouth back to her breasts again long enough to bite down on her nipple, again gently, enough to make her cry with want, but not enough to hurt._

_He shifts up again and drags the head of his cock against her swollen, aching clit. He does it once. Twice. A third time. It’s heaven. It’s hell. She’s vibrating beneath him, head thrashing side to side. She feels him start to back away, and finally breaks down and begs, “Jacob, please, Jacob!”_

_He responds by dragging his cock against her once more, not quite enough to make her come. His voice is breaking._

_“Not yet, baby.”_

_She is more frustrated than she has ever been. She loves him. She hates him. She needs his cock, his mouth, his hands, something. She is so, so close. She just needs a little more. “No, yes... please, more!”_

_He is silent as he ignores her cries. He moves down to press his cheek to her stomach. She skin there is soft, and her belly is smooth and flat. He moves to brush his nose along her navel. He knows how close she is, that just one brush of his finger or his tongue will set her off. He’s not ready for that yet, even though she wants it more than anything. He drops light kisses on her belly and waits for her to calm down, just a little, just enough for her to back away from the edge. His skin is hot against hers, and soft. He slowly opens and closes his eyes to brush his lashes against her, and the sweetness of the gesture melts her heart._

_As soon as he’s confident that she won’t orgasm as soon as he touches her again, he bends down to rest his head between her legs. He runs his hands along her inner thighs, and just looks up at her. She picks her head up to figure out what he’s doing, and they just stare at each other for long moments. She feels open, exposed. If it were anyone else she would be scared at the look that he’s giving her. His eyes are focused, hard. There is a determined tension in his jaw. She realizes he’s memorizing her, again._

_He drops his gaze from her face to her pussy, and she can hear him take in an audible breath. He’s inhaling her essence. He wants to cover himself in it and never wash it off. Then he lowers his nose to the juncture of her thigh, and her skin tingles at the light touch. He follows with tiny kisses on her upper legs. She can feel herself throbbing, she wants him so badly. Her voice is a bare whisper, “Jacob... Jacob... please...”_

_He moves just enough to press his kisses on her outer lips. It’s closer, but it’s still not enough. In frustration, she reaches for her nipples with both hands, and rolls them between her thumbs and index fingers. She didn’t know it before Jacob started touching her, but she likes them pinched. Hard._

_He stops altogether, and moves to pull her hands away. He pins them at her sides._

_“Not yet, baby.” His voice is firm. Even though he has stopped her from pleasuring herself, has taken his lips and hands away from her core, his voice brings her level of arousal up even further. She squirms a little to see what he will do. He pins her down more firmly, and she aches for him even more. There’s nothing else she can do, so she just whimpers beneath him and bites her bottom lip. He loves it._

_When he’s confident she won’t try anything, he releases his grip and returns to her core. He opens his mouth and shoves his tongue deep inside her, and she wails. He takes long licks along her lips, then plunges his hot, thick tongue back in. She moans and squirms and clamps her thighs down on his head. He swirls his tongue in broad circles at her entrance. He studiously avoids her swollen nub, letting her climb higher and higher, and again, just when she is about to come, he pulls away._

_“Not yet, baby.”_

_She is so, so ready, so desperate, that a few tears actually slip out of the corners of her eyes. He stalks up her body, looking like the predator he is, and hovers over her. He bends his lips to capture her tears, and tastes the salt on his lips. She can’t help but be comforted by the gesture, despite her desperation. Her voice is a pleading whisper, “Jacob... Jacob.”_

_He stops her with another deep, slow kiss, doing with his tongue exactly what she wants, but in the wrong place. He’s holding his body stiffly above her, so she can’t get any other contact with her needy body. He stares hard at her mouth, determination in his eyes. He lowers his hips enough to drag his length against her wetness again, draws her lubrication along his cock. It brushes up gently against her clitoris, and she tries to wiggle down to increase the pressure, but he keeps backing away._

_After long moments of that torture, he lifts off her entirely and she wants to scream in frustration, until she sees him crawling up the bed, the predatory gleam back in his eye. She leans up on her elbow, and he kneels beside her, his swollen cock glistening with their intermingled fluids, right beside her head._

_She’s panting heavily. Oh dear lord yes. Now she can torture him like he’s been torturing her. She licks her lips in anticipation, and he sucks in a gasping breath._

_He reaches out his left hand to twist his fist in her hair, and firmly but gently draws her toward his enormous cock. She looks up to meet his eyes, her breath washing over the head of his penis. His eyes are hard and glittering, hers are desperate and pleading, and he tugs her forward. His grip is firm in her hair, but it doesn’t hurt one bit. She opens her mouth, and the head of his cock slips in between her luscious lips._

_Oh god. The taste of him and the taste of her blended together is the most sensual thing she’s ever tasted. She’s moaning openly against his skin. She enthusiastically sucks him into her mouth as she feels the pressure of his hand on the back of her head, and she reaches with her free hand to grip his base. His feral grunts are music to her ears._

_She tries to back off so that she can run her tongue along his length, but his grip is too firm. He keeps her mouth wrapped around his cock. His dominance pushes her arousal further, and she pumps and sucks enthusiastically. She doesn’t realize she’s moaning around him. His balls tighten against his body. He’s about to come, but he doesn’t want to come in her mouth. Not tonight._

_So he pulls away, suddenly, and she nearly falls over from the sudden loss of him._

_Now his voice is a growl. “Not yet, baby.”_

_He needs to calm down, or he’s going to come at any second. Not that she would mind._

_He dives back between her legs, and goes straight for her clit. She’s so close that he can only swirl his tongue around it twice before he realizes that if he doesn’t stop immediately, she’s going to orgasm. He’s still not going to let her._

_“Not yet, baby.” He’s barely audible._

_He backs off to place gentle kisses on her upper thighs again, and she begins another litany of begging. “Jacob... Jacob... please... please... I can’t take it anymore.”_

_He laves his tongue along her slit, not deep enough to be inside her, not high enough to touch her clitoris, and listens to her as she squirms. “You have to... I need... Please, Jacob. Anything. Do anything to me. Do anything with me. I’m yours. Just, please!”_

_She fists his hair with both hands and tries to pull his mouth more firmly on her body. He loves the tugging sensation on his scalp._

_He grins lasciviously at her and crawls back up her length and stares down at her. Her hair is a mess from thrashing against the pillow. Her whole body is flushed and she is covered in a sheen of sweat. The smell of her arousal is enough to make him dizzy, and he can taste her essence on his tongue. She is gripping at his scalp so hard that she has broken the skin. He feels like a god._

_He drags his cock against her clitoris one more time, and then holds still, and finally lets her squirm a bit against him to relieve her need. But again, when she’s about to come, he pulls back, and she moans in frustration. “Jacob, Jacob, fuck me, please!”_

_“Not yet, baby.”_

_Instead, he lowers his lips to her neck and licks over her pulse point. She writhes and arches her back, just able to press her hard nipples against his chest. It’s the most contact that he allows her. He licks long lines over the column of her throat, and then gently bites down on her clavicle._

_She’s a mess. She hasn’t stopped moaning or begging or wailing for several minutes. She arches, wiggles, squirms, and grabs at his arms and his shoulders. She grips his firm buttocks and tries to bring him closer, but he’s going to do what he wants, when he wants, and there’s nothing she can do to change his mind._

_Finally, finally he moves his hand between her legs. She feels him stroking her gently, on the outside, and whimpers more in frustration. Then he slides two fingers in as far as they will go. He stills them then, since she’s so close to coming, any more movement at all will set her off. She clenches at his hand with her internal muscles and tries to wiggle to make contact with the base of his hand against her clitoris. He stays just out of reach as he keeps his face buried in her neck, breathing her in._

_He waits until she’s not quite so close, then curls his fingers just a little, inside her cunt where several nerve endings come together. She cries out, locks her legs around his hand, and tries to keep him there, but he removes his hand. Her whole body aches with his withdrawal._

_“Jacob! Jacob! I need you! Fuck me, fuck me, please!”_

_He can’t take it any longer, either. He has to be inside her. His cock is so hard it hurts. He centers his hips between her legs, and pushes just the head of his cock in. He’s almost as close as she is, so he moves at a snail’s pace until he’s buried to the hilt. He holds her hips still with his hands so she can’t wiggle against him, can’t bring herself any more pleasure on his body than he is willing to give. He settles deep inside her, and doesn’t move._

_She feels so, so full. She’s crying again, both needing him to move and being so, so happy that he’s inside her. He’s gigantic, and even not moving at all, he feels amazing filling her. They’re both vibrating with tension, but otherwise not moving. It’s torture. She keeps begging. “Please, please, Jacob, move.”_

_She can barely hear him, even though his mouth is right next to her ear._

_“Not yet, baby.”_

_They’re both so close that if he makes a single move, it’ll be all over. And he’s just finally made it inside her. He still wants this part to last._

_He kisses her lips, her nose, her ears, her cheeks, staying still, deep in her body. She clenches and releases around him, but gradually comes down a bit from the edge. When she finally feels a little relaxed, he begins to move. He only pulls back a couple inches before he pushes back inside. He rocks gently against her and in her. It’s wonderful._

_Her fingernails are still digging into his back, leaving marks. He wishes he wouldn’t heal so fast, so that he could feel what she’s left on his skin after they are done._

_Slowly, slowly, he moves. He leaves his angle such that he doesn’t drag against her clitoris, and the gentle pace keeps her from having an orgasm. Right now she doesn’t care. She has been waiting all night. She can wait a little longer, now that she feels so full with him. She knows he won’t stop until she’s completely satisfied. She moans and sighs and relaxes a bit as he slips in and out of her, so gently._

_She wants him to know how she feels. “You make me feel so good, Jacob.” She pauses for a long, “aaaah,” as he slips mostly out of her, and then an extended, “mmmmmm” as he rocks back in. “I want to keep you here forever.”_

_He grins, and she understands that that is what this evening has been about. Making it last as long as possible. Making their time together last as close to forever as he can. The look in his eye is different. He wants her to be happy._

_She stretches and arches her back as he continues slipping in and out of her. Now he’s the one moaning, continuously. But still not picking up the pace enough for either of them to come._

_“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, Jacob Black.”_

_He pulls his face from her neck and looks at her. He smiles, a warm, happy smile, and pulls nearly out of her. He shifts to sit on his ankles, draw her butt up so she’s resting her backside on his knees, braces his hands on either side of her waist, her knees bent around his forearms. “Now, Jake?” she asks._

_“Now, honey.” He finally, finally, slams firmly into her body._

_They both wail. He’s finally done torturing her. This time, he pounds harder and harder into her with each thrust. He’s ready for her to come, and they both know it. He wants her to come harder than she ever has. “Yes! Unh... Unh... Yes!... Oh!” She screams with each deep thrust. He’s grunting and sweating, and she has to reach over her head to brace her hands against the headboard so she doesn’t slam into it. He’s biting his bottom lip so hard he bleeds. She punctuates each thrust with a yell, “Fuck!... Fuck!... Jake!... Fuck!”. Bella feels the explosion building deep within her belly. Her entire body is shaking. She can’t keep her eyes open. Can’t get in enough air. He’s as deep as he can go with each movement of his hips, and he finally grinds against her clit to punctuate the thrust. Once. Twice. A third time. She comes so hard she sees stars behind her closed eyes. Screams his name on one long breath, “Jaaaaaake!”, her hot pussy clenching around his desperate cock, and passes out._

_It takes him a few seconds to realize what happened. She’s too relaxed under him. Shit. He wanted to fuck her into oblivion. But not literally. He doesn’t know what to do. He hasn’t come yet, and his balls ache, his cock hurts. He can’t seem to stop fucking her, but it feels wrong. She’s not around to tell him it’s okay. He reduces his thrusts to shallow rocking. It’s the best he can do, he needs her so badly._

_When she comes to, it’s probably only a minute later. Her whole body is humming, and he is still fucking her, slowly and gently. She opens her heavy lids to look up into his face. He looks like he’s in physical pain. He’s as desperate now as she was earlier._

_As he rocks in and out of her, he groans, “Unh... Honey... Unh... Are you... unh... okay?” She nods and smiles a blissful smile at him. “Mmph... I’m sorry... I should’ve... unh... stopped... Unh... I can’t stop... unh... You feel so... mmph... so fucking... mmph... so good...”_

_It was a turn on, before, her usually talkative Jacob being silent, other than his denials of “Not yet, baby” in her ears. She’s more used to this. It’s also turning her back on, that and the rocking of his cock inside her. She stares at his mouth. His plump, red lips swollen and wet. “I’m glad you didn’t stop, baby. I always want to wake up this way. With your cock in me.”_

_“Fuuuuck...” he groans, and picks up his pace. “I need... Unh... I need... to fuck you... I need... Unh... Goddamn... Unh... Can I fuck you... harder baby... or is it... unh... too much... unh...” He swallows thickly._

_She’s getting keyed up again, his broken, desperate words telling her how badly he wants her. She peeks up at him through her lashes, and bites her bottom lip. He stares at it, remember her lips around his shaft, licking their mutual fluids off him._

_“You think.. mmm... after all that... mmm... teasing... that I’m gonna... unhh... let you... get away... unhh... with just... one orgasm?”_

_Her clit is throbbing again, her womb aches for him to pound into her again._

_“God... thank god... oh, Bella...” He pumps firmly a couple more times, and pulls out._

_She surprised until he turns her over, and pulls her up on her knees. He pushes down her shoulder, and tells her, “Grab the headboard, baby. Brace yourself. I have to take you. Like the animal that I am,” he growls._

_She moves to follow his instructions, and waits. She hears him shifting behind her, and then the sound of flesh on flesh, but feels nothing. She turns her head, and nearly comes again when she sees what he’s doing. He’s sitting back on his heels, staring at her dripping core and submissive position, pupils black and dilated, biting his bottom lip hard. Oh god. Jacob is touching himself. He is gripping himself tightly in his right hand and is pumping firmly. Harder than she would have thought to do. Her mouth goes dry. She gets lightheaded with arousal as she watches him._

_He tears his gaze from her lower body and meets her eyes. “You like watching me, honey?”_

_She can’t think the words she needs to respond, so she just nods, and looks back down at his huge length in his fist._

_He whispers, “I wanna watch you too. I wanna watch you come all over your own hand.”_

_Does he want it now? She’s nervous, but if he gets as turned on watching her as she is watching him, she’s willing. She gulps in air and starts to straighten up._

_He lets go of himself and pushes her back down, gripping her shoulder. His hand is still wet from touching himself, her fluids and his mingled on his hand. She shudders with want. “Some other time, baby. I have to be in you now.” And he buries himself in her again._

_Oh. Oh. Goddamn. This angle is the best yet. She falls forward, her forehead touching the pillow. He slides out. Slides back in. Each movement drags the head of his penis against the front of her walls, hitting something... something... she can’t even finish the thought. She’s overwhelmed._

_He pumps deeply into her, grunting with each thrust. He can’t talk any longer, and neither can she. Her voice escapes her in a long, continuous moan, punctuated only by gasping. He grabs her hips in both hands, trying to keep her still so he can get as deep as possible with each thrust of his hips. He goes faster. And faster. And faster. Each time stroking his big cock against that... something... that makes Bella crazy._

_Her voice drives him mad. He can hear his own growls and grunts in the background, but his ears are filled with her continuous, “Aaaaaaaah,” punctuated by a loud, “mmph” each time he hits her cervix. He wants to record it, play it back whenever he needs to hear her._

_She struggles to stay partly upright, one hand braced against the headboard to keep them from moving up the bed with his pounding, the other grabbing the pillow underneath her. He sounds like an animal. His grunts turn into snarls. He pistons into her. She feels him bend forward so his chest is pressed up against her back, forcing his cock at an angle that presses him even harder into the spot that makes her wild, and she starts to come apart around him again._

_She comes, and comes, and comes. He buries his face in her hair. He keeps her firmly in place with his left hand grasping her hip, and keeps pounding, drawing out her orgasm to incredible lengths. He supports his bent position with his right hand on top of hers on the headboard. He couldn’t get any closer to her if he tried. She’s still coming, and now becoming overly sensitive, so he slows his hips a bit and draws in deep, calming breaths. She’s squirming a bit now, and not in a good way, so he holds himself still, buried fully inside her._

_He waits until she has calmed down a bit and her breathing has slowed. He licks his lips and asks her, his voice as deep as she has ever heard, “Can you take any more, honey?”_

_“Oh, God, Jacob. You’re insatiable. Whatever you have to give me. God, yes.”_

_So he sits back on his heels again, and draws her backward into his lap. She has said she’s ready for more, but he can tell she could use another minute to regroup. So he leaves her sitting on his cock, back pressed up to his, her legs bent on either side of his, and moves her hair aside to kiss along her neck. He feels her spasm around him a little when he reaches the sensitive spot behind her ear. He reaches around and cups her breasts in both hands. Her throbs inside her. She tilts her head to the side to kiss him, and brings her arm up and to the side to bury her hand into his hair again. He loves it. As his lips meet hers, he pinches her left nipple gently between his fingers, and slips his right hand down. He gathers some of their wetness with his fingers, feeling with his hand where their bodies are joined, and slips one finger over her clitoris._

_She bucks and moans, and has to let go of his lips as she arches her back, pressing her breast further into his hand, rocking forward against his cock. She keeps her hand buried in his hair, and squirms and moves over him._

_He clenches his jaw. He really, really wants to lift her up and slam her down, but he knows how good his fingers feel on her clitoris, and he can’t manage both at once, so he waits just a little longer. He buries his nose into the crook of her neck, pinches her nipple harder, and works her clitoris with his hand._

_Her whole body is tingling with pleasure. She grabs her other breast with her free hand and tugs at the nipple the same way he’s doing with his other hand. He lets out a guttural moan at her movement, his cock twitches inside her, otherwise still, and speeds his fingers against her nub in rapid circles. It doesn’t take long. She couldn’t hold out if she wanted to. When he gently pinches her clit between his soaking thumb and forefinger, and rolls, she’s gone. Her head falls back against his shoulder, and she rides the wave._

_She’s coming again, bucking and writhing all over him, and he can’t take it any longer. He grabs her by the hips, picks her up so far he almost slides out, and yanks her back down. His hips buck up in rhythm with his hands on her hips. He does it again, and again, and again. She keeps coming all over him as he slams her onto his cock, hard. He’s just yelling incoherent nonsense now, a jumble of feral snarls and cursing. In her orgasmic haze, she realizes she’s swearing as well, and just when she thinks she’ll pass out again, she feels him stiffen against her, and he roars. He slams her against his body one last time, his seed exploding, and exploding, and exploding against her womb._

_They collapse onto their sides, still joined, and both instantly fall into a deep, dreamless sleep._

 


	15. Chapter 15

X-x-x-x-X

Wednesday

X-x-x-x-X

 Bella peers at her reflection early the next morning. Her lips are swollen and a deep shade of pink, her skin is flushed and practically glowing, and she has sex hair. How does this happen when you're by yourself? She is so, so glad that Edward wasn't in her room last night. She is absolutely certain that she must have been calling out Jacob's name all night long. She can only hope that Charlie slept through it.

When she sees him at breakfast, she asks him again about his UPS box, which neither of them has found. It is starting to bother her. Where could it have gone? On the bright side, she is confident Charlie didn't hear her last night, or if he did, is willfully misinterpreting what he heard. He isn't acting awkward around her, and whatever skills Charlie possesses, hiding his embarrassment around her isn't one of them.

She isn't so lucky when she runs into Leah Clearwater after her shift at Newton's. She is shopping for groceries so that she can make dinner. Leah is pushing a half-full cart with one hand, clutching a cup of coffee in her other fist, and glaring at Bella. She looks exhausted.

"So, if it isn't the little porn star."

Bella's eyes widen in horror, and her jaw drops open. Oh, no. Not again. "Who was on patrol?" she whispers, afraid of the answer. There are no acceptable answers to this question, just bad ones, and worse ones.

"Yours truly. I'm stuck on nighttime leech-lover patrol for the indefinite future, or at least until Jake comes back to screw some sense back into you."

Bella has no idea how to respond to either of these statements, neither about Leah nor about Jacob. "I'm sorry?" Bella squeaks.

"Yeah. Every one of the pansy-ass guys are too embarrassed to sit outside your window and listen to you moaning on about Jake. So I got stuck with it. You know, most of the time we rotate the night shifts to give each other a break. But no one is willing to help me out this time around. Go figure."

Bella just blinks blankly at Leah.

"Even the virgins have watched their fair share of porn. You'd think none of them had ever heard a woman groan before."

Bella is redder than she had ever been, and is still gaping at Leah. Bella isn’t sure it could get any worse. Poor Edward has heard her, innocent, sweet Seth, Leah of course, and by proxy, all of the wolves. Oh god. Probably Jacob himself. “Has... has he... has he” she stutters.

“Has Jacob overheard you? Not yet, I don’t think. He hasn’t phased in a couple days.”

“After he killed that vampire?”

Leah looks confused. “Yeah, how’d you know about that?”

“Edward told me.”

“Oh, wow. I would have loved to have heard that conversation. Why do I have to hear you beg for Jake’s...” she trails off and gestures vaguely with her hand, “every night, but I’m never around for the good stuff?”

Bella finally frowns at Leah, “Well, if it’s any consolation, it was every bit as awful as you’d think it would be.”

Leah looks genuinely curious. “So, have you dumped his sparkly ass yet?”

Bella isn’t ready to be having this conversation, especially not with Leah Clearwater. “Not, not exactly.”

Both of Leah’s eyebrows rise up on her forehead. “Not exactly?” She prompts.

Bella can’t stop stuttering, “Not... not... not...”

“Not yet?” Leah fills in the gap.

Bella still can’t think it, let alone say it out loud. She remains silent.

“Well, I think he’s getting the hint, you know. When he came into your room last night, it only took, like, five minutes of you screaming out Jake’s name to drive him out the window. Creepy, if you ask me.” She pauses and thinks for a moment, then corrects herself. “Even creepier than usual, I mean.”

Damn. She thought he was staying away. She thought Rose and Alice were going to keep him out of her bedroom last night. She stutters uselessly again, “I... I...I didn’t...”

Leah rolls her eyes. "Okay, fine. This has been a stimulating and riveting conversation, though. You’re a real wordsmith, Swan. I'm gonna get going. I'm trying to get home in time to take a nap before I have to be back at your house tonight." She starts to push her cart away.

Bella finds her voice just in time. “Hey, Leah, don’t...” she trails off, still incoherent and embarrassed.

Leah turns back to look at her. “Don’t tell Jake?” 

Bella nods.

Leah scoffs. “Fat chance! The sooner I get his sexy butt back here, the sooner I can sleep in my own bed at night. Even if you don’t actually let him screw your brains out, I’m sure he’ll be happy to sit outside all night long listening to you scream his name.”

Bella forgets half the items she needed at the store. 

X-x-x-x-X

Saturday

X-x-x-x-X

Three days pass before Bella sees Leah in person again. Charlie has just started a string of (misnamed) afternoon shifts, so her evenings are her own. She had asked Edward for time, and he is giving it to her. Part of her is disappointed he has listened to her, but more of her is relieved. It doesn’t stop Alice from coming to see her, though, and she is grateful for the continued friendship. It makes her wonder whether she can keep the Cullens in her life even if she doesn’t become one of them.

Her dreams have continued to be vivid and amazing (privately) and humiliating (publicly), and she actually feels a bit relieved when she realizes that Leah is probably still the only one in the past few days who has heard them directly. She has studiously avoided going to bed before Charlie, despite how late he gets home, for fear that he will walk into the house, hear her screaming and moaning at an absent Jacob, and burst into her bedroom, gun in hand, ready to murder his best friend’s son. She waits until he falls asleep before she allows herself to sleep, and the next morning he keeps acting normally, so she is confident he hasn’t heard her.

On Saturday, a heavy rain begins to fall after the sun goes down. It is heavy on the roof, pouring over the edges of the gutter, and causing the backyard to turn into a giant mud puddle. She looks outside and thinks of Leah in the soaking cold, miserable, waiting for Bella to embarrass herself when she sleeps. She debates for several minutes, thinking of the last time she invited a wolf in from the rain, but finally opens the door and calls for Leah, who soon comes stalking out of the woods, soaked from head to toe.

“What is it, Swan?” Leah gets right to the point.

Bella holds out a steaming cup of tea, realizes it is rapidly getting diluted with rainwater, and pulls herself back under the shelter of the porch. “Why don’t you wait it out in here?”

Leah debates momentarily, looking between the warm, dry house, and the cold, dripping forest. “I guess since my whole job here is to keep you from dying, I can probably accomplish it just as well from inside your house, huh?”

Bella steps back to let her in, and hands her the tea and goes to get a towel. By the time she gets back, the mug has been drained, and Leah is squeezing rainwater out of her flimsy sundress. Bella can see every outline of her body through the soaked clothes, and feels simultaneous stabs of jealousy and pity for Leah, who can’t possibly enjoy her wolf brothers seeing her like this. But what Bella wouldn’t give to look more like Leah. Leah catches her staring, and begins, “Take a picture, Swan, it’ll last... oh, screw it. I don’t have the energy. Thanks for letting me in.”

Bella startles herself by laughing out loud at the aborted statement, and Leah surprises herself by laughing back.

“What a pair we are, Swan.” She towels off her hair.

“I don’t have much that’s long enough to fit you, but Charlie has a comfy old bathrobe that would work, and it’s clean. I just washed it.”

Leah hands over her used towel and nods, heading into the bathroom to change. When she returns, Bella has two different mugs waiting. “I made hot chocolate,” she points at one cup, “and hot chocolate with a couple scoops of instant coffee, for the caffeine.”

Leah reaches for the second. “You read my mind.”

“Well, I really can’t thank you enough...”

Leah immediately cuts her off with a wave of her hand, “Please don’t get all mushy. You’re welcome.” She looks up with a hard look in her eye. “Just don’t waste all our hard work keeping you alive, okay?”

Bella frowns into her hot chocolate. She doesn’t particularly want to have a heart to heart conversation with Leah Clearwater, but the list of people she can talk to is very short. “I don’t know what to do.”

Leah snorts. “Yes, you do.”

Bella looks up at her. “I’m not as strong as you are, Leah. I can’t fall for him only to watch him look into some other girl’s eyes, and suddenly lose it all."

“Isn’t it a little late for that?”

“What do you mean?”

Leah shakes her head incredulously. “Anyone within earshot of this place knows you’ve already fallen for him, Swan. That ship has sailed.”

“Leah, I can’t...” She stops to gather her thoughts, and Leah interrupts her.

“Like, say he comes back tomorrow with his imprint in tow. Are you gonna be any less devastated by it since you never actually gave in and enjoyed him to begin with?”

The thought is a nightmare. She wonders just how far she can push this conversation. “If you knew then what you know now, wouldn’t you have just skipped it all?”

Now Leah looks angry. “How dare you, Swan. I may be a bitter bitch sometimes, but do not presume to know me.”

“But wouldn’t you have?”

“Wouldn’t I have dumped him before he could dump me? If I could go back and change things, that’s not what I would have changed. But I’d change plenty. I’d get those damn bloodsuckers to leave before they fucked everything up. I’d have taken my dad’s bacon away and replaced it with bran. I’d have made sure to be far the hell away from him the first time I phased. I’d get the fuck out of LaPush before I could turn into a wolf. I’d drag Sam out of LaPush before he could become a wolf. I wouldn’t have skipped Sam.”

Bella has no reply for this.

Leah continues, “I’m not gonna tell you he’ll always love you, never leave you, never imprint. I, of all people, am not going to recommend to you that you get involved with a goddamn werewolf. But if you think that marrying that monster and turning into a bloodsucking murderer is going to solve your problems, you’re out of your damn mind.” Her voice is surprisingly gentle considering her harsh words.

“And anyway, Jake hates imprinting more than any of us. More than me, even, believe it or not. I have no idea if he could break it or not, although he seems to think so. But I don’t doubt that he would at least try.” She pauses for a sip of her drink. “Besides. Men aren’t supposed to come with lifetime guarantees.”

Bella is just too curious, and can’t help herself. “Do you want it to happen to you?”

Leah looks startled, “You mean, do I want to imprint?” Bella nods.

“I don’t think I can. I mean, that’s why Sam didn’t imprint on me. I’ve got the bloodline. If I could have kids, he’d have imprinted on me. So I don’t think it’s a possibility.”

“Why not? Just because you weren’t supposed to have kids with him, why does that mean you’re not supposed to have kids with anybody?” Bella is genuinely confused.

“Damn. Do I have to spell it out for you? I don’t bleed anymore, Swan.”

“Since you phased?”

“Yeah. I’m a genetic dead end.”

Bella is still very confused. “But you’re not aging right now. Your body is in some kind of time-lock stasis. You can stop phasing and start aging again, right?”

“Yeah, so?”

“So when your body isn’t locked in this one moment in time, you’ll probably start ovulating again. Get your period back. Did you have it before you phased?”

Leah actually doesn’t look angry right now. “Yeah, I did. It stopped when I phased.”

“So, there you go. You’ll just have to wait a bit before you can have kids."

"I'm not so sure about that." Leah looks very skeptical, but not angry any longer.

“Well, who really knows, anyway? Maybe you aren’t Sam’s imprint for some other reason. Like, you were really just supposed to be a wolf and not his mate. Like, can you imagine being double imprinted members of the pack? You’d be terrible at defending the pack or LaPush. Imagine two wolves, imprinted on each other, during a fight. The two of you wouldn't be able to think straight, coordinate with the other wolves. You'd be too freaked out about each other to accomplish anything."

"Maybe." She still looks doubtful.

They keep drinking in silence until bella asks, "Can I ask you for a favor?"

"Depends on the favor, I think."

"Can you let me know when Edward sneaks into my room?"

"Do you want me to stop him? I would love to stop him," Leah grins predatorily.

"No, just let me know, after?"

Leah narrows her eyes, but agrees. "You're sending him some mixed signals, Swan. You need me to spy on him, but you're still letting him in?"

"He's my fiancé, Leah."

She rolls her eyes. "You just keep telling yourself that."

Just then Charlie’s cruiser parks in the driveway. Leah opens the back door, steps out, and casually sticks her bare arm back inside with Charlie’s bathrobe in hand. “Night, Swan.”

“Night, Leah.” 

X-x-x-x-X

Saturday

X-x-x-x-X

The last few days have been fruitless for Jacob. He hasn't caught wind of the rogue vampire in days, and is considering returning home. But he had also spoken with Billy on the phone, who reassured him that there had been no sign of the vampire in LaPush or Forks, either, so he has decided to give it another couple days.

It's getting late, and the sun has set over the western horizon. The lights of the city are reflecting off the low hanging clouds. Mina has already headed in for the night, giving him a little wave as she pushed her cart away from him. True to her word, she has been plying him with free cones every time they've run across each other. And since he keeps stalking the park, they have seen each other every day. It has gotten to the point that he has to watch out and avoid her for fear that she will start to wonder why he is taking another jog, again, three hours after she saw him doing the exact same thing.

She is still dropping hints left and right, and he is still artfully dodging them, although he is starting to wonder why. Just because he's desperately in love with someone else? Bella doesn't want him, won't ever choose him, so why doesn't he just move on?

He tries to imagine living differently. Staying here, maybe getting a job, taking Mina out on dates. He could probably make a decent life. But it would mean not going home, abandoning his father, abandoning his pack, hell, never graduating from high school, trying to pass like he's in his twenties like she is. Maybe that's how he should fend her off. Tell her his actual age and see if she runs off. It seems to freak Bella out plenty, and she's only two years older than he.

But Bella is the only future he can really see. She fits into his world just as easily as she fits in his arms. If they were together, when he got out of bed at midnight to run patrol, she wouldn't bat an eye. When he broke a bone and healed within a day, she wouldn’t look twice. When his friends came to their house and ate their cupboards bare, she'd just roll her eyes and restock. She could go off to college, they could write and call and talk online, he would live for the times she comes home for the holidays and they could make Christmas dinner for their fathers. Maybe he could join her at school if the Cullens would only leave, and stop attracting other monsters to Forks. He could still become an architect or an engineer, and they could move to a big city. Or he could go to school online and wait for her to come home, and they could build a life together. He could take over as Alpha when Sam wants to step down. They could get married, she could teach at the school or open up a little business of her own, or write a novel. He could open a shop or become one of Charlie's deputies, and take care of her. They could have kids. Lots of kids. They could do anything.

And best of all, he could make her happy. He could make her so, so happy. It would be his most important goal in life. He can envision a hundred different futures. Each and every one contains Bella. Bella Black, not Isabella Cullen.

He wonders what she's doing right now. Probably wrapped in a monster’s freezing embrace. He can't think about it too much or he will phase. It definitely doesn't occur to him that she is saying goodbye to Leah Clearwater after having a conversation about him.

He is startled out of his reverie by a breeze from the west blowing a nasty, acrid stench his way.

The hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and he resists the urge to phase. He needs more information before he runs off to kill a leech. He is certain that there are no humans nearby. He waits, quietly, and feels it approach from his left. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see that it isn't bothering to hide its rapid movement, too fast to be human, and is headed straight for him. He keeps his arms crossed over his chest, his legs sticking out in front of the bench he's sitting on, overlooking the water. He keeps his gaze trained straight ahead.

It sits next to him, staring at him blatantly. It is tall, blonde, and voluptuous. It would probably be pretty if it wasn't a horrible dead thing. It smells absolutely disgusting. Bleach, sweetness, ammonia, and decay. He tries to hold a straight face as he looks over the water. It has an underlying scent beyond its own that he recognizes. It smells, just a little, like that vampire he's tracking. This one must have been in relatively recent contact with the one he wants.

Its voice is low, and it is probably trying to sound seductive. The sound is like taking a cheese grater to his eardrums. "She didn't say you were so... beautiful." The horrible thing is stroking one of its cold fingers down his arm. He tries hard not to shudder in response. "It's too bad you smell of wet dog." It pauses and grins at him, still running its fingers up and down. "Lucky for me, I can hold my breath for a really, really long time."

It is taking every ounce of his considerable self control to stay human. But the more it talks, the more information he can gather. "What else did she say about me?"

The thing is still grinning at him. It has death's smile. "That you're very persistent." It moves its hand up to stroke the back of his neck. "I rather like that in a man."

He waits. It brings its face in close to his, sniffing at his pulse point, and then it pulls back and wrinkles its nose. "I don't think I could stand to drink you."

He can barely resist the urge to phase, but clamps it down hard within himself and remains still. Other than talking, he still hasn't budged. Not even to blink.

The vampire drops its voice so he can barely hear. "Maybe that's a good thing. I don't have enough self-control, otherwise. Since I've been turned, I haven't been able to resist the bloodlust long enough to fully enjoy a human man. I want to, I do. I miss the heat. I miss the friction. I miss taking a man. Like you."

Jacob is nauseous. Between the stench, its deadly, cold touch, and its awful words, he can barely stand it. But it hasn't given him any useful information, and he's out of leads. This thing is his best bet. He focuses his mind on Bella. His beautiful, warm, soft, sweet Bella. He can do this, for Bella.

"Is that why she told you to find me? She thought I might..." he can barely get the words out. The closest he can get is, "lend you a hand?"

It laughs, "No, of course not, no. It's just a bonus. I'm supposed to kill you." It winks at him. "She knows I like a challenge."

Thank god. He's finally getting somewhere. He has to keep her talking. He still hasn't looked it in the eye. He knows that once he does, he will be too tempted to phase and rip its head off. Right now, though, it just thinks this is his version of playing hard to get. Most human men are instantly smitten with it, and it prefers to play cat and mouse.

"And what makes her think I'm a challenge?"

"Well, you're still here, aren't you? You're still on her trail despite her best attempts at evasion. And her particular skills make her quite adept at evasion."

He would love to know what those skills are, but can't imagine this leech will just give it up, despite how talkative it is. He tries anyway. "Which are what, exactly?"

It looks at him incredulously, "You mean you don't know? I thought that's how you managed to follow her this far."

He shakes his head. And she replies, "Well, if I don't kill you tonight, have fun finding out."

He isn't sure it will give up any more information, but asks anyway. "So why doesn't she just come out and face me? Why send you?"

Now it looks amused. "She seems to think she's no match for you, physically. Although, despite your fine form," it is back to stroking his arm again, "I fail to see how a man such as yourself could hope to overpower her."

He drops his voice low and looks her straight in the eye. "Would you like to find out?"

It works. The leech thinks he is giving into its physical charms. It licks its lips and nods, eyeing him from head to toe. He has never felt more like a piece of meat.

He stands and hold his hand out to it. "Not here. Too public."

It places its hard hand in his, and he pulls it toward the woods. Once they are far enough in that they can't be seen from the path, it pushes him up against a tree and rips his shirt open. It breathes a soft, "Oh, my."

He tries to slow it down by talking. "What's your name?"

It smiles and traces a sharp nail down the center of his chest, and along his abdominal muscles. He stamps sown a shudder of revulsion. "I think we're done talking, don't you?" It reaches for the button of his shorts and lowers the zipper.

He swallows hard, tasting acid and bile in the back of his throat as it tugs off his shorts. He just has one more question. It's gaping at him. "How big is that when you're all ready to go?"

"Tell me where to find her, and I'll show you." His voice is a growl.

It looks back up to meet his eyes. "Oh, no. How stupid do you think I am?" It has one hand on his hip and the other wrapped around the back of his neck.

He reaches out a hand to brush its hair away behind its shoulder, bends down to place his mouth against the side of its neck, and whispers, "Pretty fucking stupid," and phases instantly, baring his teeth and sinking them into its hard flesh, knocking it onto the forest floor.

It would scream if it could. But he has ripped its larynx out already. It is looking up at him with wide, surprised eyes. But its survival instinct takes over, and it tries to push him off. Which is a mistake. It should have wrapped its arms around him and squeezed, but its attempt to push on his chest just brings its arms into range of his jaws, so he snaps the right arm cleanly off. It bats at his flank with its left arm, cracking a rib, and shoves at his belly with its feet, pushing him off. As he lands gracefully on all fours, it tries to stand and crouch defensively, but the effect is pathetic and comical with its missing limb and head wobbling on its damaged base.

Faintly, he hears Leah and Quil yelling in his head.

_What the fuck, man!_

_What the Hell are you doing?_

_Is that it, Jake? The one you've been looking for?_

_How come you get all the action?_

_Jake, she's trying to fake you!_

Jacob has seen this already. It is faking to the left, which makes no sense since this would leave its useless right side open to him, so clearly it will try to turn last second and try for him with its left arm, or perhaps its legs, if it can get that close. He easily dodges the move and steps out of the way. It crashes into the tree behind him, cracking the tree in half. It executes a rather impressive backflip to land squarely on its feet, and faces him again.

_What are you waiting for? Finish her!_

_He's just toying with her. May as well have a little fun._

He was going to drag more information out of it, but it clearly can't talk anymore. He really should put it out of its misery.

So he springs toward it, and it manages to dodge out of his way enough to keep its head attached to its body, but not enough to keep its other arm.

He hears Quil in his head, ridiculously yelling, _Oh, snap!_

While Leah is yelling, _Just rip the head off already, stop screwing around! It can still get its legs around you and crush you!_

So before it can figure out how to defend itself with no arms, he leaps at it and knocks off its head with one huge claw. Then it's quick work ripping apart the rest of the body. As he does so, Quil and Leah are asking him to fill them in, so he flashes back over the encounter.

Quil, of course, misses every important point and zeroes in on Jacob's supposed seduction of the vampire.

_Oh, man, it's like the patented Jake Black special! Twice in a row now. Strip naked to distract them with your hot body and, bam, off comes their head! What a move!_

Leah is just laughing at him now.

Quil continues, _Leah, you have to tell Bella! She's gonna be crazy jealous when she finds out her man stripped for a hot blonde bloodsucker. You should have tapped that before you killed her, man!_

Leah and Jacob cry out simultaneously, _No! Sick! No!_

Leah asks, _Aside from the obvious wrongness of that, how would that even work? They're hard as stone. Have either of you jerkoffs ever tried to have sex with a rock, even if it had a hole in it?_

Quil replies, _Who cares? The thing was still hot. He could have at least gotten to see it naked._

Leah pauses and notices Jacob contemplating Quil's reference to Bella. He wants to know but is too nervous to ask.

Quil gets right to it. _Oh, Jake, she totally wants you. All night, every night, she's begging, moaning, “Jacob, I want you, take me.”_

Jake is stunned. He involuntarily flashes back to a vivid memory of Bella writhing beneath him, begging him to fuck her.

_Yeah, man, it sounds just like that. How could you not tell us! We thought you were pathetically pining away for her, but you've been having her this whole time? How'd you hide it, man?_

Jacob clamps down on the memory, hiding it away. _I haven't, I swear. That was just a dream. It never happened. I swear._

Leah pipes in. _Well, if that's a dream, then Bella's been having them too. I got stuck doing all the nighttime Swan house patrols because everyone else is too embarrassed, or too interested,_ she thinks at Quil _, to do them. I have to listen to her version of those, like, every night. And trust me, Jake, she ain't dreaming about the bloodsucker._

Then Leah gets an involuntary memory of Edward continuing to climb in and out of Bella's window, and Jacob can't watch it. He says a quick goodbye and phases out, excusing himself to take care of the vampire's remains.

It takes all night, and he doesn't get to sleep until the next morning. When he does, he doesn't dream.


	16. Chapter 16

X-x-x-x-X

Sunday

X-x-x-x-X

Bella wakes up feeling totally unrefreshed. She has dreamt of an empty room 128 again, tossing and turning in Jacob's bed, dozing periodically and dreaming a second layer of a dream. She recalls the scent of a baby, and soft, black hair and round, brown eyes. There was a chill radiating in the window, and no Jake to keep her warm. She wakes feeling that her arms are noticeably empty.

She is supposed to spend the day with Edward and Alice. Seeing Edward is increasingly awkward. He looks at her with sadness and hope in his mesmerizing eyes, and she forgets what she's doing. He declares his eternal love, and she makes promises she means to keep, or doesn't. He is frantic about Alice's flickering visions about her future. He worries over her, begs her to let him protect her life by ending it, and she doesn't let him. She makes excuses about waiting for the wedding, about wanting to be human during their honeymoon, about needing to have a cover story for Charlie. She thinks to herself that she cannot let her last words to Jacob be her last words to Jacob forever, and for once Edward can almost read her mind and knows what she's not saying. But they carefully avoid speaking of him. Edward lavishes attention on her, and reminds her with word and deed why she fell in love with him. But then he kisses her, or just holds her hand, and she instinctively shivers and misses soft heat and smooth, dark skin. When they part she is more confused than ever.

At least today she will spend the day with Edward and Alice together. Alice acts as a comforting buffer. She suspects Rosalie would join them, would physically stand between them, if Edward would allow it.

They arrive just after Bella finishes eating lunch. Charlie gives Alice a warm smile and Edward a curt, polite nod, and they climb in Edward's Volvo and turn toward Port Angeles. They are, absurdly, going cake tasting. Bella should have anticipated the awkwardness of doing this with people who don't eat. She should have told the Cullens that she would do this with Charlie. Or Angela. Or someone with a giant appetite and endless room for cake in their bottomless pit of a stomach. She envisions piling into Jake's Rabbit with him, Quil, and Embry. They would surely get kicked out of the bakery. It would be loads of fun. This is not so much fun. The baker is confused and offended that Alice and Edward won't try her wares, and Bella feels like a bit of a pig trying all the flavors by herself, and sticks to tiny little bites. By the end of the session, Alice has finalized the cake design, and Bella has no idea what kind of flavor she has ordered.

Alice fills the air with her happy chatter on the way back, and Bella is grateful. Edward is glaring out the window for most of the ride, and eventually Bella sees why. There is an ashy-brown flash of fur keeping pace with the car. Finally becoming sick of his attitude, Alice finally tells Edward to relax.

He clips out, “We don’t need a chaperone. We don’t need an escort. Especially one who is a 13 year old boy.”

It must be Brady, then. Collin’s fur is much closer in color to Jacob’s. Bella is suddenly very grateful that it is Brady running with them rather than Collin. Edward probably wouldn’t have liked her reaction had she thought she had seen Jacob through the window.

Alice chides him, “It’s not like anyone gave him a choice, Edward. Like you said, he’s a 13 year old boy. I’m sure if he had his way, he would be home playing video games instead of following us to Port Angeles and back, wishing he got to eat some cake too.”

Edward keeps glaring. “He could learn to keep his thoughts to himself, as well.”

Bella has to know, “Is there any news?”

Edward bites out, “Nothing of consequence, my love.”

Meaning, of course, that something of great consequence has happened. Edward will tell her, or not, according to his own whims. She can probably just ask Leah later.

Which is exactly what she does that evening. She had sent Edward and Alice directly home, and told Charlie that they had to get home for a family dinner. He replied that it was too bad that Alice couldn’t stick around longer, conspicuously and not very subtly neglecting to mention Edward altogether. Charlie himself left only minutes later, heading to Billy’s house to watch a Mariner’s doubleheader, which would undoubtedly last long into the evening. She knew that it meant he might not even bother coming home that night, depending on how many beers he had at Billy’s. As he stepped out. he said, “Want me to say hi to Jake for you? Or better yet, you want to come say hi yourself?”

“No, no. I have too much stuff to do here. Have a good time.” They both know she has absolutely nothing to do that night. How is Billy going to explain Jacob’s absence? He’s supposed to still be laid up in bed.

She waits until she is certain that the wolf on patrol is Leah. She doesn't know Brady very well, and couldn't bear to look any of the male wolves in the eye right now anyway. Especially considering, as Edward pointed out, that this one is actually only a 13 year old boy.

Tonight she is ready to bribe Leah for information. She steps onto the back porch with a steaming mug. "I tried a different concoction tonight, Leah, do you want to try some?"

This mug has real dark chocolate that she melted on the stove, steamed milk, cinnamon, and just a little bit of chili powder. It's topped off with a generous dollop of whipped cream.

Leah emerges from the woods wearing a pale yellow sundress which is dusty from being wrapped around her ankle.

"You've lowered yourself to bribing me for information, huh, Swan?"

Bella blushes. Is she so transparent?

"Don't worry, it's working. That smells great. Have I got a story for you. I'd have told you anyway, but I'm not turning down anything that smells like that."

They step inside the kitchen, where Leah notices the smell of Italian food mixed in with the chocolate and adds, "You went all out, huh, Swan? How'd you know?"

"Edward. He wouldn't tell me, but he was acting really weird."

Bella pulls a pan of lasagna out of the oven and cuts a generous helping for Leah, who is sipping at her chocolate. "Weirder than normal, you mean. He was in your room for most of last night, by the way. There wasn't any desperate moaning of Jake's name to drive him away. Did you know he was there?"

Bella shakes her head. She really needs to figure out what to do about Edward and Jacob.  

"You sure you don't want me to make sure he stays away?" Leah asks.

 _Please do._ "Not until I know what I'm doing."

Leah rolls her eyes. "It's too late, Swan. Maybe if you could keep your trap shut while you sleep, that would still be an option."

Bella just shreds a napkin into little pieces.

"Explain something to me, Bella." Bella's head snaps up. She can't remember the last time Leah called her by her first name. "You seem to be choosing between two guys. What about all your other options? If I could get out of here..." she trails off, and actively decides not to wallow in self pity in front of Bella Swan.

Bella gives the only answer she has, inadequate though it may be. "Once I met Edward, he seemed... inevitable. He seemed like the only choice. I couldn't imagine life without him."

Leah, of all people, understands this. "But he's not the only choice for you. For that matter, neither is Jake." Leah has no need to drag out this part of the conversation. She has made her point, so she moves along.

"Today Brady said he was trying to shoot laser beams out of his eyes. Your fiancé, he isn't exactly subtle. What the hell were you thinking taking a couple vampires cake tasting, anyway? What pathetic excuses did they come up with for not trying any of the cake?" Leah is too perceptive for her own good. Bella doesn't reply, so Leah points at the chocolate and continues, "This is good. You should think about adding a little vanilla bean too. It would balance out the chili."

Bella looks at her, startled. Leah is right. Vanilla bean would be a great addition. "You figured all the wolves couldn't cook, huh? Well, I do possess other skills beyond super strength, fast healing, speed, and the ability to explode into a giant furball at a moment's notice."

Bella finally relaxes enough to laugh. Apparently Leah has decided on gentle teasing for tonight, and isn't planning on going for the jugular. "We can make more tonight, if you like, but I don't have any real vanilla bean on hand."

"No shit, the good stuff is expensive. Your lasagna, on the other hand, shouldn't be altered. I'm glad you put ground beef in here. I can't stand Italian sausage. Is the sauce homemade?"

Bella nods. "I'll use jarred if I have no choice; the organic store brand actually isn't bad in a pinch." She is startled to find that she is surprisingly comfortable with Leah Clearwater. Leah knows all her secrets, her most embarrassing truths, gives her grief about them, and moves on. And Leah is her best link to Jacob right now. "So what happened?"

Leah wipes sauce off her lip with a napkin. Thankfully she preserved her manners when she phased, unlike all her brothers. "It was amazing. Jake is becoming this lone wolf killing machine. It's totally stupid to be taking on vamps by himself, but he's doing it anyway. Last night he made it two for two. Your boy is seriously lacking in common sense, and somehow that paid off last night." There is grudging admiration in her tone.

Bella would usually get worried at this point, but the gleam in Leah's eye and the enthusiasm in her voice are too upbeat.

"So it happened right after I left your house last night. I went out to phase, and there's Jake, phased in, sitting calmly on this park bench, with this blonde bloodsucker approaching him at, like, warp speed. And he's just sitting there, not even looking at her. So she starts running her fingers up and down his arm and his neck, and she's just flirting with him shamelessly. The control it took, Bella, for him to just sit there and take it, let it touch him... Not another one of us could have done it."

Bella is stunned by the overload of information. But she's stuck on the vampire flirting with Jake. With her Jake. It's the least important thing she was told, but she can't stop thinking about it. "Why? Why didn't he phase? Wasn't he in danger?"

"Oh, yeah, plenty. She came right out and said that the vamp that Jake is tracking sent her to try to kill him. But that's why he kept it talking. He was trying to get information."

"Did he get anything useful?"

"Yeah. He found out the vampire Is female, obviously knows he's on her trail, has some way of evading him, and thinks she's not a match against Jake in a one-on-one fight."

Leah now wants to get Bella jealous. She's had enough of Bella pretending she doesn't want Jake. And she doesn't have to exaggerate at all. "And the way he got her in the end was priceless. She totally wanted him. Like, blatantly came onto him. So he let her think he was gonna take her for into the woods for a nice screw. He holds out his hand, pulls her into the woods, and she shoves him up against a tree and rips off his shirt." Leah pauses to study Bella, who has turned bright red, her pulse pounding. Leah smirks as she goes on. "Jake let it get pretty far, too. This gorgeous, statuesque blonde gets him totally naked, has her hands all over him. He leans in like he's going to kiss her neck," she pauses for dramatic effect.

Bella is horrified and livid and jealous all at once. _How dare some other woman put her hands on my Jacob? Bad enough that Leah gets to see him naked all the time. Now some awful bitchy vampire gets to see him naked before I do?_ She doesn't realize it, but all these thoughts are written across her face, plain as day.

Leah continues, "But instead of kissing her, he phases and rips out her throat."

Bella breathes out sharply. "Oh, thank god." They both realize she is thankful both for Jacob's safety, and for his preserved virtue as well. Suddenly, she feels like Edward Cullen, obsessing over her partner's purity. What right has she? She has only ever broken his heart and sent him away.

She is confused about one thing. "I thought you guys can't stand to be around one another? The scent, that is, and the overwhelming urge to kill each other."

"Well, she obviously didn't know what he was, just that he was a hot guy she was supposed to kill. The smell was bad to her, that much was clear, but she said she'd just hold her breath. And she implied that his unappealing blood would make it easier for her to avoid draining him long enough to have sex."

Bella wants to throw up. The thought of her innocent, sweet, sexy Jake in the hands of a monster and a sexual predator is devastating to her. And then it hits her. This is what he feels like each and every time she leaves him to return to Edward.

Leah watches her carefully. "Finally putting two and two together, huh, Swan?"

 _Bells and Jake equals perfect._ She doesn't know what to say to Leah, so she just expresses her relief. "It’s okay. So he’s okay. You didn't tell him about my dreams, did you?"

Leah barks out a laugh. "Quil beat me to it," she grins and let's Bella squirm about that for a minute. Leah had no idea a person could turn so red.

Bella squeaks out a quiet, "Oh, no."

Leah casually examines her fingernails. "Yeah, Jacob had a really interesting reaction." She watches Bella hide behind her hands and grins. "He inadvertently gave us a little show when he remembered a rather explicit memory of a dream he had."

The next five seconds feel like five hours to Bella.

"It was a very detailed dream about you. So detailed, in fact, that Quil was convinced it was a real memory." 

X-x-x-x-X

Jacob gets lucky with dry skies. Upon waking, he is disappointed that he didn't dream of Bella the night before, but is encouraged to have a new lead. He hasn't had enough sleep, not by a long shot, but he cannot afford to waste the day. He returns to the park and picks up the trail of the blonde vampire. If he gets lucky, he can trace it back to where it met the rogue vampire.

It takes him most of the afternoon to make his way out of the city. By nightfall he has made his way to a marina in North Vancouver. He finds a new trail right by the water's edge. His rogue must have crossed the inlet between Vancouver and North Vancouver. No wonder he hasn't been able to pick up the trail. It's been in the water. But it didn’t stay there.

By the time the moon is high in the sky, he is deep in the forest. At least he is able to explore as a wolf now. It’s certainly faster. Jared is running along the edge of the forest in LaPush, and is lost in thoughts of Kim. Leah is on patrol outside Bella’s house and, after when she notices Jacob appear in the pack mind, gives a hilarious account of Jake’s previous evening to Jared. He can only imagine how Quil is retelling the story. By the time he gets back, it will have degenerated into a full out orgy and murder. Then he sees Cullen climbing in Bella’s window through Leah’s eyes and quits paying attention. Leah is trying to tell him something, but he can’t look any more. He blocks them out. He is exhausted, and the despair at seeing the monster gaining access to Bella’s sleeping form is too much. He only slept for a couple hours in the morning, and he's ready to drop. He quenches his thirst in a fast-running stream, and curls up under on a bed of moss under a cherry tree.

X-x-x-x-X

_She approaches the little red house. The door is unmarked tonight. She tries the knob and it turns easily, but when she explores the house she finds it empty. But looking out the window of Jacob's room, she sees not their backyard and the forest of LaPush, but a stream skipping by. She goes outside and follows it as it winds through an unfamiliar forest._

_And there, beneath a cherry tree along the banks of the water, lies her wolf. He is deeply asleep. She doesn’t want to wake him. She has a vague memory of Leah Clearwater telling her of Jacob’s exploits. She struggles to remember. Leah explained to her why Jacob never came to her last night. He was protecting her. That much she knows. She feels a wave of possessiveness wash over her, but doesn’t know why._

_It doesn’t matter. They are together now. That’s all that matters. She lowers herself to the forest floor, leans into his large, warm body, and quickly falls asleep._

_Jacob stirs some hours later. The first thing he notices is something small and soft pressed up against him. The second thing he notices is the smell of home. Strawberries, vanilla, and his Bells. The third, the slow, steady drum of her heartbeat. He opens his eyes to see her wrapped into his fur. Mmmm. She’s really here._

_He has a very puppy-like urge to lick her face. But she’s so peaceful. Even if she thought it was funny, (which she probably wouldn’t, his Bells isn’t exactly a morning person) he can’t stand to wake her. She feels so right in his arms._

_But having her here makes him think about her, and thinking about her makes him think about her naked, and thinking about her naked makes him really, really want to wake her up. The wolf in him, in particular, really, really wants to wake her up._

_The wolf hasn’t been this close to Bella in a long time. Jacob the man has loved her for nearly his whole life, and has learned to be patient. The wolf has learned to love her as well, and has no idea how to wait. Jacob the man has wanted her since he knew how to want such things, and has learned how to push aside those feelings for her comfort. The wolf has never experienced lust before Bella, and the sensation is overwhelming and new. Jacob the man has had to share her with another. The wolf wants her as his, and his alone. Jacob the man knows that he fits perfectly inside Bella the woman. The wolf wants that. Right now. And unlike Jacob the man, who has supreme control and can suppress his desires in favor of her own, the wolf has no idea how to control his desires._

_He starts by sliding gently out from underneath her. She doesn’t stir. The wolf moves to stand over her protectively, paws on either side of her. He lowers his muzzle to her hair, and inhales deeply. The scent of her arouses him. He moves slowly down her body, sniffing at her face, her neck, her arms, her breasts. She starts to stir when he reaches her middle, and his snout starts to push her shirt upward, exposing her flat, smooth belly. The man wants. The wolf wants._

_Bella wakes to find her huge, russet wolf bent over her, his snout pressing against her pelvic bone, his hot breath washing over her lower body. His eyes are nearly glowing, his body tense. She recognizes the look in his eye for what it is, and it instantly arouses her._

_The heady rush of the new musk in her scent nearly undoes the wolf. Jacob the man fights to take over, and suddenly the body hovering over her is that of her beloved, human Jake. He’s still gazing at her with the exact same, intense expression in his eyes. He’s trembling. She knows it isn’t because he is cold._

_Without preamble, he rips open her shirt. She hears a barely audible, “Mine,” and he dives down to attack her breasts. “Yours,” she replies on a sigh. He has one nipple pinched tightly between two fingers, is rolling it back and forth, and has sucked the other one deep into his mouth. She wonders if it will leave a bruise. She loves it, and buries her fingers in his hair. She knows she loves it when she pulls and tugs, so she does so, and he growls. Seconds later, he switches from using his lips to using his teeth. He is almost chewing on her nipple, and is flicking his tongue rapidly over the hard peak. It has only been a minute, and she is nearly ready to come._

_He pulls up, panting heavily, and shoves her pants down in one movement, tossing them aside. And then he is between her legs. For just one moment, he is eyeing her hungrily._

_“Sweet, pretty pussy.” He inhales, and closes his eyes._

_“My pussy,” he growls, and as she feels his hot tongue thrust deep inside her, she replies in a moan, ”Yours.”_

_Again, for less than a minute, he works her with his tongue, and she nearly comes apart before he crawls up her body. He still hasn’t kissed her, and he buries his face in her neck. “Mine,” he growls again._

_“Yours,” she whispers back, feeling his teeth lightly working her clavicle, not hard enough to leave a mark. The sensation is wildly erotic, and she bucks up beneath him. He is hot and hard, and is rubbing against her leg._

_His voice his a harsh vibration against her skin. “Bella, I can’t wait tonight. The wolf, he’s so close to the surface. He wants to take you. He needs to have you. I don’t know if I can control him.”_

_“So don’t,” she replies as she strokes her fingers up and down his back._

_He swallows hard, and positions himself against her entrance. She wants him. Badly. She spreads her thighs and wraps her arms around his neck. Jacob is shaking against her. The wolf has almost taken over. Jacob the man can barely hold on. His voice is shaking. “I don’t think you know what you’re agreeing to, Bella. I’m not just gonna fuck you. I’m not just gonna fuck you hard. I’m gonna take you in every position I can think of. I’m gonna do whatever I want with you. Do whatever I want to your body. Again and again. And then I’m going to mark you. I’m going to make you mine.” It takes every ounce of willpower he has not to slam into her right now._

_Now she’s nervous. And very, very aroused. “Mark me?” Her voice is small._

_He is sweating with the effort to keep the wolf inside, keep from pounding her into the ground beneath him._

_“With my teeth, Bella. Leave a mark, a permanent one. I’m going to claim you as mine.”_

_Oh. She doesn’t know what to say. Just that she wants this. More than she has ever wanted anything. So she reaches down to grasp his buttocks, tugs toward her, looks him straight in the eye, and says, “I’m already yours.”_

_“Then hold on.” He grits out the words and he slams into her. The first thrust is hard, fast, and all the way in. And unlike every other time, he doesn’t pause to let her adjust. He fucks her, and she screams. He is huge, and hot, and hard, and she burns. The sweetest burn. He holds her hips still in his large, strong hands, and she braces her feet against the forest floor for leverage, tilting her pelvis up to meet him. It’s the most intense pleasure she has ever felt. His deep thrusting bumps his pubic bone against her clitoris each time their bodies meet, and his cock fills her completely. It takes no time at all for her to have her first orgasm. “Mine!” He grunts as he feels her walls contract around him._

_She’s flying apart around him, chanting his name, when he pulls out and flips her over onto her hands and knees. In no time at all, not long enough for her to stop coming, he’s back inside her, and his wolf is howling with satisfaction. There is no better moment to enter her body, than when she is already coming. Her muscles are milking and squeezing him in the tightest, wettest vice he could ever hope to enter. They have only been at this a few minutes, and she can’t come down from her high. He won’t slow down enough to let her. He has his thrusts tipped downward, and he pulls out nearly all the way each time, so that his head pushes against her to massage her most sensitive area of her front walls each time. The movement makes her crazy. She is crying and moaning and arching her back in pleasure, her head thrown back, baring her long neck. He stares down at his long, thick cock pistoning in her cunt, dripping in her fluids, his dark hands tightly gripping the luminous skin of buttocks just below her hips and lovely, narrow waist, and he burns the image in his mind. He thinks about tasting her, tasting them together, and it makes him come, shooting long and hard into her. “Mine!” he roars again._

_Once he is done, he pushes her onto her back. He is still hard, and not done by a long shot. His wolf needs to taste. So he uses his hands to push open her legs, and lowers his head. The scent of her mixed with the scent of him is exactly what his wolf needs. He laps greedily at her, first dipping his long tongue into her to soothe her aching walls, and then to circle her clitoris until she’s writhing and bucking beneath him. He sucks her nub between his soft lips, and relishes the taste of another rush of her arousal as she comes against his tongue._

_He sits back on his heels and pulls her up onto his lap. He licks her lips, sharing the taste of them on her tongue. He grasps the base of his length with one hand, and with the other hand guides her to sink down on him. As she whimpers with the fullness of him, he whispers, “Mine,” against her mouth. She nods and bites her lip, and as soon as she lets go of it, he draws the plump lip into his own mouth and bites down gently. Then he has to let go of her mouth, since his wolf cannot stand any gentle rocking tonight. The wolf needs more. So he lifts her up by her buttocks, and slams her hard back down. She screams again. He repeats the motion again and again, and he lifts his hips to meet her. She’s weak in his embrace, can barely hold the position, but he doesn’t mind. He has strength enough for both of them. He is in control tonight, and she is pliable in his arms. Just the way his wolf wants it._

_And she loves it. She loves the way he is taking control, putting her body where he wants it and doing with it what he will. She had gotten used to him taking his time, preparing her gently and sensually with lips, tongue, and hand, before finally, finally slipping slowly inside her. Even the torture he inflicted on her a few nights ago, as she begged him to take her, and he kept turning her aside with his sweet, husky voice saying, “Not yet, baby.” That torture was designed purely for her pleasure. And it was wonderful. Jacob dominated her, and she loved it._

_But this, this is another thing entirely. This is the first time she has been with Jacob’s wolf, and not Jacob alone. This is primal and feral. This is dominance of another form. An animal form. It is pure passion and need unleashed entirely on her. It is every bit as good as being dominated by Jacob the man._

_So she gives in gladly. Lets him fuck her however he wants. In whatever position he wants. As quickly or as slowly as he wants. As many times as he wants. And she will come, each and every time. She doesn’t know she’s spoken aloud until he grunts, “Because... unhhh... you’re... mmmph... Mine!.... unhhh.” The next time he brings her down on him, he rotates her hips against him to stimulate her clitoris against the base of his cock, and she comes again._

_But Jacob does not. When he pulls out of her, after her spasms have finally settled, he is still throbbing and aching. He stands and spreads his feet out for stability. He pulls her to her knees in front of him. Ohhhh. She loved this when he did it a few nights ago. So did he. This time he won’t let her stop until he’s coming down her throat. He fists her hair with both hands and draws her toward him. “You know what to do,” he whispers, “because you’re mine.” She grasps him firmly with her right hand, and strokes his balls with her left. The grip she has on his base is harder than she has ever used before, and he purrs his happiness deep in his chest. He drags her mouth onto him with his hands in her hair, and she moans around him. He first allows her shallow, bobbing movements, centered over his sensitive head. She swirls her tongue around the crown, laving the dip in the center where he is most sensitive. She strokes her hand in rhythm. She can taste his distinctive salty flavor and her own musky, sweeter one. She wants more. So does he. So far he hasn’t thrust into her mouth at all, but she doesn’t think he can hold back much longer. His hands are still tight in her hair, but he is holding otherwise still. Jacob the man has control over Jacob the wolf by the thinnest of threads. So she relaxes her jaw, suppresses her gag reflex, and bobs a little further. He lets out a guttural moan, and after another minute of that, he grits out between clenched teeth, “Are you... unhhh... ready... aaahh... to take... unhhh... more?” She whimpers her assent around his cock, and he begins to thrust, shallowly, into her throat. He’s humming continuously now, punctuated by coarse murmurs of, “Fuck... yeah... mine... yeah... take it... mmmm... all the way... mmmm... fuck...” He picks up speed, and goes a little deeper every time, and just when she thinks she can’t take any more, he stiffens, throws his head back, holds her still, and comes hard into her mouth and throat, with another roar of “Mine!”_

_After long minutes, he returns to himself, and looks down at her, directly in her eyes. His eyes are glowing. He is still hard. She licks her lips, and tastes him on them. The wolf has control of his words. With a firm voice, he states, “You can take more. You can take it again.” His wolf relishes how she looks up at him, naked, on her knees in front of him, with wide, trusting eyes, and she slowly nods. She isn’t lying to please him. It’s the truth. He pushes her onto her back kneels between her legs, and lifts her legs up so her ankles are over his shoulders. He slides down to line up the head of his cock with her entrance. “You want it. You want me to fuck you. Again.” She nods again. This is also the truth. “You’re mine.” She shudders with a wave of desire. She’s wet and ready._

_So he slams into her, firmly and in one stroke. He bends her nearly in half, and the position allows him to get incredibly deep. Each time he pulls out he growls, “You’re mine.” And each time he slams in, she cries, “Yes!” or “Jake!” or “Yours!” The wolf is ecstatic. The wolf loves being inside her. The wolf loves how tight she is, how hot she is, how wet she is. The wolf loves the sounds of her cries, the blissful expression on her face, the jiggling of her breasts beneath him each time he pounds in. The wolf loves the pink flush of her skin, and sweat beading between her breasts, the scent of her desire. The wolf loves fucking her. So does the man._

_The wolf and the man love making her come. So starting with the next thust, he licks his thumb and forefinger and rubs in gentle circles around her clitoris, never breaking his rhythm, and she comes again, clutching at his arms with her nails and drawing blood, shaking and crying, and splintering apart with happiness. He reduces his thrusts to make them shallower and more tolerable for her oversensitive body, and when she has come back to earth, he says in his deep, husky voice, “One more time, and you really will be mine.”_

_She lowers her legs to wrap around his waist, and pulls him down for a deep, sensual kiss. As they break away, she whispers, “Yes. Always yours.”_

_So he backs off her and pulls her to her feet. He takes her hand and turns her to face the cherry tree they were sleeping under. He leads her to step up onto a step formed by a root coming out of the ground, and stands behind her. They are a bit closer in height with her on the natural step, and he stands behind her, pushing her hair over her shoulder, and exposing her neck. He runs his nose back and forth from her shoulder to her neck, licking along the way. The wolf is gathering the taste of her and deciding where to leave his mark. The action sends tingles of pleasure shooting from his tongue to her core._

_“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers. She wasn’t expecting tender words right now. He licks at the sensitive spot behind her ear. He continues, “You’re so strong.” She is starting to tear up from the weight of his love. “You’re so lovely and giving.” He has shifted his hands to her front and is tracing light, delicate circles around her nipples, making them ache. “You’ve always been the one.” A tear slips down her cheek. His left hand remains at her nipple, and her left slides down to circle her clitoris gently. “You’ll always be the one.” He shifts his left hand to her shoulder, and bends her at the waist. She grips the tree in front of her. His voice is a bare whisper. “I promise. I’m yours forever.” He slips into her, and she has never felt so fulfilled in all her life._

_They both moan with the pleasure of it. After the first gentle thrust, he grows more insistent. He pulls out nearly all the way, so that each time he slams back in, he causes the most friction possible. She’s whimpering continuously, and tears of joy are slipping down her cheeks. The angle is just right, and every time he slides in and out, he hits that... something... that she still can’t identify, that makes her whole body throb. That, plus the finger of his right hand pressed to her clitoris, while his huge cock slams into her cervix, ignites in her three separate and distinct forms of pleasure that converge and overwhelm her. She can barely stay upright. Can barely remember her own name. His name, a continuous mantra falling from her lips. All she knows is Jacob. All she feels is Jacob. All she wants, ever will want, is Jacob._

_And Jacob himself. Jacob the man is home, buried in his beloved’s body. Jacob the wolf has found his mate. Here, in this place, everything is right in Jacob’s world. Through the pleasure, the ache, the throb, the warmth, the ecstasy, he finds peace. He finds contentment. Her finds her. So when he can tell that she’s close, that she’s right on the edge again, he curls over her body, and gently, firmly sinks his teeth into the tender skin of her left shoulder._

_Bella cries out her pleasure. There is no pain, but pure ecstasy, riding in waves that consume her whole body, her whole being. It is endless. It is a sensation unlike any other. Being claimed by him, she is finally free. And as she is overwhelmed, is consumed and reborn, Jacob comes and comes within her. He releases her shoulder and licks at the mark with his tongue, and comes and comes. The man weeps with joy. The wolf howls with victory._

_They fall bonelessly to the forest floor, and they sleep wrapped in each other._


	17. Chapter 17

X-x-x-x-X

Monday

X-x-x-x-X

Bella is surprised to wake up in bed rather on the forest floor. There is a delicious ache throughout her body. It is strongest in one spot. The back of her left shoulder. She wishes Jacob was really here to massage the spot with his tongue. She traces it with her finger. The skin tingles. It is extremely sensitive,  but the skin is smooth and unblemished. She is somehow surprised and disappointed.

She showers, and every time she runs her washcloth over the spot, it sends a jolt between her legs. It is terribly distracting. She can't focus on anything else. She eventually gives in and lowers the shower-head, switches it to the pulse setting, and remembers Jacob slamming into her until she comes. She is almost late for work.

All day long she is flustered and distracted. She makes simple and uncharacteristic mistakes, mislabeling an entire crate of power bars as selling for $15 each, and stocking the women's new hiking boots in the youth section. Mike even asks her what's going on. _I think my engagement is over because I've fallen in love with a figment of my imagination._

"Sorry, Mike, I slept really poorly last night." _I had the best night of my life, except it didn't actually happen._

"Did you fight with Cullen or something?"

"No, why?" _But if he was in my room last night, he is probably pretty pissed today. I should have let Leah keep him out like she offered._

"Because he's been staring through the front display window for, like, half an hour. He’s across the street, but it's creepy. Why doesn't he just come in? He may as well have his face pressed up against the glass. He knows I've seen him, and he didn't think I wasn't going to say anything to you, did he?"

 _Oh god. Why is he here?_ She isn't ready to face him yet. She has no idea what she's going to say. Just as she is about to ask to go on her break so she can go face him, she spies Alice through the glass, tugging Edward away. He looks positively haunted. She fumbles through the rest of her shift, tries not to make any more stupid mistakes and fails. Edward must be in a bad way if he’s showing this kind of desperation in front of the likes of Mike Newton. He has to have heard every thought running through Mike’s head, and they’re probably not very flattering. Then again, Edward never really saw Mike Newton as a threat to him. There is only one man standing between them, but he is actually miles away.

When she leaves work, she is startled to find Rosalie waiting by her car, peering in the window. “This is a serious junker, Bella, although I suppose it has a sort of charm. I remember that it was a pretty nice car, back in its day. You should upgrade to something safer, though. Let Edward get it for you. Get something good out of the deal. A girl like you needs airbags. And anti-lock breaks. And rollover protection.” She pauses. “Let Edward buy you a tank.”

 Then a breeze blows by, drawing Bella’s scent over Rosalie. Rosalie looks at her with wide eyes. “Oh my god, no wonder he’s been a drama queen all morning! You finally did it! I can’t say I disagree with your decision, but I thought you’d, you know, dump him first. But cheers to you. Wait, did you dump him today?”

Bella gawks at Rosalie. “No. What are you talking about? I don’t mean to be rude, but why are you here?”

“Alice sent me. She’s trying to keep him under control, and sent me to make sure that you’re okay. Oh, Bella. The scent is faint, but it’s so distinct. Did you really think we wouldn’t figure it out?”

She is so perplexed. “Figure what out?”

Now Rosalie just looks frustrated. “There’s no point in being coy with me, Bella. I’m on your side, remember?”

She protests, “I’m not hiding anything. I saw Edward here in the morning, glaring in through the window from across the street. He kind of scared Mike. But he didn’t come in. Alice came and pulled him away before I got a chance to go talk to him.”

“Wait, so you didn’t talk to him?”

“No.”

“Did he get close to you?”

“No, not unless he was in my room before I woke up.”

“Well, he came home smelling like you, so he probably was. But it was early. Probably not even even 1 am yet.”

She feels crushing weight on her chest. How much did he hear? Hopefully he left as soon as it started. By Rosalie’s accounting, he probably missed the worst ( _best_ ) parts.

“Well, then, I’m not sure why he’s freaking out so much. But I should tell you that you smell like wet dog. Not strongly, not like you just rolled around with one. I thought you, um, just took a thorough shower after, but obviously that’s not it.” She pauses. “Is it?”

“No! It’s not even possible! Jake’s in Canada.”

Rosalie smirks. “But the rest of them are still here, right?”

“Rose! Emmett’s rubbing off on you too much! No! I had dinner with Leah last night, though.”

Rosalie looks skeptical. “It’s not quite the same as when you just spend time with them. You smell just awful after that. Although it was last night. But this is different. This is like... This is like you’re not quite you.”

She slowly approaches Bella, walks around her, examines her carefully. If it was any vampire other than a Cullen, Bella would be terrified. If it were Edward, right now, Bella would be terrified. She is just a little terrified.

Rosalie picks up her hand, presses her nose to the scar James left behind. “This is still the same. Still cold and wrong.”

Bella cracks out a hoarse reply, “I think it’ll always be that way.”

“Hopefully it’s the only spot that goes cold and wrong.” Rosalie drops her hand and moves to stand behind her. “Do you mind?”

Bella doesn’t know what she’s being asked, but complies anyway. “Okay,” she says in a small voice.

Rosalie presses her cold nose to Bella’s neck. Bella shivers. Rosalie tugs down the edge of her collar. “Oh my god,” she whispers. She’s lightly running her finger over Bella’s sensitive left shoulder. It sends delicious pulses down Bella’s spine. “When did this happen, Bella? How did you keep it from us for so long? I had no idea you were such a good actress.”

Bella pulls away to face her. “Honest, Rose. I’m not hiding anything. Tell me what you see. What is it?”

Rosalie’s eyes are gleaming. “You have a mark, Bella. But the skin is smooth. It’s almost invisible. A human probably couldn’t even see it. But it’s there.”

“A mark?” Bella is frightened, elated at the possible answer.

“A mark, Bella. Teeth. A human bite mark.” Bella sways on her feet. “That’s where the scent is coming from. It’s faint, but it smells just like your dog.” Bella’s knees buckle from beneath her, but Rosalie keeps her from falling.

Bella’s voice cracks. “It was just a dream, Rose. I had a dream.”

Rosalie is chuckling now as she supports Bella in her lap. “Some dream.”

When Mike Newton comes out of the store looking frantic, Rosalie waves him off. “She just didn’t eat enough at lunch. Did you, Bella?”

Bella nods, dazed.

Rosalie continues, “I’m going to make sure she gets home okay. Thanks for checking on us.”

Mike is in awe. It’s the most that Rosalie Cullen has ever spoken to him. Usually he feels invisible, or like a bug on the bottom of her shoe. “Sure, yeah. Bella, why don’t you take tomorrow off?”

“No, no. I’m fine. I just need to eat something. See you tomorrow, Mike.”

Rosalie helps her into the passenger seat, then climbs into the driver’s seat and shifts into gear. “Where to?”

“Just home.”

“Not LaPush?”

“He’s not there.”

Rosalie nods and stays quiet until they get to the house. She follows Bella inside. Bella takes a long drink of water from the tap, and turns back to Rosalie.

“The mark is new, Rose. It just happened last night. While I was sleeping.”

Rosalie arches one eyebrow at her. “What is it, exactly?”

Bella recalls Jacob growling, “Mine”, over and over as he slammed into her body. She shakes her head. “I don’t really know. I think, um, I think it’s a way for a wolf to mark its mate. But I haven’t seen Jake since he left town.”

“Well, if he had come back while Edward was still here, and crawled into your window to do that while you were sleeping, one or both of them would be dead right now.”

Bella has a sudden moment of panic. She has no way of knowing if Jake is okay. But Rosalie continues. “But like I said, Edward was home early. And he was being, is being, a melodramatic drama queen, but it would be much, much worse if he had gotten into a fight with your dog.”

“Jacob, Rosalie.”

She rolls her eyes. “Fine, Jacob. Whatever. But the whole pack would have descended on us already. It would be all out war. Instead, it’s just Edward, being broodier and moodier than normal.”

“Do you think he knows about the mark?”

Rosalie shakes her head. “Not if it happened after he came home. And I had to get pretty close to you to find it. It’s subtle. And it’s under your shirt, so he can’t see it. None of us have X-ray vision, after all.”

“So it’s probably something else.”

“Well, it’s probably related. The timing is just too much of a coincidence.”

Bella understands. “Alice’s visions.”

Rosalie nods. “Mmhm. You already know they’ve been flickering in and out for days.”

“Ever since my dreams began.”

Rosalie reaches out to pat her hand. It’s the gentlest she has ever been with Bella. “It’ll be fine, Bella. You’ll be fine. Now I’m sure of it.” She leaves with a small smile on her face.

Bella needs to talk to someone. She needs help figuring out what’s going on. She wants to talk to Jacob, but he’s not even in the country. Whom can she ask? Sam? Billy? She can just imagine the horror of such a conversation. She wants to talk to Leah, but Leah is probably sleeping right now. She can wait a few hours until Leah shows up.

So she waits at her house, her stomach in knots, pacing back and forth, chewing her nails down to nubs. She cooks chicken marsala for dinner, distracted the whole time, and completely forgets to stir the pasta, which comes out in sticky clumps when she drains it. Charlie eats it politely and doesn’t say anything about the fact that it’s not up to her usual standard. He does, however, ask her if she has any idea what’s going on with Jacob.

She freezes. “Huh?”

“You know I was there all night long. I’m not sure he was home at all, Bells. Granted, I fell asleep on the couch before the end of the second game. Good thing, too. Apparently after our pitching game fell apart midway through the fourth inning, we never recovered. It’s just as well that I slept through the humiliation.”

“Oh, sorry, dad.” She does a poor job feigning interest in baseball on a good day.

“But what’s up with Jacob?”

She tells the truth. “I have no idea. I haven’t talked to him on the phone. I haven’t been there in forever, you know that.”

He frowns at her. They both know he thinks less of her for abandoning the boy who showed her how to be happy again after Edward left her. “It doesn’t add up, Bells. At first I thought he was just asleep in his room. But unless he’s completely unconscious, there’s no way that kid would ever miss a meal. So when he didn’t come out for food, I asked Billy if we should bring him a plate, he just said, ‘No point.’ Then he distracted me, purposefully, with beer. Every time I asked about Jacob, Billy distracted me. He’d ask me to reach for something on a high shelf or something. Stuff that he didn’t even need. Eventually, when I flat out asked him what was going on, he just said, ‘Boy can take care of himself, Charlie. We’ll see him when he’s ready to be seen.’”

“Billy’s probably right.”

“He’s an injured teenaged boy! He isn’t supposed to have to fend for himself! Was he just avoiding me, Bella? Was he avoiding me so he could avoid hearing anything about you?”

She looks at the table. It’s as good an explanation as any.

Charlie sighs and clears the table. Bella thinks she hears something like, “Girls are cruel,” as he walks away.

A couple hours later, she opens the door to the back porch with another mug of chocolate in her hands. She doesn’t even have to ask for Leah this time. Leah just comes sauntering out of the woods.

“You keep this up, Swan, and you could have the whole pack waiting in your backyard every night. It’ll be great. Charlie will love having giant wolves and naked boys tromping through his house.”

Bella hands over the chocolate. “Sorry, I didn’t have a chance to get any vanilla.”

“Don’t sweat it. It’s still really good.” She sits at the table and relaxes into the chair. Bella places a plate of pasta and chicken in front of her. Leah takes a bite, and glances up at Bella. “It could use a little something. Do you mind?”

Bella shakes her head, so Leah roots through her kitchen, gathering garlic powder, salt, and a lemon. Bella slaps herself mentally. She forgot three basic ingredients. Leah actually has to cut the pasta apart, the strands are so stuck together.

Leah glances up at her as she seasons her plate. “Did Dream Jacob screw your brains out last night, Swan? This isn’t quite up to your usual standard. Not that I’m complaining, mind you. It’s fixable.” She squeezes more lemon juice onto her plate.

“Actually, Leah...” Bella trails off. Now that Leah is here, she has no idea how to begin.

Leah laughs out loud, “Oh my god, he totally did, didn’t he. I mean, why am I asking? I heard your end of it. I’m almost jealous. It’s a damn good thing Charlie wasn’t home, huh, Swan?” She pauses to chew and swallow, and points her fork at Bella. “And Sparkles didn’t stay for long. At the first, ‘Yours, Jacob, I’m yours’,” Leah pitches her voice absurdly high, “he went flying out the window. It was hilarious. I’m almost glad you haven’t let me rip him up yet. I like watching him get humiliated almost as much as I’d enjoy tearing his throat out.”

“Did you talk to him last night, Leah?”

“Yeah, but not for long.” She sobers. “He blocked us out once he saw your leech crawling in your window. He’s pretty good at it from that distance. ”

“Is he okay?”

“Uh huh, at least as of last night. Why?”

Bella takes a deep breath, and tears up another napkin to tiny shreds. “Something happened last night.”

“No kidding. Like I said, I heard. Do you have, like, some spare rags I can stuff in my ears? They don’t make earplugs big enough for giant wolves. Or maybe you can find me a great big spoon I can use to gouge out my mind’s eye.” She pauses and looks toward the kitchen door, and for a second Bella is afraid Edward will walk in. But instead it’s Charlie.

He is as surprised that Leah Clearwater is sitting in his kitchen, dressed in a dirty sundress, eating a giant plate of poorly-made leftovers, as he would be if he found Old Quil sitting there with Bella.

“Evening, Chief Swan. How are you?” Leah says politely.

“Good, good. And it's Charlie at home. Are you girls... hanging out tonight?” he asks with a puzzled tone. Bella has never been friends with Leah Clearwater. Not when they were little girls playing on the rez, not when Bella spent her summers visiting from Phoenix, and definitely not after she broke Jacob Black’s heart.

“Not exactly. Sue sent me over to give Bella the name of my gynecologist. You know, in preparation for the...” she waves her fork in the air.

“Oh, sure, yeah." Charlie turns bright red. He suspects, and they know, that this is a blatant lie. But it stops him from asking any further questions. “Well, you girls have a good night. I’m gonna head on up.” He flees.

Leah snickers and turns back to Bella, who is hiding her face in her hands again. “My god. That was so easy. I wish my mom were so gullible. Well, I doubt he’s actually that gullible. Willfully ignorant, let’s say. You can get away with anything, Swan.” She pauses and eats her last bite. “Actually, that explains a lot. You’ve already as well as gotten away with murder. Anyway, you were saying?” She sits back and folds her hands in her lap.

Bella is still bright red. She’s about to get redder. She coughs. “Something happened in my sleep last night, Leah. It’s easier if I just show you.” She turns around and pulls her hair aside, and tugs her collar down. She runs her finger over the spot. “Can you see it?”

Leah bends close enough that Bella can feel her breath on the mark. It tingles with the light contact. Her voice is low. “My god, Swan. Is that what I think it is?”

Bella turns around. “You tell me.”

"It's clearly Jacob's. What happened?”

Bella coughs again and takes a deep breath. “I was asleep, having one of those vivid, crazy dreams. Just like you heard.” Leah nods, her eyes wide. “It was different than the others. Jake said... Jake said his wolf wanted to claim me. Wanted to mark me as his.” Leah’s mouth has fallen open a little. “So in the dream he did. And when I woke up, well...” She gestures to her shoulder.

"Do you know what that means, Bella?"

"I was hoping you could tell me."

 Leah rubs the back of her neck with her hand. It reminds Bella is Jacob's own nervous habit. "Well, I have no idea what it means that it happened while you were asleep and he was out of the country. I've never heard of anything like that before. But normally, it's a sign that a wolf has chosen its mate. It's a sign to other wolves that you're taken. Sam did that to Emily after they got engaged. Jared hasn't marked Kim yet, although it's just a matter of time."

"Because they're imprinted," she whispers, "But Jake never imprinted on me."

"Right. About that. I don't think it was ever common, but you remember the story of the Third Wife?"

"Sure, I remember."

"Well, the stories don't tell us anything about the first and second wives, but it's not clear whether they died before he married the third one." Leah considers making a joke about Bella being the founding member of Jacob's harem, sees the look of devastation on Bella's face, and kindly keeps her mouth shut.

"Look, Bella, I'm not going to tell you it's forever. Contrary to what your bloodsucker has told you, nothing is meant to last forever. But Jake loves you. Like, obsesses over you. Wants to marry you and give you all his babies. I've been in his brain, remember? It’s pathetic. He doesn’t even have normal crushes on other girls. And trust me. Other girls have crushes on him."

Bella is having trouble holding back her tears. She can't decide if she's happy or sad, and realizes she is both.

"Okay, the estrogen level in here is a little high. I'm going to go. I'll ask my mom about the dreams."

Bella looks horrified until Leah rolls her eyes and says, "For god's sake, Swan, just the mark, not the lead up. I'd love to forget about the rest of it, trust me."

Bella heaves a sigh of relief. "Thanks."

Leah pauses in the back door. "I'm probably going to talk to him tonight, Bella."

Bella nods. "Can you tell him..." _I love him, I miss him, and I want him to come home._ "Tell him that I miss him and I want him to come home."

Leah smiles a genuine, sarcasm-free smile. "Sure. Night, Swan." 

X-x-x-x-X

Monday

X-x-x-x-X

Jacob open his eyes and looks up into the green leaves of a tree. Sometime during the night, he phased back to human, so he's lying buck naked on the forest floor. Good thing the only ones around to catch the show were the squirrels and rabbits.

He heaves a sigh of disappointment at waking alone, again. How badly he wishes last night was real. Bella had accepted him at his wildest, at his most feral. Not just accepted it. Loved it. Relished it. It turned her on. If only he could convince the real Bella to give him a chance. He loves her. His wolf loves her. He has always known that his Bells is the only girl for him. Now his wolf knows it too.

He dunks himself in the freezing stream to get clean, and as soon as he is dry he phases to pick up the trail again.

There is only one wolf phased, and is patrolling LaPush, which means that whomever is on Bella duty is probably human right now. She is probably at work, where there is no good place for a wolf to watch out for her. He speaks briefly with Sam.

_How is everything at home?_

_Uneventful, for now. Having any luck?_

_I'm following a lead. I was able to pick up the trail again. It's going northwest. How's my dad?_

_Okay. No big issues. He just misses you._

_I miss him too._

_When will you be back?_

_When this is done, or when you need me._

_Okay, Jacob. Stay safe._

He tunes out, and keeps running. The trail keeps along the stream. It's just a little hard to follow, since the leech apparently spends a lot of time in the river itself in order to throw Jake off its tail, but the river isn't big enough for that method to entirely work. He has to slow down by mid afternoon, when the trail breaks off. The vampire apparently wised up and took to the trees, this time turning due west. Searching the trees is harder and slower, but he can climb them too, as a man, and his persistence pays off. He doesn't lose the trail.

By nightfall, the trail has returned to the ground again. He can follow again as a wolf. There was a forest fire here, and the burnt out husks of trees are not suitable for climbing, let alone jumping from tree to tree. He faintly notices Brady, bored in the woods outside Bella's house, when he sees Leah walk up to Brady in human form. Brady runs home and phases out, leaving Jacob blind to whatever events are transpiring at the Swan residence. Sam is waiting for Embry to phase in, and he ignores Sam as well. He concentrates on his prey, and runs harder.

He can smell saltwater ahead of him when Leah phases back in. He barely notices until she tries to get his attention. Embry is quiet, and just listens.

_Jake, I need to talk to you._

He almost breaks his stride. _Is Bella okay?_

_Yeah, yeah. She’s fine. But it’s about her. Something you really need to know._

_What? What is it?_

_You know how I told you she’s dreaming about you. Like, every night? And you showed us you’re dreaming of her too?_

Jacob has actually been trying very hard not to think about that. He dreams of her, and she dreams of him. He loves her with his whole heart. She has admitted her love for him. But she is still marrying another man. A man who continues to climb into her bedroom window every night. If his heart, his deeds, and his words haven’t changed that, he fails to see how erotic dreams are going to make a difference.

_Yeah. It’s nothing. It means nothing._

_No, Jacob. It means something. Last night, something happened. Just watch._

And she replays her conversation with Bella from start to finish.

Jacob doesn’t notice that he has stopped running altogether. _My mark. That’s my mark?_

Embry is too stunned to joint coherently into the conversation.

_It sure as hell wasn’t the bloodsucker’s. Aside from the fact that she’d be dead, or turning, he was out the window around the time she started moaning your name. She said it was you, Jacob. And the scent. The scent was yours._

He is stupefied. The other dreams, him having dreams about her while she is having dreams about him, they could all just be a coincidence. He’s in love with her, there’s nothing strange about dreaming about making love to her. And even though she’s with the leech, she has already admitted, more than once, that she is in love with him as well. So it isn’t much of a stretch to think that she might dream of him as well.

But this.

This is something else altogether.

And then Leah replays Bella’s words to him. _Tell him that I miss him and I want him to come home._

Embry finally chimes in. _Jake, get the hell back here. This is your chance. This is it._

Jacob is turning to do just that when a figure drops out of nowhere into his line of vision. A tall, pale, otherworldly creature. A male vampire, with malice in his deep red eyes. There is something off about it.

_Jake, man, is that who I think it is?_

_I thought I was tracking a female. The blonde told me before I ripped her to shreds._

_So she was lying._

_There’s something off about it, guys, help me figure out what it is._

The vampire is smirking at him, and before he can figure out what’s off about the monster, it darts away through the trees. He follows. His legs pump beneath him. He has been running all day, but he has a new burst of energy. It is time to end this. And then it hits him. Why did it just show itself? It has evaded him for days. It keeps to the water, jumps from tree to tree to keep it from finding him. Is it leading him into a trap? He has just run in a wide semicircle, and is headed back the way he came. He’s running east. This feels too much like the chase that led him up here in the first place. Chasing a dead, phantom Victoria that he never caught. Who had no scent. This vampire, too, has no scent at all. It is only feet from him. His nose should be burning. He stops in his tracks, kicking up dirt in front of him. Embry is screaming.

_It’s getting away! What are you doing! It’s getting away!_

The monster stops and looks at him. Taunting him to come closer, staying barely out of reach.

He turns in the opposite direction. Sprints toward the bay. Back toward the acrid stench he has been following for days.

_Jake, Jake, what are you doing? It’s right there! You can’t turn your back to it!_

_It’s a trick. Or a trap. I won’t fall for it this time!_

He picks up speed, and minutes later he breaks through the treeline onto a rocky beach. And for a moment, just a millisecond, he catches sight of dark hair plastered against a small, pale face, sparkling brighter than the moon upon the waves. It disappears.

Jacob howls his frustration. That was it. That was the one he has been tracking for days. Its scent leads directly into the water.

He is so close, but there is nothing he can do. He could wait here on the beach for eternity. It wouldn't matter. The vampire can outwait him. He has no way of knowing if it will go north, south, or across the bay to one of the neighboring islands. He should head home, and hope he gets there before it gets to Bella. At least she is protected for now. His brothers and Leah have been watching closely over her since he has been gone. He hates that she is unwittingly acting as bait again, but at least he knows the rogue's ultimate destination. It wants his Bella.

His Bella. Now, at least on some level, she really is his Bella. His Bella who wants him to come home. He hears Leah in the background.

_It’s complicated, Jake. You know that better than I do. But she hasn’t really spent time with him in days._

_But he’s still going into her room, isn’t he? I saw him in your mind._

_He is, but he doesn’t stay long. He hears her dreaming about you, freaks out, and leaves. It’s hysterical, actually._ She replays a couple choice moments for Jake to enjoy.

_What does she think of the mark?_

_I don’t know, Jake. You know her, she’s scared. I think she was hoping it was some kind of guarantee. That it would keep you from imprinting. She’s terrified that what happened to me will happen to her._

_I won’t imprint! I’ll never do that to her! I won’t hurt her like that!_

_You can’t guarantee that. You know that, Jake._

_But this doesn’t happen! Regular dreams don’t leave marks on your skin. You said it’s my scent, Leah. That has to mean something._

_But what does it mean?_

Jake knows what he wants it to mean. He wants it to be a confirmation of what he has believed his whole life. That Bella is his, that he is hers, and that nothing can break them apart.

He turns back to the woods. He wants to explore the area fully. He retraces his steps and double checks all the areas he saw the phantom vampire. He is fairly certain it was an illusion, but he has no way to be sure. It was certainly intended to be a distraction; that much is clear. The image of Victoria he saw outside his home must have been the same. The very one that led him on this wild goose chase. At least he has chased it away from Bella, even if for only a matter of days. And now, he has a clue what he’s fighting.

Now it’s time to go home. He would stay here and wait for it until the end of time if he thought that would protect her. But it knows exactly where he is now. It knows how close he has gotten to it, and it could go anywhere, wait as long as it wants for its chance. So he needs to get back to his Bella. He needs to be there to protect her as soon as possible, and for as long as she will let him. It’s time to go fight for her. Now that his wolf has chosen her as his mate, he won’t lose her to this newborn or to Edward Cullen.

He turns toward home.


End file.
